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  1. #31
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    Default Desperately needing sleep advice!

    Quote Originally Posted by Rose&Aurelia&Hannah View Post

    Yes my kids have woken thru the night. It's called teething, nightmares, general upset behaviour as for the past 2 years dh and I have lived in different states. From the time my second was 2 weeks old I was doing bedtime myself as he was on night shifts. Dh also spent a stint in Afghanistan. My dds were told that their father would die by other children so we had to get over that fear.

    Yes they wake early. It's normal for us Queenslanders. Sun is up early. I had to be at daycare at 6.10am so they got into a habit of 5/5.30am wake ups. I wake at 5am even now here in Canberra and head to the gym. Our house is a morning house. Sometimes they woke at 4am. It happens. You vent and get over it.

    I am lately a bit stressed as I have PND - and about to be admitted to the Peri natal mental health clinic. I was being treated for AND last year as it was a stressful pregnancy with dh away. Plus then being left alone with 3 kids and one 10 days old. Then having to pack up and move with a 8wk old. BY YOURSELF!!

    Tell me VP - would you last 1 week of my life of the past 2 years???

    And for your information - I was trying to be supportive and say that waking is normal. We've been thru it and survived.

    Way to go VP!
    And hugs. I know so much more is needed than hugs but just know there are so many people that support you, your choices.

    And I truly hope that things get better for you. I always marveled at how you cope so well with the circumstances in your life. Hugs hugs hugs.
    Last edited by Mod-Degrassi; 29-01-2016 at 21:44.

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  3. #32
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    Quote Originally Posted by twinklify View Post

    Its just my child. The way he is. And I have accepted that and chose to find a way for us to get through it. Co sleeping, sleep aids and all thise things that create 'bad habits' were a lifesaver for us.
    This. Eventually you learn to trust your own instincts and realise that it's just the way your child is.

    No one else, unless they've spent night after night with your particular child, can say that unless he has a medical issue, he should be able to sleep. People can give you really valuable advice and you can try it all, but sometimes the things that work for others just won't work for your kid. I've tried everything under the sun bar controlled crying, which I won't do and nothing worked for my child. Every gp that's ever seen him has said how highly alert and full on he his, even as a baby.

    Sometimes you just do what you need to do, to get through. Having a non sleeper is a huge challenge.

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  5. #33
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    Quote Originally Posted by Sonja View Post
    If you would only caveat your statement about the medical issue bull with "in my opinion". But you don't and you won't.

    Yet apart from a bunch of so called sleep trainers you have no evidence to support this statement.
    Yes of course it's my opinion...
    And that it's a load of bull is your opinion. What a great country we live in where we can all have opinions.

    Why are you so upset about my view? Is it because your kids have had difficulty sleeping and you feel I am personally attacking you? Apologies if my words have come across that way.

    If someone would like help with their child sleeping through (to include gentle techniques) feel free to pm me.

  6. #34
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    Quote Originally Posted by twinklify View Post
    And cosleeping, rocking, cuddling, feeding to sleep are all legitimate gentle ways to put your child to sleep. And no, they do not create bad habits. It creates a safe environment for the child.
    Yes they are all legitimate methods. They are also well known causes of night waking. If you don't have a problem with night waking then by all means continue to do those things if that is what you want to do.

  7. #35
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    Quote Originally Posted by VicPark View Post
    I can tell you are stressed so let's leave it (the personal attacks) before things escalate.

    Cheers
    You failed to answer my question???

    Would you manage or survive living even a week of my life??

    We all get that some kids love routine. We all get that some children are amiable to being 'tweaked'. We all get that some parents don't cope.

    But what you refuse to admit is that there are kids that are sensitive and tweaking will never work. Medical issues or not.

    My third baby is a koala baby. If you put her down she screams. If she can't see you, she screams. If I leave her by herself up sleep she gets so so upset she cries and then vomits with fear.

    So what can I do other than wear her? Bed share? She has no medical issues at all. Perfectly healthy. She just needs me. She needs me more than I need personal space or time. So whilst I'm slowly going mad I will not have my baby upset.

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  9. #36
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    Quote Originally Posted by VicPark View Post
    Yes of course it's my opinion...
    And that it's a load of bull is your opinion. What a great country we live in where we can all have opinions.

    Why are you so upset about my view? Is it because your kids have had difficulty sleeping and you feel I am personally attacking you? Apologies if my words have come across that way.

    If someone would like help with their child sleeping through (to include gentle techniques) feel free to pm me.
    The thing is though - I have no issues with suggestions on how to improve sleeping - its the statements that *every* child bar those with medical issues can sleep though.

    If the suggestions came without such statements people may be just a little more receptive.

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  11. #37
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    Quote Originally Posted by VicPark View Post
    Yes of course it's my opinion...
    And that it's a load of bull is your opinion. What a great country we live in where we can all have opinions.

    Why are you so upset about my view? Is it because your kids have had difficulty sleeping and you feel I am personally attacking you? Apologies if my words have come across that way.

    If someone would like help with their child sleeping through (to include gentle techniques) feel free to pm me.
    Not at all. My 4 all sleep through regularly and reliably so I speak without any emotion about this, except for the mums out there whose kids don't sleep and who read comments like yours and who feel like failures because of what you write.

    I've told you 1000 times that your view is not supported by sleep specialists at clinics. My view is not bull.

    Anyway I'm not interested in derailing this thread. I believe you do come from a place of genuine concern. And I have no doubt you have helped many people. I just think because you see the world through black and white your views are skewed at times.

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  13. #38
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    Quote Originally Posted by VicPark View Post
    Yes they are all legitimate methods. They are also well known causes of night waking. If you don't have a problem with night waking then by all means continue to do those things if that is what you want to do.
    And where is all the studies concluding these 'well known causes of night waking' are caused by certain types of sleep aids - and only the so called 'bad habit' sleep aids?

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    Quote Originally Posted by VicPark View Post
    It wasn't meant to be a personal attack however I stand by what I said. In most cases where there are no medical issues it is within a parents ability to help a child sleep through. I am sorry if that hurts. I'm not saying it's easy - it can be quite difficult for a parent to find the magic combination of things to tweak to help their child sleep through.

    Still reading through but...

    C'mon VP. Your 'expertise' is coming from having TWO children that slept through due to you using a specific book. I'm sorry but you're not an expert. Yes, the book worked for you but you are also a specific personality type that probably has children that react certain ways due to your parenting style and personality which enabled the book to work for you. You can give tips and opinions of what worked for YOU but please, please stop writing your posts as if you are an all knowing expert. It genuinely causes anxiety for some people who take your posts to heart as an 'expert.'

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    Quote Originally Posted by Rose&Aurelia&Hannah View Post
    You failed to answer my question???

    Would you manage or survive living even a week of my life??

    We all get that some kids love routine. We all get that some children are amiable to being 'tweaked'. We all get that some parents don't cope.

    But what you refuse to admit is that there are kids that are sensitive and tweaking will never work. Medical issues or not.

    My third baby is a koala baby. If you put her down she screams. If she can't see you, she screams. If I leave her by herself up sleep she gets so so upset she cries and then vomits with fear.

    So what can I do other than wear her? Bed share? She has no medical issues at all. Perfectly healthy. She just needs me. She needs me more than I need personal space or time. So whilst I'm slowly going mad I will not have my baby upset.
    I disagree with most of what you've said however as you're quite upset I think it's best I not go into specific detail - you're not a bad chick and I don't want to make your situation worse.


 

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