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  1. #21
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    Quote Originally Posted by VicPark View Post
    It wasn't meant to be a personal attack however I stand by what I said. In most cases where there are no medical issues it is within a parents ability to help a child sleep through. I am sorry if that hurts. I'm not saying it's easy - it can be quite difficult for a parent to find the magic combination of things to tweak to help their child sleep through.
    @VicPark. My favourite topic!

    It doesn't hurt because it's not true 😝.

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  3. #22
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    Quote Originally Posted by VicPark View Post
    It wasn't meant to be a personal attack however I stand by what I said. In most cases where there are no medical issues it is within a parents ability to help a child sleep through. I am sorry if that hurts. I'm not saying it's easy - it can be quite difficult for a parent to find the magic combination of things to tweak to help their child sleep through.
    I had never said it was a personal attack.

    But being a first time mum if I had read that 2 years ago I would be crushed.

    You cannot make sweeping (untrue) statements. Every single baby/child is different. Some love being on their own to sleep. Some love cots. Some love beds. Some love to be near mum or dad. Some grizzle and fall asleep. Some scream and do not fall asleep on their own.

    If I had followed advice such as SOS for my child I would have a child that would have issues sleeping now. And I would have had a lot less sleep than I had cosleeping.

    I would also hate to think my friend who had a child that 'failed' sleep school would read or hear statements like that and feel worse than she did. Even gentle sleep training from the school upset her boy so much he ended up in hospital due to seizures from spiking temps. And then months of being petrifelied of his cot.

    So, in conclusion - yes some babies like routine and some forms of training 'may' work for them but it does not work for everyone. Sometimes all kids need is time. And support. And that's ok too.

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  5. #23
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    Quote Originally Posted by Sonja View Post
    @VicPark. My favourite topic!

    It doesn't hurt because it's not true 😝.
    Denial ain't a river in Egypt

  6. #24
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    Default Desperately needing sleep advice!

    Quote Originally Posted by twinklify View Post

    So, in conclusion - yes some babies like routine and some forms of training 'may' work for them but it does not work for everyone. Sometimes all kids need is time. And support. And that's ok too.
    I'm not necessarily saying routine is necessary. Although I believe some sort of structure helps. And yes I agree different kids have different preferences and needs however I do not believe those differences negate a parents ability to implement changes that will help their child sleep through. A parent does not need to throw their arms in the air and leave it up to time if they feel they need a full nights sleep sooner rather than later. Of course riding it out and going with the flow is also a more than valid option if that is what the parent wishes to do.
    Last edited by VicPark; 29-01-2016 at 17:09.

  7. #25
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    Default Desperately needing sleep advice!

    Quote Originally Posted by VicPark View Post
    Your older kids sleep well now however from what I understand when younger they went through periods or waking through the night and to date they wake early? Which may have impacted stress mentioned in other threads?

    I know you are now comfortable with this and have a wonderful outlook regarding your kids. However it's important to recognise that many parents aren't able to cope with disrupted sleep. Aren't able to cope with early rising. Aren't able to cope with spending hours putting their kids to sleep in the evening or during the day. For many parents having kids that can't self settle or sleep through isn't parenting made simple it's parenting made a nightmare.

    Not trying to start anything and I'm not trying to criticise your parenting style (different strokes for different folks). I just think in a thread where a parent has said they are not coping with disrupted sleep they need more than to be told they should just co sleep, my kid sleeps through now he's 4, or go with the flow (the latter of which may help in the long term however it doesn't help today, tomorrow, next week or probably even next year).
    Yes my kids have woken thru the night. It's called teething, nightmares, general upset behaviour as for the past 2 years dh and I have lived in different states. From the time my second was 2 weeks old I was doing bedtime myself as he was on night shifts. Dh also spent a stint in Afghanistan. My dds were told that their father would die by other children so we had to get over that fear.

    Yes they wake early. It's normal for us Queenslanders. Sun is up early. I had to be at daycare at 6.10am so they got into a habit of 5/5.30am wake ups. I wake at 5am even now here in Canberra and head to the gym. Our house is a morning house. Sometimes they woke at 4am. It happens. You vent and get over it.

    I am lately a bit stressed as I have PND - and about to be admitted to the Peri natal mental health clinic. I was being treated for AND last year as it was a stressful pregnancy with dh away. Plus then being left alone with 3 kids and one 10 days old. Then having to pack up and move with a 8wk old. BY YOURSELF!!

    Tell me VP - would you last 1 week of my life of the past 2 years???

    And for your information - I was trying to be supportive and say that waking is normal. We've been thru it and survived.

    Way to go VP!
    Last edited by Mod-Degrassi; 29-01-2016 at 21:43.

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  9. #26
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    Quote Originally Posted by VicPark View Post
    It wasn't meant to be a personal attack however I stand by what I said. In most cases where there are no medical issues it is within a parents ability to help a child sleep through. I am sorry if that hurts. I'm not saying it's easy - it can be quite difficult for a parent to find the magic combination of things to tweak to help their child sleep through.
    Yes. As emotional and psychological needs of the child don't matter????

  10. #27
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    Default Desperately needing sleep advice!

    Quote Originally Posted by Rose&Aurelia&Hannah View Post

    Yes my kids have woken thru the night. It's called teething, nightmares, general upset behaviour as for the past 2 years dh and I have lived in different states. From the time my second was 2 weeks old I was doing bedtime myself as he was on night shifts. Dh also spent a stint in Afghanistan. My dds were told that their father would die by other children so we had to get over that fear.

    Yes they wake early. It's normal for us Queenslanders. Sun is up early. I had to be at daycare at 6.10am so they got into a habit of 5/5.30am wake ups. I wake at 5am even now here in Canberra and head to the gym. Our house is a morning house. Sometimes they woke at 4am. It happens. You vent and get over it.

    I am lately a bit stressed as I have PND - and about to be admitted to the Peri natal mental health clinic. I was being treated for AND last year as it was a stressful pregnancy with dh away. Plus then being left alone with 3 kids and one 10 days old. Then having to pack up and move with a 8wk old. BY YOURSELF!!

    Tell me VP - would you last 1 week of my life of the past 2 years???

    And for your information - I was trying to be supportive and say that waking is normal. We've been thru it and survived.

    Way to go VP!
    I can tell you are stressed so let's leave it (the personal attacks) before things escalate.

    Cheers
    Last edited by Mod-Degrassi; 29-01-2016 at 21:43.

  11. #28
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    Quote Originally Posted by VicPark View Post
    Denial ain't a river in Egypt
    If you would only caveat your statement about the medical issue bull with "in my opinion". But you don't and you won't.

    Yet apart from a bunch of so called sleep trainers you have no evidence to support this statement.

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  13. #29
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    Default Desperately needing sleep advice!

    Quote Originally Posted by Rose&Aurelia&Hannah View Post
    Yes. As emotional and psychological needs of the child don't matter????
    Sleep and the psychological needs of the child are not necessarily mutually exclusive. There are plenty of gentle ways to encourage sleep in a child if that is what a parent wished to do.
    Last edited by VicPark; 29-01-2016 at 17:15.

  14. #30
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    Quote Originally Posted by VicPark View Post
    Sleep and the psychological needs of the child need not be mutually exclusive. There are plenty of gentle ways to encourage sleep in a child if that is what a parent wished to do,
    And cosleeping, rocking, cuddling, feeding to sleep are all legitimate gentle ways to put your child to sleep. And no, they do not create bad habits. It creates a safe environment for the child.

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