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  1. #1
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    Default Desperately needing sleep advice!

    My 20 month old has been waking up multiple times in the night for the last year. My oldest starts school next week and I'm worried that he's also getting disturbed sleep. My youngests routine is 6.30pm-bath 7.00 story and milk. We then hold him until he falls asleep (if we put him into the cot awake he will scream until he vomits) he then sleeps until 10pm then screams so myself or husband will pat his back until he settles. He's then awake at midnight, 2am and 3am by which point I usually bring him into our bed to get some sleep! I usually key him cry for 15 mins as I can't stand to leave it longer. Has anyone got any advice other than controlled crying? I'm so desperate for sleep!

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    Noticed your in SA. How about the sleep dr? I have not used him, so I can't say, however I know people who have and they swear by him.

    Could your little one have night terrors? Maybe too hot? Cold?
    Maybe something in his diet that upsets his tummy?

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    My best advice is to go to sleep school. It's much easier to focus on it there, it's too exhausting at home when you have a million other things to do.

    I know you said you don't want to do controlled crying but don't write off sleep school for that reason - I went with my son at about 15mo and never left him to cry for more than a few minutes. It didn't feel like 'controlled crying' at all, it seemed very responsive.

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    I've not heard of the sleep doctor?? How do I get visit?

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    Quote Originally Posted by Nafsika View Post
    Noticed your in SA. How about the sleep dr? I have not used him, so I can't say, however I know people who have and they swear by him.

    Could your little one have night terrors? Maybe too hot? Cold?
    Maybe something in his diet that upsets his tummy?
    I must see this sleep doctor guy! Could be my last hope! How do I get to see him? We're getting referred to the hospital....his tummy doesn't seem to bother him in the day and he settles at night as soon as we hold him?

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    Default Desperately needing sleep advice!

    Have medical issues been ruled out? Is your toddler fully established on solids?

    Assuming all is ok on the doctor/solid front it seems like your toddler hasn't learned to self settle, likely because of how he is put to bed.

    If a baby/toddler is aided to sleep (rocking, patting, music, holding, dummy, milk) then when bub moves from one sleep cycle to another if that same sleep aid isn't there bub will think "wtf! Where has my dummy/milk/mummy gone."

    The best way to encourage a young child to sleep through is to ensure the sleep environment is the same through the night as it is at bedtime. Some parents chose to not use sleep aids that require adult intervention to maintain (eg rocking, patting, dummy, milk).

    If you want bub to stop waking through the night then you are going to have to stop holding bub to sleep/patting to get back to sleep. Definitely do not transfer bub from one location (your arms) to another (cot) after bub falls asleep.

    Yes it can be easier said than done... First step. Make sure you have a toy comforter and use it at every sleep time regardless of whether it's in the pram/car etc. only use it at sleep time (may take a few weeks to take affect so don't give up too early). Secondly, try to slowly stretch out to at least 20 mins of play time between the last milk feed and bed (break the association between milk and sleep). I do dinner, shower, milk, play, book, bed. Thirdly - put bub in the cot awake. I totally understand why you are concerned bub would get upset so I am not suggesting you just leave bub there. Provide comfort when you put bub in cot. I uses a shush-pat technique with my second. Place your hand on bubs chest, pat the mattres above bubs head and start "shushing." When bub appears calm take your hand of bubs chest (but keep patting the mattress and shushing). After a couple of minutes if bub is calm stop patting the mattress (keep shushing). If bub is still calm in a few minutes slowly move towards the door while shushing. Then leave. If any any point bub starts to stir up again - return to the previous step (eg add patting the mattress). Then continue as before. You may have to go back and forth a few times but stick with it. The idea is to leave when bub is drowsy but awake (so technically bub is putting himself to sleep). Over time you should be able to leave bub in an an increasingly wakeful state.

    It may take a few weeks before any new change in routine works.

    Some may suggest co-sleeping and it can work for them. If that's what you prefer then don't feel any shame over that. If co-sleeping isn't for you (I personally do not like it - my boys are so restless I can't get any sleep) then don't feel any shame about that either and feel free to try the above advice.

    Good luck.
    Last edited by VicPark; 29-01-2016 at 06:22.

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    Both my older two girls hit the 18mth sleep regression.

    We bed shared. No crying and I didn't lose sleep.

    Win win.

    Eta. I'm not ashamed of my parenting at all. I'm pretty good at being an awesome mum.

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    Quote Originally Posted by Mum of 2 munchkins View Post
    I've not heard of the sleep doctor?? How do I get visit?
    My understanding is the 'baby sleep doctor' is very pro-controlled crying and regimented so if you don't want that approach avoid him.
    If you're looking for help in SA try CAFHS for free help (I know they have a 12 month old cutoff for residential sleep service but they may be able to help through a day program?) or privately whispers cottage, baby sleep consultant or the Paediatric sleep clinic at Kensington can all help with non-controlled crying approaches.

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    Mum of 2 munchkins  (29-01-2016)

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    Quote Originally Posted by Rose&Aurelia&Hannah View Post
    Both my older two girls hit the 18mth sleep regression.

    We bed shared. No crying and I didn't lose sleep.

    Win win.

    Eta. I'm not ashamed of my parenting at all. I'm pretty good at being an awesome mum.
    This. I just co slept with DS until he was ready. No issues with 'self settling' now and he does sleep through.

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    Default Desperately needing sleep advice!

    I saw the sleep doctor in Adelaide and his approach does work but it is a very difficult process that involves leaving your Bub to cry. I saw him at 14 months and it took 6 nights for my boy to sleep 7-5 he's now 19 months and still sleeping well.

    I know he is controversial so if you want more info on the approach pm me 😄
    Last edited by Joeee; 29-01-2016 at 08:30.


 

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