+ Reply to Thread
Page 1 of 2 12 LastLast
Results 1 to 10 of 15
  1. #1
    Join Date
    Oct 2012
    Posts
    29
    Thanks
    13
    Thanked
    8
    Reviews
    0

    Default Advice needed- 3.5 year old starting kindy

    My DS is only 3.5 but is due to start Kindy here in WA next week. However he is still TT( does all wees on toilet but is yet to poo on toilet) and I spoke with his teacher to see where they stood on this issue.

    They have decided not to let him attend until he has been fully toilet trained, which I thought might be the case but now I am just feeling so sorry for my little boy as he was really excited about going.

    I do feel he is at a disadvantage starting school so young and the pressure to have him fully TT before kindy has been a great stress to us. I was feeling that it was just a matter of time until it would 'click' for him but now I'm worrying that I'm not doing enough or maybe there's a physical reason for this?

    He is healthy is every way. We have tried rewards, reminders, activities to encourage him to sit on the toilet, lots of praise, he knows what we want him to do but he doesn't even stop playing when he's poohed in his pants. Only recently he has told us once it's happened but before that it would be up to us to discover if he had gone.

    He is such a social and bubbly little boy, I feel like he would really enjoy going to kindy I'm just not sure where to go next with the TT really. Does anyone have any advice? Or maybe even just some reassurance as I'm feeling a bit of crap mummy ATM.

  2. #2
    Join Date
    Apr 2012
    Posts
    12,708
    Thanks
    9,558
    Thanked
    12,691
    Reviews
    0
    Achievements:Topaz Star - 500 postsAmber Star - 2,000 postsAmethyst Star - 5,000 postsEmerald Star - 10,000 posts
    Awards:
    Busiest Member of the Week - week ended 9/1/15Busiest Member of the Week - week ended 7/11/14Busiest Member of the Week - week ended 3/10/14100 Posts in a week

    Default Advice needed- 3.5 year old starting kindy

    Can you put your DS in a structured playgroup or daycare for a year? And start kindy next year? I don't think delaying kindy until your DS was older makes you a crap mum.

  3. #3
    Join Date
    Jun 2005
    Location
    At the beach
    Posts
    10,495
    Thanks
    1,430
    Thanked
    9,003
    Reviews
    3
    Achievements:Topaz Star - 500 postsAmber Star - 2,000 postsAmethyst Star - 5,000 postsEmerald Star - 10,000 posts
    Awards:
    Busiest Member of the Week - week ended 17/10/14100 Posts in a week
    Can you find a sympathetic kindy? I know the school ones tend to be very strict about TT'ing as they're just not equipped to handle LOTS of accidents. But when my kids were in kindy there were kids who had accidents all the time.

    My son previously went to a montisori preschool and they had 4 year olds still not properly toilet trained.

    Are there alternatives to the school kindy? I realise it's most attractive as it's usually free and the kids make friendships that carry to preprimary but are there alternatives?

  4. #4
    Join Date
    Jun 2009
    Location
    Sydney
    Posts
    3,233
    Thanks
    650
    Thanked
    887
    Reviews
    0
    Achievements:Topaz Star - 500 postsAmber Star - 2,000 posts
    Are you in Perth?

    I know a really good one in Scarborough that would still allow him to go.

  5. #5
    Join Date
    Oct 2012
    Posts
    29
    Thanks
    13
    Thanked
    8
    Reviews
    0
    Thanks ladies I'm thinking of trying a 3+ program near by which is only one day a week but he doesn't need to be TT and will at least be something for him to start with. Id still like him to attend this kindy when he's ready as my older child goes there as well. I guess I was just feeling like I should have been on top of TT by now but I've really waited until he seemed ready to do it and it's taken a bit longer than I thought.

  6. #6
    GrabbyCrabby's Avatar
    GrabbyCrabby is offline She is everything I need, that I never knew I wanted... She is everything I want, that I never knew I needed...
    Join Date
    Oct 2009
    Posts
    1,167
    Thanks
    3,303
    Thanked
    205
    Reviews
    3
    Achievements:Topaz Star - 500 posts
    We were seeing an OT for DS - similar issue. She said they couldn't not take him. It would probably be a case of me having to go and change him of he did a poo, but they couldn't refuse enrolment based on a developmental delay. Go and see the principal, and CHN for a referral to the OT.

  7. #7
    Join Date
    Oct 2011
    Location
    Brisbane
    Posts
    254
    Thanks
    272
    Thanked
    55
    Reviews
    0
    Quote Originally Posted by GrabbyCrabby View Post
    We were seeing an OT for DS - similar issue. She said they couldn't not take him. It would probably be a case of me having to go and change him of he did a poo, but they couldn't refuse enrolment based on a developmental delay. Go and see the principal, and CHN for a referral to the OT.
    I think its a bit harsh to call his TT status "a developmental delay"!!

    My 3.5 yo started kindy today, he is TT'd but still has accidents, especially when he is "busy" - like he will be at kindy. They have several children who aren't yet toilet trained. Once they are all together though, TT starts to make a bit more sense to them, when everyone goes, or a friend takes them. I would have another talk to the kindy and maybe work out some kind of plan with them?

    Good luck

  8. #8
    Join Date
    Oct 2012
    Posts
    29
    Thanks
    13
    Thanked
    8
    Reviews
    0
    Yes I was hoping they might let him start and as I am only 2 mins away they may even consider calling me if they needed me to change him etc. However they've made it clear that they have other concerns about hygiene, the social aspect should the other kids know he is wearing a pull up etc. I know he would be fine with doing his wees and was hoping that being around other kids all using the toilet might move him along...

    At this stage I don't feel it's a developmental delay as such. He is actually ahead in many other aspects. I just feel he needs that extra time to get the hang of it. So by taking the pressure off with delaying kindy and telling him when he's ready he can go to school might actually help him along. We've all been a bit stressed this summer trying to help him be ready in time, poor little guy, that probably hasn't helped.

  9. #9
    GrabbyCrabby's Avatar
    GrabbyCrabby is offline She is everything I need, that I never knew I wanted... She is everything I want, that I never knew I needed...
    Join Date
    Oct 2009
    Posts
    1,167
    Thanks
    3,303
    Thanked
    205
    Reviews
    3
    Achievements:Topaz Star - 500 posts
    Quote Originally Posted by BluePixie View Post
    [FONT=verdana][COLOR=#000080]I think its a bit harsh to call his TT status "a developmental delay"!!
    I did not say her son has a delay, or not TTing is a developmental delay. It was the advice given by the OT about DS' situation. School would not have been able to refuse enrolment based on his TT status / developmental delay.

  10. The Following 2 Users Say Thank You to GrabbyCrabby For This Useful Post:

    Mod-Degrassi  (28-01-2016),VicPark  (28-01-2016)

  11. #10
    Join Date
    Dec 2008
    Location
    Perth WA
    Posts
    51
    Thanks
    36
    Thanked
    25
    Reviews
    0
    My daughter was borderline toilet trained for poo when she went to Kindy at 3 yrs & 11 months. She used to ask for a nappy to do it in so I guess she knew it was coming but was scared of doing it in the toilet. I didn't mention it to the teacher because she was good at holding on and waiting till she got home.

    Just after she turned 4 she got the hang of it. She wasn't in a pull-up during the day and asked for a nappy for a poo when we were at the beach one day. I said we didn't have one and she ended up doing it on the toilet after about half an hour of trying. After that she gradually started using the toilet.

    She doesn't have any other issues and has been very successful at school since then. I think at 3.5 yrs he's still very young and just needs a little more time like my daughter. I found when I got stressed with her about it she got more resistant.

    It's a shame that your school hasn't been a bit more helpful. You know if he misses Kindy he may have to go straight to pre primary if you are in WA? Ask you school about that as they are apparently reluctant to have children held back and like to keep them with their age group. I think that's crap! Hopefully he will be able to transition to kindy later in the year?

    Also incidentally my daughter has only just night time toilet trained at the age nearly 6. We didn't rush her as she wasn't ready before then. Now she's great and never has accidents but she's way behind all of her friends who seemed to do it years ago!


 

Similar Threads

  1. advice needed :)
    By Sirena89 in forum Family & Friends
    Replies: 6
    Last Post: 30-01-2016, 07:55
  2. Late enrolment for Kindy at this time of the year and waiting lists!
    By bunnymum in forum Preschools and Schools
    Replies: 9
    Last Post: 12-12-2015, 21:25
  3. Replies: 11
    Last Post: 08-10-2015, 12:35

Posting Permissions

  • You may not post new threads
  • You may not post replies
  • You may not post attachments
  • You may not edit your posts
free weekly newsletters | sign up now!
who are these people who write great posts? meet our hubbub authors!
Learn how you can contribute to the hubbub!

reviews
learn how you can become a reviewer!

competitions

forum - chatting now
christmas gift guidesee all Red Stocking
Pyjamas.com.au
With so many gorgeous brands and styles for every season, our pyjamas, nighties, robes, sleepsuits and sleeping bags are lovely for lights out and perfect for lazy days. Get 10% off first order using code bubhub. Be quick offer ends 31/12/16.
sales & new stuffsee all
Bub Hub Sales Listing
HAVING A SALE? Let parents know about it with a Bub Hub Sales listing. Listings are featured on our well trafficked Sales Page + selected randomly to appear on EVERY page
featured supporter
The MAMA Centre
Pregnancy, birth & beyond care with your very own midwife. Home & hospital birth support, VBACs, antenatal & postnatal care by medicare eligible midwives & holistic health practitioners. Massage, chiro, naturopathy, yoga, counselling & beauty therapy
gotcha
X

Pregnant for the first-time?

Not sure where to start? We can help!

Our Insider Programs for pregnancy first-timers will lead you step-by-step through the 14 Pregnancy Must Dos!