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  1. #1
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    Default IVF over 40 #25

    Over 40s Roll Call


    Waiting :-
    blossom74 start stims 29/02
    amie999
    precious40 - ED
    twiglets
    green lady - waiting PGD results 2 frosty
    Fudge09 #8
    calypso75 start early feb)
    infinity888
    MamaKes - DE 2016
    SophJ
    Countrygirl72
    midnite01
    Maxwellsmum
    SMJ
    tahli - ED (CFC)
    summer start stims mid jan
    sue77 - #8 waiting PGD results
    tuxcat
    krissy74 #3 2 frosties


    Cycling/TWW :-
    GreyDove
    gagingi 1 normal frosty
    billie2 - stimming
    winsor- BT 15th feb - last frosty
    caesardust- ET last 2 frosties 3rd Feb
    charlie74 - stimming 2 frosties (1normal, 1 untested)


    UTD
    Bongley - #12 DE boy due 1st Sept
    lolly99 - twins!
    JulieMalooley - #14 - CFC DE twins girl/boy
    corbes -
    Chiefsgirl - #9 DE girl due 13th April
    faithandhopellove - #6 twins!
    petal40 - #7 1 frosty left due april 30
    ferngirl -


    Graduated
    BlondeinBrisVegas - #5 baby girl born 28/8/14
    MrsErinR - #4 DE
    MGCBertie #13
    Emski72 - #8 DE (SA) baby girl born 12/11/14
    Killarneygirl little girl
    Liveandlearn - #4 baby girl born 22/9/14
    Ann17 - #6 baby born 21/5/14
    Sunny15 - #9 baby boy born 24/4/14
    TeamPanda #8 baby girl born 21/4/14
    MusicalGal #4 baby boy born 7/3/14
    Twocam #1 baby boy born 19/1/14
    Chook11 #6 baby boy born 15/1/14
    Smileygirl #1 baby girl born ?/13
    JoJoD #10 baby boy born 12/12/13
    Bongley - #4 OE baby boy born 11/12
    Wannabb - twins born 2012
    Micca - #3 baby girl born 2011 and #11 baby born 18/1/14
    Ertgirl #3 baby boy born 2012?
    Cyd #10 baby boy born 2011?
    Angels4Me #1 baby boy born /12
    Octoberbaby2010 #2 baby born 20/9/10 and #8 baby born 19/4/14
    GNH #1 baby girl born 2010 and #3 baby boy born 2012
    Last edited by Bongley; 05-02-2016 at 10:52.

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  3. #2
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    Quote Originally Posted by Gagingi View Post
    @Caesardust and @Charlie74 - could the sugar coating stir up thrush?

    For lining Wazza would say lots of rooties, but I cannot remember if your men have had the snip... Then I think we wondered if spermless semen may still has some benefits for lining. I think there is some suggestion it does help.

    I don't have lining issues - it's not awesome, but okay and am usually on 8 Progynova and 8 Ralovera.
    Yep I think it's possible it could stir up thrush but that's not a big deal imo. I think that's the worst that might happen and apparently treating thrush in the midst of an IVF cycle is not a problem. The benefits outweigh the risk of thrush I think

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  5. #3
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    @AngelD Welcome Luv!!!😊

    Hoping & praying your next Cycle gets you over the line to a BFFP!!!😊

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  7. #4
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    @Caesardust I agree with & Charlie74

    Take 4 mg Progynova 2x a day orally plus 4mg's up the VJay Jay at night.

    Whack an extra patch on too. You've got nothing to lose & everything to gain at this point

    P.S....I was on 12mg's a day of Progynova with Wazza as well as Ralovera tabs too plus all the other pharmacy of pills/supplements/ pessaries & injections!!!
    Last edited by BlondeinBrisvegas; 26-01-2016 at 09:36.

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  9. #5
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    Quote Originally Posted by Blossom74 View Post
    @Summer, how did your session with DH go love?
    Thanks @Blossom74 and big thanks to everyone that wished me well last night. The session itself was quite good, I didn't cry once which just shows either how angry I actually am, lol, or how much I've healed and moved forward from the worst of my grief. Am very proud of myself actually, as normally I'd be a howling mess on the floor talking about this stuff.

    So as it turns out DH does not want to go through the heartache and grief of trying again and having another miscarriage, so he does not want to do IVF or DE and wants to stop now and move straight into adopting an older child/children. I said I didn't feel I was finished yet, so we are at an impasse and have instructions to go home and keep talking it through until we can find peace in a decision that we can both live with. Doesn't that sound like fun?

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  11. #6
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    Quote Originally Posted by Summer View Post
    Thanks @Blossom74 and big thanks to everyone that wished me well last night. The session itself was quite good, I didn't cry once which just shows either how angry I actually am, lol, or how much I've healed and moved forward from the worst of my grief. Am very proud of myself actually, as normally I'd be a howling mess on the floor talking about this stuff.

    So as it turns out DH does not want to go through the heartache and grief of trying again and having another miscarriage, so he does not want to do IVF or DE and wants to stop now and move straight into adopting an older child/children. I said I didn't feel I was finished yet, so we are at an impasse and have instructions to go home and keep talking it through until we can find peace in a decision that we can both live with. Doesn't that sound like fun?

    Oh gosh hon. So the bare bones of it are that he has been fighting it not because of money or your health, but just because he doesn't want to do it at all. That must be terribly difficult to hear, especially since you are still very much hopeful of having your own child, and time is of the essence to do so.

    I don't envy you hon. You can't force someone to want to do IVF. Likewise if you are anything like me you can't simply give up on having your own baby when you are so desperate for that experience. I don't know how anyone wins in that situation. If DH is putting his foot down about it and refuses to proceed, you either have to give up on your dreams or move on without him. That is such a hard place to be in

    What are your thoughts at this time hon? You know your DH better than we do - is he likely to come around to your way of thinking, or did he seem set on it? Would you sacrifice your relationship if it meant a chance at having a baby of your own?


    Hugs for you


    Blossom

    ETA: This will sound incredibly selfish on my part, but although adoption is always available as a last ditch option, the experience I really crave (deep down in my soul) is to grow, nourish and give birth to my own baby. Genetics wouldn't matter to me but adopting an 8 year old child, whilst still making me a Mother, would not satisfy my maternal urge.)
    Last edited by Blossom74; 26-01-2016 at 11:30.

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  13. #7
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    Quote Originally Posted by Blossom74 View Post
    Oh gosh hon. So the bare bones of it are that he has been fighting it not because of money or your health, but just because he doesn't want to do it at all. That must be terribly difficult to hear, especially since you are still very much hopeful of having your own child, and time is of the essence to do so.

    I don't envy you hon. You can't force someone to want to do IVF. Likewise if you are anything like me you can't simply give up on having your own baby when you are so desperate for that experience. I don't know how anyone wins in that situation. If DH is putting his foot down about it and refuses to proceed, you either have to give up on your dreams or move on without him. That is such a hard place to be in

    What are your thoughts at this time hon? You know your DH better than we do - is he likely to come around to your way of thinking, or did he seem set on it? Would you sacrifice your relationship if it meant a chance at having a baby of your own?


    Hugs for you


    Blossom

    ETA: This will sound incredibly selfish on my part, but although adoption is always available as a last ditch option, the experience I really crave (deep down in my soul) is to grow, nourish and give birth to my own baby. Genetics wouldn't matter to me but adopting an 8 year old child, whilst still making me a Mother, would not satisfy my maternal urge.)
    Thank you so much hon, your kind wishes and thoughts mean a lot

    I do think that once we talk it through DH will come around now that he's actually voiced what is really going on underneath which is that he hasn't healed his grief. I'm well along that path, but he's just stuffed it down and bottled it up (like a guy!) and it's been coming out in all the wrong ways. He is genuinely concerned for my health, so that is very real, but I am well on my way to great health again, I'm losing weight, getting fit, down to only a tiny amount of thyroid hormone now - everything is heading in the right direction in that regards. My period is a mystery, but it is likely to be something to do with the virus I had or as one of the other ladies mentioned, possibly a corpus luteum cyst or something. I will get that looked into, but on the whole I'm doing very well.

    I totally agree with you. Although I have always, always envisioned myself adopting older children, I still yearn for the experience of carrying, birthing, and raising a baby. That primal instinct does not go away and it is so strong that I hope I don't have to make a decision as to having a child or having a relationship. The counselor was very clear that the relationship comes first or there is no point to having a child, so I'm hoping that now everything is on the table, that we can make a plan to move forward. I am going to encourage DH to see the counselor on his own to work through his own stuff without me as I think that will help too. So still a work in progress...

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  15. #8
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    Quote Originally Posted by Summer View Post
    The counselor was very clear that the relationship comes first or there is no point to having a child

    Wow. Tell that to all the single mothers out there! I find that a really odd comment to make. I think it smacks of someone who has no idea what it's like to not have held a baby of their own in their arms, and to know the special kind of desperation and pain that goes along with that.

    For me personally, if my DH hadn't supported me in this I would have left. That's harsh, but it's how I feel. Being with him and him alone will be enough for me if we tried everything within our means, but being denied the opportunity to even try - well, I guess I'd risk it all.

    That's me though, and not you I think you are incredibly brave, and from everything you've said you handled yourself with a quiet dignity I am very envious of.

    Perhaps the 1 on 1 sessions for your DH might help him open up and overcome his grief. I really do hope so because the rewards, as you already know, would far outweigh the grief that the whole process brings. Every day my heart hurts for the baby that I never had, but I know that in my soul, having another opportunity would help mend that wound.

    Hugs to you both as you navigate this tricky path


    Blossom

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  17. #9
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    Quote Originally Posted by Summer View Post
    Thanks @Blossom74 and big thanks to everyone that wished me well last night. The session itself was quite good, I didn't cry once which just shows either how angry I actually am, lol, or how much I've healed and moved forward from the worst of my grief. Am very proud of myself actually, as normally I'd be a howling mess on the floor talking about this stuff.

    So as it turns out DH does not want to go through the heartache and grief of trying again and having another miscarriage, so he does not want to do IVF or DE and wants to stop now and move straight into adopting an older child/children. I said I didn't feel I was finished yet, so we are at an impasse and have instructions to go home and keep talking it through until we can find peace in a decision that we can both live with. Doesn't that sound like fun?
    Well Luv...now that he's finally laid his cards on the table, what to do?? I knew there was more to it!!

    Anyhoo...here's what I'm thinking.....Would your DH be open to you doing a Cycle either with your OE or DE if you get the embryo's PGD tested as well which will reduce your risk of MC greatly as will being able to implement an immune protocol now you know you have immune issues?? With those 2 bases covered, your risk of another MC is very slim IMO. I know it does happen even with DE/Embryo's but that's usually because an underlying issue hasn't been discovered whether that be chromosomal because they weren't tested or immune etc.

    If push comes to shove, you may have to compromise about possibly not doing an OE Cycle though you could PGD any embryo's that you get as well. I know this is an expensive excercise, but so is adoption. My concern with adoption here in this backward country is that it takes YEARS plus my understanding is that you have to be done and dusted with any and all ART too.

    There is also an age limit which by the time your turn came around (even if adopting from overseas), I fear you would both be deemed ineligible. I also fear if your DH doesn't allow you to try to have that experience of pregnancy and delivering your baby regardless of whether it's OE/DE, then you'll end up feeling some level of resentment, bitterness toward DH for the rest of your life not to mention the feeling of regret and sadness too that you weren't able to draw a line under it all one way or another before embarking on the adoption path.

    I think if you can present him with the facts on PGD/Immune Protocol and the amount of frucking time it'll take to actually adopt a child with the risk you'll be denied that opportunity too due to age, he will compromise with and agree to you doing either an OE or DE Cycle or maybe both??

    Another point is regarding DE is the opportunity to have excess embryo's frozen for siblings down the line Luv. Your oven's good (generally speaking) until 50 even if your eggs aren't!!!

    P.S....I understand what the counsellor is saying about the relationship too.

    Big (((HUGS))) to you Luv as this must be such a stressful and difficult issue to negotiate for you. At the end of the day, someone's going to have to give in xoxo
    Last edited by BlondeinBrisvegas; 26-01-2016 at 12:24.

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  19. #10
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    Quote Originally Posted by Blossom74 View Post
    Wow. Tell that to all the single mothers out there! I find that a really odd comment to make. I think it smacks of someone who has no idea what it's like to not have held a baby of their own in their arms, and to know the special kind of desperation and pain that goes along with that.

    Blossom
    Oops I probably didn't word that all that well! He meant in our personal and particular situation, that if we focus solely on having a child and completely lose focus on the relationship, then even if we get there, we are likely to split anyway because of the damage done to the relationship along the way. If that makes more sense?

    He didn't mean that there's no point to having a child without a relationship in the terms of single mothers, or the breakdown of relationships in the general course of life - he was talking about us, and that we wanted originally to have a child as the natural progression of our relationship and love for each other. If that is no longer valid because our relationship is failing, then do we want to bring a child into that for the right reasons? That was where he was going with it - did I explain that a bit better?

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