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  1. #21
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    No advice here either but I couldn't read this and not offer huge hugs to you and your brother and family.

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    ertgirl  (25-01-2016)

  3. #22
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    Huge Hugs ... I am so sorry

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    ertgirl  (26-01-2016)

  5. #23
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    Another who couldn't and run.
    Sometimes there are no words.

    Big hugs xoxo

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    ertgirl  (26-01-2016)

  7. #24
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    I'm sorry to hear this.
    My dad's cancer started in his lymph nodes back in 2001. He made it to early last year relatively well until he started getting the severe back and chest pain and numbness down one side. In may he got diagnosed with lung cancer. He was on a long list of pain meds and not having a very good quality of life. Unfortunately it was very agesssive and he passed away in august, he was 59. It was only once my mum got his death certificate that we found out the cancer had spread much much more than the drs told us. It was in some of his organs and spine as well.
    It makes me angry they advised him to go through radiation knowing full well it wouldn't work or give him more time. It just caused him more pain. I think it's wrong and cruel they didn't disclose to him just how far it had spread. Giving him false hope that the radiation was shrinking the lung tumour. Anyway sorry I'm rambling, it's still very raw for me and i have not properly grieved or dealt with his loss yet. I had my baby 3 weeks after he passed.

    I'm sending big hugs.
    My only advice is spend as much time with him as possible.

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    ertgirl  (26-01-2016)

  9. #25
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    Quote Originally Posted by meandmyboys82 View Post
    I'm sorry to hear this.
    My dad's cancer started in his lymph nodes back in 2001. He made it to early last year relatively well until he started getting the severe back and chest pain and numbness down one side. In may he got diagnosed with lung cancer. He was on a long list of pain meds and not having a very good quality of life. Unfortunately it was very agesssive and he passed away in august, he was 59. It was only once my mum got his death certificate that we found out the cancer had spread much much more than the drs told us. It was in some of his organs and spine as well.
    It makes me angry they advised him to go through radiation knowing full well it wouldn't work or give him more time. It just caused him more pain. I think it's wrong and cruel they didn't disclose to him just how far it had spread. Giving him false hope that the radiation was shrinking the lung tumour. Anyway sorry I'm rambling, it's still very raw for me and i have not properly grieved or dealt with his loss yet. I had my baby 3 weeks after he passed.

    I'm sending big hugs.
    My only advice is spend as much time with him as possible.
    I'm so, so sorry for your loss. It sounds like your Dad suffered for a long time. That must have been so hard for you. Yes, even though it's very early days for us they're giving us conflicting info. On the one hand they've said its stage 4 which I thought meant it was terminal but on the other hand they're saying that the lesion on his lung is very small & may be treatable. His liver is covered & it's in his lymph nodes. If I'm honest with myself about what I saw on Sunday then he only has weeks. But then maybe that was the dehydration causing him to be so week & sick. Because the dr is saying it will be at least 2 weeks till he gets his biopsy due to a very long waiting list (& that's putting him at top priority) which seems absurd that there is such a long wait but also makes me thing they think he has time to spare... I'm rambling too. I love him so much, he's a very gentle person, his nickname for me since I was a little girl is 'Kitten'. I don't want to see him suffer.

  10. #26
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    Quote Originally Posted by ertgirl View Post
    Thanks for the support. A & S does the pal care team come to your own home or is it in hospital? When my dad was dying he was getting pal care at hospital. Thanks.
    Im so sorry to hear about your brother... with the pal care ... they came to my mums house a few times a day ... they were the most caring nurses ever ! At such a horrible time they were truly amazing

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    ertgirl  (26-01-2016)

  12. #27
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    Quote Originally Posted by ertgirl View Post
    I'm so, so sorry for your loss. It sounds like your Dad suffered for a long time. That must have been so hard for you. Yes, even though it's very early days for us they're giving us conflicting info. On the one hand they've said its stage 4 which I thought meant it was terminal but on the other hand they're saying that the lesion on his lung is very small & may be treatable. His liver is covered & it's in his lymph nodes. If I'm honest with myself about what I saw on Sunday then he only has weeks. But then maybe that was the dehydration causing him to be so week & sick. Because the dr is saying it will be at least 2 weeks till he gets his biopsy due to a very long waiting list (& that's putting him at top priority) which seems absurd that there is such a long wait but also makes me thing they think he has time to spare... I'm rambling too. I love him so much, he's a very gentle person, his nickname for me since I was a little girl is 'Kitten'. I don't want to see him suffer.
    Thanks. He was actually going really well until last year. He got the flu and it just never improved. Thats when they found the lung tumour. It all went downhill very fast. We were on our way up to see him (they live 5 hours away from us) to essentially say goodbye, when mum rang and told me he'd passed. I think he did it on purpose because it would have just been too hard. We are both the type to avoid big emotional situations. I just wish i could have seen him one more time and i regret every day not going up the day before. My mum gad rang that afternoon saying it didn't look good. Ds1 was cranky and needed a sleep and it would have been lateby the time we got there, visiting hours would have been over. So we left early the next day. Just didn't make it in time.
    We had been told he had a few months but i think he'd just had enough of the pain and decided he wanted to go.

    I think it's absurd he has to wait so long. The hospital down here stuffed my dad around too. He was of the impression that because he was a smoker he wasn't a priority. I think now it's because there was no hope so they didn't rush. They even told him his cancer was a different type to the one he had.
    I'm so disillusioned by the medical system in our country.

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    ertgirl  (26-01-2016)

  14. #28
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    Quote Originally Posted by meandmyboys82 View Post
    Thanks. He was actually going really well until last year. He got the flu and it just never improved. Thats when they found the lung tumour. It all went downhill very fast. We were on our way up to see him (they live 5 hours away from us) to essentially say goodbye, when mum rang and told me he'd passed. I think he did it on purpose because it would have just been too hard. We are both the type to avoid big emotional situations. I just wish i could have seen him one more time and i regret every day not going up the day before. My mum gad rang that afternoon saying it didn't look good. Ds1 was cranky and needed a sleep and it would have been lateby the time we got there, visiting hours would have been over. So we left early the next day. Just didn't make it in time.
    We had been told he had a few months but i think he'd just had enough of the pain and decided he wanted to go.

    I think it's absurd he has to wait so long. The hospital down here stuffed my dad around too. He was of the impression that because he was a smoker he wasn't a priority. I think now it's because there was no hope so they didn't rush. They even told him his cancer was a different type to the one he had.
    I'm so disillusioned by the medical system in our country.
    Really? That's terrible? My brother is a smoker too. He lives in the hunter region so not great resources I think. I wish I could take him to Sydney but I'm one of 6 kids & many of my siblings live up there, including his kids & his twin, so he's where he needs to be. I don't know how I'm going to work next week. How do you go on as normal?

  15. #29
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    Quote Originally Posted by ertgirl View Post
    Really? That's terrible? My brother is a smoker too. He lives in the hunter region so not great resources I think. I wish I could take him to Sydney but I'm one of 6 kids & many of my siblings live up there, including his kids & his twin, so he's where he needs to be. I don't know how I'm going to work next week. How do you go on as normal?
    It's been almost 5 months and i still get teary evey day. But i have not allowed myself to really cry, I'm scared to, plus i don't have any me time lately. I'm very distracted by my sons. Back to work soon so with life being busy busy busy i guess that's the key. Not sure what normal is anymore!
    Being far away is the worst. You never know if thr last time you see them is going to be the actual last time 😢

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    Well we just got the news we weren't wanting to hear. They've given him a couple of months at most. He cannot move his legs at all, not even a centimetre. He is scheduled for a bone scan but the oncologist is sure it has gone to his bones & bowel also. I'm heartbroken for him, surely losing a 10 week old to SIDS is enough suffering for one person. Im heartbroken for my mum because no one should watch their child go, I'm heartbroken for my son because at just 3 he probably won't remember this beautiful, gentle man with a quirky sense of humour who is his uncle & I'm heartbroken for me because I love my big brother & I'm nowhere near ready to say goodbye.

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    Kaybaby  (29-01-2016)


 

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