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  1. #1
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    Default Raising kids without body issues

    Found this great article today on raising girls without body image issues becoming a problem.

    I think many of the principles (don't let your hang ups rub off on your kids) could be applied to mothers if boys as well.

    https://www.facebook.com/lovewhatrea...316469/?type=3

    Enjoy - hope the article helps

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  3. #2
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    Unfortunately in my experience, peer pressure and comments can have a devastating effect and can undo any good work on body image done by parents.

    I have a DD is stick thin and she truly believes she is fat. It all started when a friend at school (and I use that term loosely because she is a bully) told DD she had a big bum. No amount of reassurance from me (eg showing her where she sits on growth charts) has been able to change her mind.

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    It definitely could apply to boys as well - especially the bit about learning how to cook kale 😜

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    Quote Originally Posted by SSecret Squirrel View Post
    Unfortunately in my experience, peer pressure and comments can have a devastating effect and can undo any good work on body image done by parents.

    I have a DD is stick thin and she truly believes she is fat. It all started when a friend at school (and I use that term loosely because she is a bully) told DD she had a big bum. No amount of reassurance from me (eg showing her where she sits on growth charts) has been able to change her mind.
    My experience is the same. I can do all these things ( and I try to do most) but what happens at school and at their fathers place is hard to counteract.

    The things that are said at school by peers and by their step sister and step mother do so much damage to their self-esteem and body image.

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    Quote Originally Posted by SSecret Squirrel View Post
    Unfortunately in my experience, peer pressure and comments can have a devastating effect and can undo any good work on body image done by parents.

    I have a DD is stick thin and she truly believes she is fat. It all started when a friend at school (and I use that term loosely because she is a bully) told DD she had a big bum. No amount of reassurance from me (eg showing her where she sits on growth charts) has been able to change her mind.
    That's so sad... And having a big bum shouldn't be a bad thing anyway.

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    Default Raising kids without body issues

    Quote Originally Posted by SSecret Squirrel View Post
    Unfortunately in my experience, peer pressure and comments can have a devastating effect and can undo any good work on body image done by parents.

    I have a DD is stick thin and she truly believes she is fat. It all started when a friend at school (and I use that term loosely because she is a bully) told DD she had a big bum. No amount of reassurance from me (eg showing her where she sits on growth charts) has been able to change her mind.
    Your poor DD.. Not sure how I would have dealt with such a situation.
    I think the article was getting at starting young and not even entertaining conversations with your child about body shape and size? Focusing on 'inside stuff' (being nice, helpful, a good friend, looking healthy etc). Easier said than done in some cases I suppose...

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    Thanks VicPark, for posting the article. We try to promote resilience in our children. My eldest son has a visible physical 'defect': well, not in my eyes, since the moment he was born, we have made it no big deal. Nearly 10 yrs later, after some bumps in the road, including some tears, i know ds is resilient, caring and talented too. I hope we're doing the best job we can as parents... its a tough gig negotiating these issues of self esteem, body image, peer pressure, bullying... we try to navigate thru these things by finding a positive message.

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    Subbing for later. Unfortunately my 15yo DSS has body image issues. I've never seen this with boys but it certainly can and does happen. It's difficult. I'll read later when I'm home.

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    In essence I like the article, but I also think that never complimenting your child on their looks could be damaging. I don't focus on their looks, and we talk about how it's on the inside that counts, and fueling our body with good food and looking after ourselves so that we can do all the active things we like to do. We talk about liking our bodies for what they provide us with, we talk about the changes that happen during puberty, how genetics provides people with different body shapes etc. but I still tell my kids they are beautiful etc. because I think it's potentially damaging to never compliment someone on their looks. Maybe I'm just stuck in the dark ages, but so far all of my children have great body confidence, even through bodily changes caused by puberty...talking among other parents its all 'closed doors, die of embarrassment if mum or dad accidentally walks in them before they're fully dressed' type stuff, but my kids walk around naked and proudly point out the changes that are happening to their body to us. I hope their confidence in themselves continues through the teenage years.

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  14. #10
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    Thank you for sharing. As a woman with terrible body image, I often worry how this will affect my girls. I try not to ever mention my weight in front of them.

    My issues came from my dad, who always commented on people we saw on tv. He has a very warped view of what is overweight. I very clearly remember him watching neighbours and saying 'how did that fat chick get on there?' He was talking about Holly Valance. Crazy!! My first boyfriend constantly told me (a size 10) that I was fat. So, as mentioned by PP, it comes from parents and peers. Unfortunately we can't control what their peers say, but I still hope to raise strong, confident girls.

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