+ Reply to Thread
Page 1 of 3 123 LastLast
Results 1 to 10 of 27
  1. #1
    Join Date
    Sep 2015
    Posts
    111
    Thanks
    26
    Thanked
    44
    Reviews
    0

    Default Nervous about holding newborn..

    Hi all..
    I'm 20, 27 weeks and a FTM... I don't have any pre-pregnancy friends.. I have made friends with some expectant mums and already mums.. Two of my new found friends have had their babies in December and January.. I caught up with one of the ladies today and met her new little man for the first time (3 weeks old)... She already has two other children and was quite confident in letting me hold the newborn.. I however was not so confident.. I've never held a baby so young/small before.. Of course I wanted to.. I had the urge to just grab and snuggle but my anxieties held me back... I'm not worried that this will be a problem when my own little lady arrives... however my husband said I had embarrassed him (he has five other children) by not taking the baby straight away.. After we parted ways (I ended up having a hold of the little Bub with no worries) and my husband and I were alone, he told me it's not normal to feel nervous about holding a baby and I needed to speak to somebody.. He said he's worried that it may grow into not even being able to breastfeed or have the 'mothering nature' that should come naturally.. I tried to explain to him that I did WANT to hold the bub and it was just a feeling of nervousness but he insists that its not normal...
    When I was holding the baby it felt completely normal and natural and my anxieties fell away..
    I don't know how to convey this to my husband to make him feel better..
    Any advice?
    Is it abnormal? Should I speak to a professional??
    Thanks, Bits..

  2. #2
    Join Date
    Jul 2015
    Posts
    6,869
    Thanks
    4,776
    Thanked
    4,210
    Reviews
    0
    Achievements:Topaz Star - 500 postsAmber Star - 2,000 postsAmethyst Star - 5,000 posts
    Awards:
    100 Posts in a week

    Default Nervous about holding newborn..

    your husband is being ridiculous. a bit of anxiety is totally normal. I hate it when people offer me a hold of their bub, esp if I'm standing up! I'm always terrified I'll drop the baby! esp the smaller they are, the worse the anxiety!

    I'll be the same with my own I'm sure (currently 35 weeks). we have stairs at home and I'm freaking out already how to get up and down stairs with bub as I like to hold the railing when I go up and down.

    the fear is probably a little irrational but stems from inexperience and a fear of hurting something so little.

    you'll get over it once bub arrives, as I'm sure I will. I think your husband is being a bit intolerant towards you.
    Last edited by turquoisecoast; 23-01-2016 at 20:40.

  3. The Following 3 Users Say Thank You to turquoisecoast For This Useful Post:

    binnielici  (24-01-2016),KitiK  (24-01-2016),Wise Enough  (24-01-2016)

  4. #3
    Join Date
    Sep 2007
    Location
    Mackay
    Posts
    6,275
    Thanks
    809
    Thanked
    2,399
    Reviews
    1
    Achievements:Topaz Star - 500 postsAmber Star - 2,000 postsAmethyst Star - 5,000 posts
    Awards:
    100 Posts in a week
    Quote Originally Posted by turquoisecoast View Post
    your husband is being ridiculous. a bit of anxiety is totally normal. I hate it when people offer me a hold of their bub, esp if I'm standing up! I'm always terrified I'll drop the baby! esp the smaller they are, the worse the anxiety!

    I'll be the same with my own I'm sure (currently 35 weeks). we have stairs at home and I'm freaking out already how to get up and down stairs with bub as I like to hold the railing when I go up and down.

    the fear is probably a little irrational but stems from inexperience and a fear of hurting something so little.

    you'll get over it once bub arrives, as I'm sure I will. I think your husband is being a bit intolerant towards you.
    This! Hell I have 4 soon to be 5 of my own and still freak out about holding other peoples little babies! My own though... No dramas at all.

  5. The Following 9 Users Say Thank You to SheWarrior For This Useful Post:

    binnielici  (24-01-2016),DarcyJ  (26-01-2016),Gentoo  (23-01-2016),GrabbyCrabby  (26-01-2016),Green Cheese  (23-01-2016),KitiK  (24-01-2016),LoveLivesHere  (24-01-2016),Nemmi1987  (24-01-2016),turquoisecoast  (23-01-2016)

  6. #4
    Join Date
    Sep 2013
    Posts
    588
    Thanks
    58
    Thanked
    348
    Reviews
    0
    Achievements:Topaz Star - 500 posts
    I think totally normal! How are you supposed to feel comfortable instantly with something you have never experienced before? You will be fine when your own DD arrives. Hopefully the midwives in your hospital will give you lots of help and practical advice with feeding, changing, bathing, settling etc. Remember it's ok to ask them for help if you're not sure of what to do.
    I come from a big extended family so had been around lots of babies. DH had never held a baby let alone a newborn until we had DD and he was a perfectly competent father from Day 1.

  7. #5
    ~Marigold~'s Avatar
    ~Marigold~ is offline You make me happy, when skies are grey
    Join Date
    Nov 2011
    Location
    Melbourne
    Posts
    7,039
    Thanks
    9,662
    Thanked
    4,985
    Reviews
    7
    Achievements:Topaz Star - 500 postsAmber Star - 2,000 postsAmethyst Star - 5,000 posts
    There's nothing abnormal about your initial hesitation at all. Holding someone else's tiny, precious newborn, no matter how many kids you have /have not held previously, can be a nerve racking, daunting experience! Completely normal OP. This does not reflect on your ability to breast feed/love /hold your own child at all.
    Maybe your hubby should "see someone" o_0

  8. The Following 10 Users Say Thank You to ~Marigold~ For This Useful Post:

    amyd  (24-01-2016),BettyV  (26-01-2016),BettyW  (24-01-2016),DarcyJ  (26-01-2016),Gentoo  (23-01-2016),gingermillie  (23-01-2016),LoveLivesHere  (24-01-2016),Nemmi1987  (24-01-2016),turquoisecoast  (23-01-2016),Wise Enough  (24-01-2016)

  9. #6
    Join Date
    Jul 2015
    Location
    Sunshine Coast
    Posts
    2,963
    Thanks
    2,383
    Thanked
    2,071
    Reviews
    0
    Achievements:Topaz Star - 500 postsAmber Star - 2,000 posts
    I am almost 34 weeks along with my 3rd, how ever it's been 10 years in between rodeos lol...though I can tell you when I had my first daughter, I was very nervous and scared about picking her up. But babies are tougher than they look...you won't break bubs

  10. The Following User Says Thank You to Marchbundle For This Useful Post:

    GrabbyCrabby  (26-01-2016)

  11. #7
    Join Date
    Feb 2012
    Posts
    143
    Thanks
    50
    Thanked
    84
    Reviews
    0
    Nothing wrong with how you feel at all. I never held babies before my own, but once I had DD it was just natural. Even now that DD is 3, I still don't hold other babies.

  12. The Following User Says Thank You to bluehawaii For This Useful Post:

    gingermillie  (23-01-2016)

  13. #8
    Join Date
    Jan 2012
    Posts
    2,730
    Thanks
    1,522
    Thanked
    1,960
    Reviews
    0
    Achievements:Topaz Star - 500 postsAmber Star - 2,000 posts
    Your husband's being a ****.
    You're about to have his baby. He should be trying to understand your point of view and support you, even if he doesn't feel the same way...not making you feel abnormal and telling you that you embarrassed him!

  14. The Following 4 Users Say Thank You to Renn For This Useful Post:

    BettyV  (26-01-2016),BettyW  (24-01-2016),JustJaq  (23-01-2016),KitiK  (24-01-2016)

  15. #9
    Join Date
    Dec 2015
    Posts
    250
    Thanks
    30
    Thanked
    205
    Reviews
    0
    Quote Originally Posted by turquoisecoast View Post
    your husband is being ridiculous. a bit of anxiety is totally normal. I hate it when people offer me a hold of their bub, esp if I'm standing up! I'm always terrified I'll drop the baby! esp the smaller they are, the worse the anxiety!
    I agree.

    I'm a midwife, so hold babies all day everyday - but even I was a little bit nervous holding my best friend's new baby for the first time!!!

  16. #10
    Join Date
    Feb 2015
    Posts
    2,057
    Thanks
    2,308
    Thanked
    1,390
    Reviews
    0
    Achievements:Topaz Star - 500 postsAmber Star - 2,000 posts
    Quote Originally Posted by bluehawaii View Post
    Nothing wrong with how you feel at all. I never held babies before my own, but once I had DD it was just natural. Even now that DD is 3, I still don't hold other babies.
    Me too!


 

Similar Threads

  1. Holding breath
    By DT75 in forum School aged children
    Replies: 0
    Last Post: 07-04-2015, 10:29
  2. Almost 3 yr old holding it in
    By yadot in forum Constipation, Toilet Training
    Replies: 4
    Last Post: 01-04-2015, 17:40
  3. TT-holding on to wee
    By mandmbaby in forum Constipation, Toilet Training
    Replies: 3
    Last Post: 03-02-2015, 13:03

Posting Permissions

  • You may not post new threads
  • You may not post replies
  • You may not post attachments
  • You may not edit your posts
free weekly newsletters | sign up now!
who are these people who write great posts? meet our hubbub authors!
Learn how you can contribute to the hubbub!

reviews
learn how you can become a reviewer!

competitions

forum - chatting now
christmas gift guidesee all Red Stocking
Riverton Leisureplex
An Extreme Family Pass at Riverton Leisureplex is the ultimate way to cool off during the summer school holidays. The $30 Pass allows pool and waterslide access for 2 adults and 2 children, as well as a drink, popcorn and an icy pole for each person.
sales & new stuffsee all
True Fairies
True Fairies is the first interactive website where children can engage and speak with a real fairy through the unique webcam fairy portal. Each session is tailored to the child, and is filled with enchantment and magic.
Visit website to find out more!
featured supporter
The Fix Program Sydney CBD and Broadway
Pregnancy and women's health physio, pregnancy and new mum Pilates classes taught by our physios for you and bub. Pregnancy back and pelvic pain. Also, we treat postnatal and women of all ages. Incontinence, prolapse, sexual and pelvic pain.
gotcha
X

Pregnant for the first-time?

Not sure where to start? We can help!

Our Insider Programs for pregnancy first-timers will lead you step-by-step through the 14 Pregnancy Must Dos!