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  1. #11
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    I thought it was important until we had a child together, now it seems totally insignificant - we've already made a public, life-long commitment to one another by having a baby. Also I hate parties, and gifts, and fancy dress so weddings aren't particularly appealing to me
    But what's important in my or anyone else's relationship is completely irrelevant to your own! I hope you and your partner can work it out.

  2. #12
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    I think marriage is important to me as it's a signal of a firm commitment. I don't know how i'd feel having kids (my first at least!!) if I wasn't married to dh.

    weddings themselves I see as a little bit pointless. I look back at ours and it was lovely but it was a lot of fuss and money and for what, one day? but I think it's hard to go through the marriage process without somehow getting pressured into doing a wedding.

    for me, I felt married to dh even before the wedding. so my feelings and headspace didn't change after the wedding. but I'm glad we're married. I'm not sure any of this makes sense, not even to me, but I'm struggling to articulate it.

    bottom line, yes, marriage is important to me.

  3. #13
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    It was important to me - not for religious reasons, but I wanted to be married before we had a child. I wanted DH to be more than 'my boyfriend' - I just wanted that legal level of commitment.

    I do agree that having a child with someone is much more of a commitment than marriage. Once a child comes into any relationship, there's a serious tie to that other person.

    What other couples choose is their business and I have no judgement or views on what anyone else should do. There are many long term committed couples who will never marry and they are happier and more committed than many married folks!

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  5. #14
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    Quote Originally Posted by Mod-Degrassi View Post
    It was important to me - not for religious reasons, but I wanted to be married before we had a child. I wanted DH to be more than 'my boyfriend' - I just wanted that legal level of commitment.

    I do agree that having a child with someone is much more of a commitment than marriage. Once a child comes into any relationship, there's a serious tie to that other person.

    What other couples choose is their business and I have no judgement or views on what anyone else should do. There are many long term committed couples who will never marry and they are happier and more committed than many married folks!
    This ^^

  6. #15
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    not at all, happy to be single forever
    If I do ever repartner and decide to marry it'll be a registry office and bbq

  7. #16
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    It seemed important at the time and I'm happy to be married, but I can totally understand that it's not a necessity for, and certainly not a guarantee of, a long-term committed relationship. And likewise, marriage doesn't guarantee this either.

  8. #17
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    Funny that this topic should come up, my 2 year old asked me yesterday "why do you wear that ring" and I said "because daddy loves me" and I thought that sent a gifts = love message so tried to explain that mummy and daddy love each other very much and this ring shows that we love each other forever. Which got me thinking that if I didn't have this ring (i.e. We weren't married), would I love him any less or be less committed to him? Absolutely not, and same for him to me. So whilst I liked the idea of having a wedding at the time and I certainly don't regret marrying him, now that I've been married for 4+ years, marriage is just not that much of a big deal to me. I know plenty of people who lead similar lives to us and are just as happy not being married.

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  10. #18
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    It was never important to me until I met DH and especially after DD was born I just knew it was what I wanted but can not really explain why. Having said all that my parents didn't get married until I was 22 so that could be why marriage never seemed important to me when I was younger.

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    Not important at all. Marriage guarantees nothing and in my own personal opinion the commitment is not anymore valid then one of couples who are not married (or legally can not be married). Signing a bit of paper does not mean you are anymore committed than someone who chooses to be in a long term relationship. Love, commitment, respect, honesty and the hell bent idea that you are going to make it work through thick and thin comes from the heart and soul.
    However if it's very important to you and not important to your partner than why not do something that means a lot to your other half. If it's a just a bit of paper to him then sign the paper to keep you happy.

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    It was very important to me. I explained to my now husband that it was the deliberateness of choosing to get married that appealed to me... You can't just 'fall in' to a marriage but you can fall into a relationship/living together.

    I wanted to deliberately make a decision that this was the person I wanted to spend the rest of my life with, rather than being the person I sort of fell into a relationship with.

    You can do that without marriage but for me/us that was how we chose to make that commitment.

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