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  1. #31
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    @mummymaybe - another post also reminded me of my bracelet charm that I wear. It's a silver heart with my daughters hand and footprints on it. A company called Smallprints ( in Qld) did it for me. It was an easy process. I sent them a photo of the hand and footprints which had been taken in plaster and they were able to make the charm from that.

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    mummymaybe  (26-01-2016)

  3. #32
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    Default *trigger warning* preparing for stillbirth

    Oh hon I'm so sorry. I saw your previous post and I was hoping it wouldn't turn out this way. We terminated a pregnancy in March last year at 22 weeks.

    What you need to pack depends on whether you stay in the hospital with your baby overnight. You're going to go through labour pretty much like any other labour so bring anything you would bring for that. So change of clothes, maxi pads, anything to help you through labour etc.

    As you're 24 weeks I assume you'll get the needle beforehand to ease your baby on? At 22 weeks I didn't have that and my boy lived for three hours. Just be prepared if you're not getting the needle that that might happen.

    When you get there ask for a social worker. They'll help you plan the funeral and counselling etc.

    If you don't want your milk to come in there's pills you can take to stop it. They may not even think of this but it was a lifesaver for me. I'd call ahead to check they have some in stock. And if you want that, demand it.

    Make sure your husband is fully aware of what's about to happen and the process. Mine stuck his head in the sand beforehand and was completely blindsided.

    You're going to love your little baby like any other baby. That's why you're taking their pain for them. Angel bubs are beautiful, strong little fighters. We didn't use heartfelt but the social worker took pictures for us. I'd consider calling heartfelt. You'll want those pictures.

    Can I PM you with the names of some Facebook groups? All closed groups, some for stillbirth in general and one for TFMR specifically. They have helped me more than anything else.
    Last edited by Sally1981; 24-01-2016 at 09:34.

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  5. #33
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    Oh Luv....I'm so, so sorry for all of you!! How bloody devastating & heartbreaking!!!😢

    So frucking unfair!!! Know that I'm thinking of you all & will be sending prayers to the Universe too plus an extra special one for bubxoxo

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    mummymaybe  (26-01-2016)

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    I just want to say how deeply sorry I am for your precious little angel. You will be in my thoughts xxx

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  9. #35
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    Quote Originally Posted by Sally1981 View Post
    Oh hon I'm so sorry. I saw your previous post and I was hoping it wouldn't turn out this way. We terminated a pregnancy in March last year at 22 weeks.

    What you need to pack depends on whether you stay in the hospital with your baby overnight. You're going to go through labour pretty much like any other labour so bring anything you would bring for that. So change of clothes, maxi pads, anything to help you through labour etc.

    As you're 24 weeks I assume you'll get the needle beforehand to ease your baby on? At 22 weeks I didn't have that and my boy lived for three hours. Just be prepared if you're not getting the needle that that might happen.

    When you get there ask for a social worker. They'll help you plan the funeral and counselling etc.

    If you don't want your milk to come in there's pills you can take to stop it. They may not even think of this but it was a lifesaver for me. I'd call ahead to check they have some in stock. And if you want that, demand it.

    Make sure your husband is fully aware of what's about to happen and the process. Mine stuck his head in the sand beforehand and was completely blindsided.

    You're going to love your little baby like any other baby. That's why you're taking their pain for them. Angel bubs are beautiful, strong little fighters. We didn't use heartfelt but the social worker took pictures for us. I'd consider calling heartfelt. You'll want those pictures.

    Can I PM you with the names of some Facebook groups? All closed groups, some for stillbirth in general and one for TFMR specifically. They have helped me more than anything else.
    Yes you are correct, our little boy will be sleeping when he is born.

    The Facebook groups would be great thank you.

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    Quote Originally Posted by mummymaybe View Post
    Yes you are correct, our little boy will be sleeping when he is born.

    The Facebook groups would be great thank you.
    I sent you a PM xx

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    Quote Originally Posted by mummymaybe View Post
    Yes you are correct, our little boy will be sleeping when he is born.

    The Facebook groups would be great thank you.
    I sent you a PM xx

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    Oh. I'm so sorry. I know we've chatted for a bit. Sending hugs. xo

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  14. #39
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    Devastated to read this news. Sending love and light to you OP, and to the other posters who have bravely shared their experiences.

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    Default *trigger warning* preparing for stillbirth

    What an awful thing to face. Losing a baby is one of the hardest things you'll ever face. Depending on where you deliver will depend on services offered.

    Absolutely get hand and footprints taken. Even if you don't want to look at them straight away, you'll have them for when you do.

    Absolutely get photos taken. If you don't want them straight away then you can always put them away for later. For what it's worth we keep all our photos indefinitely. We've had a woman call up in tears after she lost her baby photos in a house move. We were able to put them on a CD for her, even though her baby was born sleeping years before. Regardless of professional photographer, get the midwives to take some too.

    Ask if there's a bereavement midwive/team. They will be able to provide you with insurmountable emotional support as well as practice support. They'll be able to help you wade through the paperwork, as will the social workers.

    Your baby will look perfect, just tiny. He may be quite red in colour, but that's just because he's early. Depending on how long he's been sleeping before he's born will affect the integrity of his skin. Their skin is so fragile so they can get skin tears so easily. But the midwives should be very good at gently wrapping baby to 'hide' the worst of it for when you first see bub, but should also be good at explaining to you exactly what bub looks like so you're not surprised/shocked by anything.

    At 24weeks the umbilical cord is so fragile. They will likely give you a syntocinon injection at delivery to help the placenta separate, but as its so delicate we can't use cord traction to help deliver the placenta at risk of the cord snapping. There is a higher risk of retained placenta because of this.

    To bring to hospital:
    - warm clothes
    - anything you want for baby ie a toy to go with baby wherever he goes, a nice wrap you want him wrapped in etc.

    To stop your milk coming in, ask for Dostinex. Also, firm supportive bras (wire free) and as little breast stimulation as possible afterwards.

    Baby can stay with you as long as you like. Hopefully you'll have access to a cold cot so you can keep baby in your room all the time (if that's what you want). It's a special cot to help keep babies core temp down so that he stays in the best condition possible for you.

    You will also need to organize a funeral for baby. It will be one of the hardest things you do, but unfortunately is necessary.

    If you have any questions, please feel free to PM me. I haven't done any bereavement work for awhile, but I'll help you as much as I can. x

    ETA if there's anyone you want to meet bub, let them know. People won't want to come and see you from fear of you not wanting to see them. If it's important to you, tell them so they can prepare themselves too.
    Last edited by M'LadyEm; 24-01-2016 at 21:15.

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