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  1. #1
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    Default Clingy 16mo and working full time

    I've just returned to full time work
    and ds has been home with his dad and 2 days childcare. Next week he's going to 3 days cc and will be with his grandparents 2 days every week.

    Ds is really clingy at the moment which I think is because I'm not home as much but could also be his age. He just wants me to hold him all morning while I'm trying to get ready for work :/ he has started becoming hard to put to bed as he wont let me put him down and is waking really early wanting to be up and with me. We tried co sleeping last night to help him a bit but unfortunately he just won't sleep in our bed - it's just play time.

    Can anyone offer any tips on this big change/transition period and how to help him through? As soon as I'm home from work I spend all my time with him 1 on 1 but he's still struggling. The tantrums are also starting up and with do back at work full time next week I'm a bit worried about how he will handle it. It's really hard on me, of course mummy guilt is factoring in too 😔.

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    It will take time for him to get used to it.

    My suggestion is to remind him constantly how much you love him and dedicate 30min every morning and afternoon to him. As in just him. Wake up earlier if you have to.

    Tell him showing a clock of when you will be home. If possible draw him a picture at work for him to put up near his bed. Give him a photo of you on a non destructible frame for him to carry around.

    It will take time.

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    Pearlygirl  (22-01-2016)

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    Thanks R&A. The photo is a great idea which I hadn't thought of. I already get up and spend about a half hour 1 on 1 in the morning and then 2 hours before bed with him every night too. DH just brought him in for lunch and he cried when I left poor bubby 😔.

    I guess it's hard adjustment for everyone.

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    It is hard. Especially when you combine toddler antics into the mix. When dh was posted overseas we used a photo for girls to look at. They carried it in their daycare bags, had another near their beds and it helped them I think

    Good luck.

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    Pearlygirl  (22-01-2016)

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    Pearlygirl my DS2 is the same age and just started 3 days a week childcare a couple of weeks ago. He is exactly the same as you describe! He also screams like crazy every time I drop him off at childcare, although they say he settles down quickly now and is pretty happy during the day.
    But when I put him to bed he clings to me and won't let me put him in his cot. We co-sleep for about half the night which I would prefer not to, but that's a topic for another thread!
    I think we just have to push through, they will get used to the routine and form closer bonds with their other carers and things will settle down. Sucks having to work sometimes. But it is nice to be able to enjoy a hot cup of coffee!

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    DS has been at full time daycare since he was 4-5 months old. He's always been fine to drop off.
    All of a sudden in the last couple of weeks he has become clingy and also demonstrating what I think seems like anxiety about being left at daycare.
    We've kept the routine the same as possible.
    DH takes him to daycare. They walk into the centre (we've found if he walks himself rather than being carried he's better), sign him in, put his bag and drink bottle away and then clearly say goodbye and give him a kiss and wave goodbye.
    The centre suggested we don't try and wait to leave until he's distracted. But brightly say goodbye and we'll be back later, and go.
    Within a couple of weeks, he's back to being fine getting dropped off.
    Daycare suggested consistency and other than that, we have to ride it out.
    Not much comfort I'm sure.
    Good luck. It's not easy

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    Rose&Aurelia&Hannah  (23-01-2016)


 

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