You need to do a pros and cons list of leaving. Bc I don't see a single pro to staying in this marriage. Not one. Ironically you will probably be more financially independent on your own with a decent amount of CS and CL than having no access to any money now. You may be literally single without support, but you are essentially single now anyway - except you have this jerk still living in your house.
Be strong for your kids. Bc they are clearly desperate for you to leave. Leaving will be hard, but it can't possibly be harder than staying?