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  1. #51
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    Quote Originally Posted by RuffledPansy View Post
    I know how you feel ...
    It all seems just too daunting. ..I'm so lost and alone ....
    You might not want your kids to grow up in a single parent household but I would rather that than what you've got now, and do would your kids

  2. #52
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    I've been a single mum, it's a tough gig, but I can tell you right now, I would rather be on my own with the kids than in an unhappy marriage. I go to councelling now to raise my self esteem, I still have next to no confidence, but most of my issues were caused from parents who don't really give a f@ck. I just got news that my mum and stepdad are awaiting the birth of my stepsister's baby in a couple of weeks, but couldn't give a f@ck about her own daughter's baby (mine's due early march)...

    What ever the issue, we just have to rise above it...you and your kids deserve so much better, life is too short to be unhappy. You have it in you to break free and rise above your husband's crap.

  3. #53
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    I really feel for you, OP.

    Something i've noticed you do in every thread about your marriage is doubt yourself. Doubt what you feel you know you should do. So much that you struggle to even acknowledge the encouragement you recieve here. This is by no means a criticism of you so please don't take it that way.

    There isn't any point in telling you to leave him again. But know if you choose to take that path you have support available a Google click away.

    If loving someone and being loved is that important to you, you'll never give yourself that chance if you stay with him. You have a choice. Which one do you want? And don't sit there thinking about it for hours. And don't think about what you wish you had. Think about the realistic options you have now. Only you can give yourself the chance to be happy. You deserve it. Screw what he thinks or says. You are more than what he thinks of you!!!

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  5. #54
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    Quote Originally Posted by RuffledPansy View Post
    I know how you feel ...
    It all seems just too daunting. ..I'm so lost and alone ....
    You might not want your kids to grow up in a single parent household but I would rather that than what you've got now, and do would your kids

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    VicPark  (24-01-2016)

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    Quote Originally Posted by BigRedV View Post
    You might not want your kids to grow up in a single parent household but I would rather that than what you've got now, and do would your kids
    Yes! It's better for kids to have a great single parent family than a double parent family with crappy dynamics.

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  9. #56
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    Like I said I know what you all are say is so so true ....I have no one ...no family no friends....no one to talk to that why I'm constantly on her asking for comfort a ear....I guess that's why it's so so hard ...I feel like if this doesn't work my marriage that I am a failure as a wife as a Mother not being able to give my kids a home with both of their parents in it living happily....
    I am embarrassed to go down that path ...but I do know deep down that it will inevitably end that way ...

  10. #57
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    ~Marigold~ is offline You make me happy, when skies are grey
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    Quote Originally Posted by RuffledPansy View Post
    Like I said I know what you all are say is so so true ....I have no one ...no family no friends....no one to talk to that why I'm constantly on her asking for comfort a ear....I guess that's why it's so so hard ...I feel like if this doesn't work my marriage that I am a failure as a wife as a Mother not being able to give my kids a home with both of their parents in it living happily....
    I am embarrassed to go down that path ...but I do know deep down that it will inevitably end that way ...
    You'll be a selfless goddess in the eyes of your children if you take them away from the toxicity. They will fare so much better if they are no longer subjected to the crap going on between their parents.
    There's no shame in wanting better for yourself and your children, either. Would you rather you feel embarrassed (even though you should not) or your kids continue to witness a broken relationship and a very unhappy mother?
    You haven't failed your family, your husband has.
    Last edited by ~Marigold~; 24-01-2016 at 19:04.

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    Quote Originally Posted by BigRedV View Post
    You might not want your kids to grow up in a single parent household but I would rather that than what you've got now, and do would your kids
    This resonates with me a little.

    My parents were never happy together. My father has MH issues but he was also controlling and emotionally abusive towards my mum.

    My mum recently said to me that 'she stayed until we were old enough'. Honestly, staying together and being unhappy affected me a lot. I knew they weren't happy. I was so stressed from home that my grades at school plummeted. And yes, I rebelled. I honestly think I would've been happier if they just called it quits earlier.

    And there is support for you. At worst you have support here and a DV support centre can also help you through.

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  14. #59
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    Quote Originally Posted by RuffledPansy View Post
    Like I said I know what you all are say is so so true ....I have no one ...no family no friends....no one to talk to that why I'm constantly on her asking for comfort a ear....I guess that's why it's so so hard ...I feel like if this doesn't work my marriage that I am a failure as a wife as a Mother not being able to give my kids a home with both of their parents in it living happily....
    I am embarrassed to go down that path ...but I do know deep down that it will inevitably end that way ...
    When i first told my mum i wanted to leave my exhusband she said can't you co exist? And at least he doesn't hit you...she told me that i don't deserve happiness and that she wouldn't ever watch the kids...called me a bad mother because i put my kids in a child minding facility in the rsl for a few hours so i could have a break one night for 3 hours...the same woman palmed me off for three months when i was 8, so her and my father could go on an overseas holiday....

    The point is, you might not have the support of family or others but you have this strength within you...you can do it. Save money, go to real estates apply for rentals, explain your situation...i had no rental history as i had been a defence spouse living in defence housing. Now i have an excellent tenant record.

    You can do it. It's hard on your own. I cried a lot, fell into a depression but my kids got me through it..they needed me. I still suffer from depression and have **** days but my DP has helped me a lot and we are expecting. Life is always changing and is too short to be UNHAPPY.
    Last edited by Marchbundle; 24-01-2016 at 19:30.

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  16. #60
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    When I was planning on leaving and applying for rentals, I wrote and attached a personal letter explaining my situation because I didn't think as an unemployed, single mum of two I'd be given a place.. I outlined my circumstances and swallowed my pride.


 

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