@RuffledPansy I mean this with the kindest of hearts but I think you should seek professional help with these decisions. Something is clearly not right in your marriage if your husband says if you leave him he'd be better off because he could go to bars. The fact your eldest 3 want nothing to do with him.
These are alarm bells. You're worried about how you'd survive without him. That's normal. With the right support and help you will be ok.
One of the happiest things I remember from my family law days was watching women come in for help with divorces who were miserable and depressed transform into strong confident single women (with a lot of help on the way through) once they came to realise how much better they were without their spouses.
No one on the Internet can tell you what to do. Please take the steps to get some professional help so even if you decide to stay you do so on terms you can live with.