+ Reply to Thread
Page 2 of 30 FirstFirst 123412 ... LastLast
Results 11 to 20 of 295
  1. #11
    ~Marigold~'s Avatar
    ~Marigold~ is offline You make me happy, when skies are grey
    Join Date
    Nov 2011
    Location
    Melbourne
    Posts
    7,039
    Thanks
    9,662
    Thanked
    4,985
    Reviews
    7
    Achievements:Topaz Star - 500 postsAmber Star - 2,000 postsAmethyst Star - 5,000 posts
    Quote Originally Posted by RuffledPansy View Post
    Has anyone had a **** of a marriage 90% of the time and can't deal with the hurt and pain and emotional effect it has on you and don't know what to do or if you can do or should I say have the strength to do anything...because it hurts too much and want the hurt to go away ...
    What is keeping you from leaving? Genuine question.
    OP you have been unhappy for years now. Almost every post you make screams this. And all at the hands of your husband.
    I hope you find the strength required to leave. Don't let this beat you.
    - Coming from someone who stayed unhappy way too long. I know your inner dialogue and I know how feeling stuck sucks the absolute life out of you.
    You are stronger than you know.

  2. The Following 9 Users Say Thank You to ~Marigold~ For This Useful Post:

    delirium  (24-01-2016),gingermillie  (19-01-2016),GirlsRock  (20-01-2016),Happymum2  (19-01-2016),MrsSS  (19-01-2016),Sonja  (19-01-2016),SSecret Squirrel  (19-01-2016),VicPark  (20-01-2016),Wise Enough  (20-01-2016)

  3. #12
    Join Date
    Nov 2011
    Posts
    1,023
    Thanks
    173
    Thanked
    615
    Reviews
    0
    Achievements:Topaz Star - 500 posts
    Yeah
    .I have had an awful couple of years... separation and suicide. Not fun... I'm not good at being open with people in my life so I found counseling categorically amazing. Someone to talk to, who listens without judgment and helps you find your way through.
    Go to the GP and get a mental health plan. I have found that the community based counselors are best...my "real-life", less psychology.
    I am just about go back to my GP for a new plan as I'm struggling. I am also going to restart on anti - depressants...they just help lift the cloud for a bit and think a bit more clearly and rationally.

  4. #13
    Join Date
    Jun 2008
    Location
    NSW
    Posts
    2,354
    Thanks
    165
    Thanked
    531
    Reviews
    0
    Achievements:Topaz Star - 500 postsAmber Star - 2,000 posts
    I am so so scared and alone and he has now found himself in a position after all these years earning a good wage and rubs this in my face constantly saying that he will be able to spoil the kids and do alot more with them than I ever could when we split before ...I know what a broken home dose to kids and it breaks my heart that I have brought them into this life that we live I hate myself so much for it ...

  5. #14
    ~Marigold~'s Avatar
    ~Marigold~ is offline You make me happy, when skies are grey
    Join Date
    Nov 2011
    Location
    Melbourne
    Posts
    7,039
    Thanks
    9,662
    Thanked
    4,985
    Reviews
    7
    Achievements:Topaz Star - 500 postsAmber Star - 2,000 postsAmethyst Star - 5,000 posts
    Quote Originally Posted by RuffledPansy View Post
    I am so so scared and alone and he has now found himself in a position after all these years earning a good wage and rubs this in my face constantly saying that he will be able to spoil the kids and do alot more with them than I ever could when we split before ...I know what a broken home dose to kids and it breaks my heart that I have brought them into this life that we live I hate myself so much for it ...
    Don't listen to his threats. He's scared.
    It's not too late to take yourself and your kids out of the picture. It's never too late to start over.
    Don't beat yourself up for what he has subjected your children to. You are the victim, not the creator of the broken home.
    I STRONGLY recommend you call a women's DV helpline (it doesn't have to be physical)...they will guide you.

  6. #15
    Join Date
    Jun 2008
    Location
    NSW
    Posts
    2,354
    Thanks
    165
    Thanked
    531
    Reviews
    0
    Achievements:Topaz Star - 500 postsAmber Star - 2,000 posts
    Quote Originally Posted by seasun View Post
    Yes, it's been a tough few years full of rock bottoms. The first started when I received the worst news possible during a scan. My daughter had died full term and I was told I had to give birth to her. My lowest point was realising I still had to go through labour without an outcome, while grappling with the fact that she had died. How did I get through it? I'm still not sure. I just did. I didn't have a choice, it was the strangest experience knowing I couldn't back out of something so terrifying and horrible, and that I had a life of somewhat heartache ahead of me. It was a weird crossroad, one I was instantly aware of when I was told the news.
    I tried to focus on the process, and took myself out of my body completely, whilst trying to stay as present as possible. Come to think of it, I think a little part of me left forever that day. I don't think I have been quite in my body ever since...
    Those depths change you, even though life goes on and you find happiness again.
    Hope you are ok, and are able to see your way out of whatever you are dealing with xxx
    Wow I feel such a drama queen complaining about my problems....I am so sorry for your loss ... (((Hugs))))

  7. #16
    Join Date
    Oct 2015
    Posts
    1,008
    Thanks
    780
    Thanked
    774
    Reviews
    0
    Achievements:Topaz Star - 500 posts
    Quote Originally Posted by RuffledPansy View Post
    I am so so scared and alone and he has now found himself in a position after all these years earning a good wage and rubs this in my face constantly saying that he will be able to spoil the kids and do alot more with them than I ever could when we split before ...I know what a broken home dose to kids and it breaks my heart that I have brought them into this life that we live I hate myself so much for it ...
    The fact that he earns a great wage means CSA will ensure he will be paying a high amount of child support. The kids won't miss out when they are with you either.

    Yes, living in a happy home where both parents have a loving and respectful relationship is on average best for children. However, children experiencing their parents divorce is way better than them living in a home where both parents are fighting (or as I suspect in your case one parent is at the very least emotionally abusing the other).

    ETA I can guarantee that the kids are picking up on the tension in your marriage, even if you think they don't know, they do. Your home is already broken.

    I hope you find the strength to change your situation.
    Last edited by SSecret Squirrel; 19-01-2016 at 22:47.

  8. The Following 2 Users Say Thank You to SSecret Squirrel For This Useful Post:

    BlondeinBrisvegas  (20-01-2016),Tiny Dancer  (04-02-2016)

  9. #17
    Join Date
    Jun 2008
    Location
    NSW
    Posts
    2,354
    Thanks
    165
    Thanked
    531
    Reviews
    0
    Achievements:Topaz Star - 500 postsAmber Star - 2,000 posts
    I know that if I walked out tomorrow he wouldn't care he could live the life he wants he would be rubbing his hands together in excitement thinking of all the drinking and gambling he could do and not have to pay so much rent as we do now ...he could be at the club every night ....would bother him in the slightest

  10. #18
    Join Date
    Oct 2015
    Posts
    1,008
    Thanks
    780
    Thanked
    774
    Reviews
    0
    Achievements:Topaz Star - 500 posts
    Quote Originally Posted by RuffledPansy View Post
    I know that if I walked out tomorrow he wouldn't care he could live the life he wants he would be rubbing his hands together in excitement thinking of all the drinking and gambling he could do and not have to pay so much rent as we do now ...he could be at the club every night ....would bother him in the slightest
    Well, if he wants to destroy himself, let him.

    The kids will soon work out who the most stable parent is.

    ETA I hope I'm not coming across as harsh. The reality is that if you do split, his actions will not longer be of your concern. However, if he goes on drinking and gambling binges, I would be taking that into account when working out child custody ie it would mean they would be seeing him less possibly under supervision.
    Last edited by SSecret Squirrel; 19-01-2016 at 22:53.

  11. The Following 4 Users Say Thank You to SSecret Squirrel For This Useful Post:

    BlondeinBrisvegas  (20-01-2016),Sonja  (19-01-2016),Wise Enough  (20-01-2016),~Marigold~  (19-01-2016)

  12. #19
    Join Date
    Jun 2008
    Location
    NSW
    Posts
    2,354
    Thanks
    165
    Thanked
    531
    Reviews
    0
    Achievements:Topaz Star - 500 postsAmber Star - 2,000 posts
    I know that last time we split his work hid his bonuses in another account for him ...his bonus are monthly if he reaches budget and they can be up to a few thousand at a time ...he pockets than to him self now ...

  13. #20
    Join Date
    Jun 2008
    Location
    NSW
    Posts
    2,354
    Thanks
    165
    Thanked
    531
    Reviews
    0
    Achievements:Topaz Star - 500 postsAmber Star - 2,000 posts
    Our 3 eldest kids can't stand him now and know what he does and has done ...


 

Similar Threads

  1. Feel like the worst pet owner!!!
    By Hasselhoff in forum Pets
    Replies: 38
    Last Post: 29-08-2015, 17:37
  2. Worst Mother Award!
    By BabyBoo3 in forum General Parenting Tips, Advice & Chat
    Replies: 13
    Last Post: 28-02-2015, 18:48
  3. Tell me about your worst restaurant experience
    By SAgirl in forum General Chat
    Replies: 81
    Last Post: 15-02-2015, 21:07

Posting Permissions

  • You may not post new threads
  • You may not post replies
  • You may not post attachments
  • You may not edit your posts
free weekly newsletters | sign up now!
who are these people who write great posts? meet our hubbub authors!
Learn how you can contribute to the hubbub!

reviews
learn how you can become a reviewer!

competitions

forum - chatting now
christmas gift guidesee all Red Stocking
WaterWipes
Give your babies bottom a gift this Xmas! They are the only wipe made using just water and a drop of grapefruit seed extract and may help avoid nappy rash. Check out the great reviews on bubhub and see our website for more info and availability.
sales & new stuffsee all
Bub Hub Sales Listing
HAVING A SALE? Let parents know about it with a Bub Hub Sales listing. Listings are featured on our well trafficked Sales Page + selected randomly to appear on EVERY page
featured supporter
Vibe Natural Health
Your natural health care team for fertility, pregnancy, post natal and family health care. Our Naturopaths, Doctors, Osteopaths, Acupuncturists, Psychologists,Nutritionists, Pilates, & Massage specialise in women & children's health and wellbeing.
gotcha
X

Pregnant for the first-time?

Not sure where to start? We can help!

Our Insider Programs for pregnancy first-timers will lead you step-by-step through the 14 Pregnancy Must Dos!