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  1. #171
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    I think deep down this really isn't about revenge or sticking it to him. You say you have evidence he has booked the trip (and therefore paid for it) so you could confront him now. There isn't really anymore evidence in April than there is now.

    It's about a fear of coping on your own, emotionally and financially. You are too scared to leave so you continue to shift the goal posts further and further back, hoping he will redeem himself or prove you wrong so you don't have to leave.

    Having your son there to protect you while confronting him is a really bad idea and is not fair on him. If you won't leave before his holiday, do it while he is gone. Who cares about revenge, don't put yourself and your kids at risk for a man that probably won't try and apologise or win you back even when he knows he's busted; instead just becoming violent.

    I know you are hoping he won't go, that he'll come clean or beg for your forgiveness. It won't happen. He will go on his little holiday, get up to all kinds of mischief, then when he gets home he'll just spin you a story, gaslight you then leave his bags packed at the door like last time in an act of emotional manipulation.

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  3. #172
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    I confronted my ex about a holiday he took with a girl that he lied about. He laughed in my face and said 'so what?' I'll never forget his face and I'm happily involved with someone else now. Don't expect to gain power or have him apologise etc. Treat yourself better than this

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  5. #173
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    Quote Originally Posted by A-Squared View Post
    I understand it could be safer to leave while he is away so waiting until then isn't such a silly idea unless you or your kids are in immediate danger of being physically assaulted or worse.

    Wouldn't it be so much more satisfying to let him think you have no idea of what's happening then have him return from his trip to find you, your kids and half of his things are gone, with a letter saying - think you can go on this holiday and return to normal? Look around.... We are gone. Enjoy your alone time.

    Change your number, have your kids change their numbers, rent a new house, block his number and never hear from him again.
    This is the best advice I've ever read on BH. This would give you revenge, give you freedom, keep you and the kids out of danger, and give you time to move out.

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  7. #174
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    You need to talk to Centrelink and legal aid long before he goes away though.

    You need to have a house ready to move into. You have enough time to make this happen.

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  9. #175
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    He has been away for two days for work .
    Only messaged me 3 or 4 words that's it NO phone calls or conversations like other Husbands that go away for work and ring their wives....
    He messaged me this morning asking if I could meet him out our sons new before and after school care to enroll them...I lied and said ok I would meet him but I had a appointment with my tafe teacher for work.
    I ended up spending a while at Tafe and didn't make the appointment at sons after school care....so now I'm in the ****s because I didn't go and I didn't tell him the real reason because it has to do with my work and he doesn't support anything to do with my work....he hasn't said a word to me...

  10. #176
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    TBH, I don't blame him for being cross about that. I'd be annoyed too.

    Stop playing games, get sorted and get out. Whatever you're waiting for isn't going to happen. Things won't get any better if you stay. So go and be happy. You CAN do this if you want to.

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  12. #177
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    It wasn't something that was done on purpose. ..I truly thought that I would make it on time.
    I was planning on going...he doesn't like my career choice and thinks that I should do something else...he thinks that he is the bread winner and I should have a job that fits in around him and his work and the kids more ...something between 9.30am and 2.30pm...and I'm not playing games this is my life ...

  13. #178
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    Quote Originally Posted by RuffledPansy View Post
    It wasn't something that was done on purpose. ..I truly thought that I would make it on time.
    I was planning on going...he doesn't like my career choice and thinks that I should do something else...he thinks that he is the bread winner and I should have a job that fits in around him and his work and the kids more ...something between 9.30am and 2.30pm...and I'm not playing games this is my life ...
    You said you lied to him by saying you would go when you had an appointment?

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  15. #179
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    I thought that I would have finished my app in time to meet up with him ...well that was my plan ..

  16. #180
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    Quote Originally Posted by RuffledPansy View Post
    I thought that I would have finished my app in time to meet up with him ...well that was my plan ..
    The way you wrote your post made it seen like you were sticking it to your DH on purpose. Do you write things this way because you tend to blame yourself (unfairly) for everything?


 

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