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  1. #141
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    Just make sure you're shoving money away while you can. Get your name off bills. Be ready.

  2. #142
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    So you will still get caught out 'snooping" once he has gone on the trip and confront him about it. How do you inagine that confrontation going?? Its all bad. Please, your poor son, dont put him in that situation when you anticipate violence occurring.

  3. #143
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    My son can't stand him and hate him for all of the things that he has done in the past ...

  4. #144
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    Quote Originally Posted by RuffledPansy View Post
    I wanted my son to be there because he is in his middle 20's and if I don't have him their then I know that my husband will become violent and I will be scared my son already knows what's going on ...
    Why not just leave when your hubby is on holidays. That way neither you or your son has to put up with his crap.

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  6. #145
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    I don't know ....in my mind at times I think of why ...I suppose because with everything he blames me ....his drinking he blames me his gambling he blames me so I guess this is evidence that I have on him and I am curious as to how he is going to explain were and when he is going and why and then when he does. ...I want to throw the evidence at him that I have and tell him how long I have known and see how he is going to explain it all....

  7. #146
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    Quote Originally Posted by RuffledPansy View Post
    Yes if he goes he will tell me it's for work but will not let on to me the location because that side of it doesn't fit ..
    so you'll have to admit to snooping to confront him about it anyway?

  8. #147
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    Quote Originally Posted by RuffledPansy View Post
    I don't know ....in my mind at times I think of why ...I suppose because with everything he blames me ....his drinking he blames me his gambling he blames me so I guess this is evidence that I have on him and I am curious as to how he is going to explain were and when he is going and why and then when he does. ...I want to throw the evidence at him that I have and tell him how long I have known and see how he is going to explain it all....
    Oh OP, he won't care. He will have an excuse. Say it's for work etc. And then what? He will have explained the holiday issue, so you two will then go back to normal? You normal (sh!t) marriage? You need to come to recognise the great long list of reasons why you should leave, reasons that have mounted up long before he booked this holiday.

  9. #148
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    If it was me in your shoes by the sounds of it I'd have already left. I don't think I would hang around just to use his holiday over him. This is the time now when you need to be the bigger person, choose your happiness and find a better life for yourself and your children. Blaming you for his drinking and gambling is pathetic. He chooses to do that, you do not force him to. Just like you can choose to be happy. I'm sending you lots of strength and positivity as I know you can do this. Go to a shelter, anywhere but don't stay in a place that makes you miserable.

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  11. #149
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    I know it's not logical what I am saying but I guess that is what after all these years he has done to me ....I want to be able to throw it in his face what I not as soon as he lies to my face ...

  12. #150
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    Default Have you ever been at your worst

    Quote Originally Posted by RuffledPansy View Post
    I don't know ....in my mind at times I think of why ...I suppose because with everything he blames me ....his drinking he blames me his gambling he blames me so I guess this is evidence that I have on him and I am curious as to how he is going to explain were and when he is going and why and then when he does. ...I want to throw the evidence at him that I have and tell him how long I have known and see how he is going to explain it all....
    it sounds as though you want something over him, to "prove" to him that he's wrong and you're right. I get that you want to vindicate yourself in his eyes. for him to admit, ok you're right.

    but as others have pointed out, that will never happen. you'll lose another few months of your life being miserable and unhappy waiting for this dream scenario to play out. the reality is, he will feel cornered and trapped and lash out (and you know this, which is why you're frightened and want your son present) then just turn it all around and blame you. that you somehow made him do this.

    look he's a piece of sh.t. let him go on his idiotic "holiday". I'd be cancelling his credit cards once he's on that flight to Hawaii actually. he'll be in for a rude shock once he lands and none of his cards work. how dare he waste joint funds gambling and drinking overseas. I'd also be leaving whilst he's gone. it's the perfect opportunity to do it as he's at least 14 hours away by plane so not like he can just roll up the driveway and catch you in the act.

    put yourself first this time and screw him.

  13. The Following 6 Users Say Thank You to turquoisecoast For This Useful Post:

    atomicmama  (04-02-2016),BettyW  (04-02-2016),BluePixie  (04-02-2016),Californication  (04-02-2016),KitiK  (05-02-2016),~Marigold~  (04-02-2016)


 

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