+ Reply to Thread
Page 10 of 30 FirstFirst ... 8910111220 ... LastLast
Results 91 to 100 of 295
  1. #91
    Join Date
    Jul 2015
    Location
    Sunshine Coast
    Posts
    2,963
    Thanks
    2,383
    Thanked
    2,071
    Reviews
    0
    Achievements:Topaz Star - 500 postsAmber Star - 2,000 posts
    Quote Originally Posted by RuffledPansy View Post
    I know he is arrogant and sexist. ..he believes that all women in a separation or divorce are money hungry *****es and are always the ones to blame ..

    I wish you the best and hope you can get out with the kids...

    I am not sure where you live, but here is a link that maybe helpful http://www.dvrcv.org.au/support-serv...ional-services

    Please don't be proud to call someone and ask for help. I had to swallow my pride and ask St Vinnies for a grocery voucher a couple of times when I was a single mum...but your kids come first.

  2. The Following User Says Thank You to Marchbundle For This Useful Post:

    Wise Enough  (25-01-2016)

  3. #92
    Join Date
    May 2009
    Posts
    4,786
    Thanks
    1,021
    Thanked
    2,246
    Reviews
    0
    Achievements:Topaz Star - 500 postsAmber Star - 2,000 posts
    Look your husband has mental health issues, he is likely addicted to alcohol and gambling. You will not fix him and he will not get better. He will get worse with each year. He will become more abusive, more controlling and more aggressive. There is nothing you can do to help him. Read NOTHING. He will not change men like this change maybe one in a million and even then they need to hit rock bottom in order to do so.
    You are suffering for low self esteem, probably depression and anxiety as well. Men like him prey on women like you.
    He will never leave you because you are too easy for him. He can do as he pleases with you. But he will threaten to leave you, he may even leave for a day or so but he will be back. It's all part of the game.
    Leaving your children with him pretty much guarantees them a life of misery.
    Right now the best thing you can do is take your kids and go to a women's shelter. Don't engage with him, don't tell him your leaving just vanish. If you are in a shelter you are a priority. There will be services that can help you get into accomodation. You can get access to free legal help, Centrelink, counselling and other services. They can also help you slap an AVO on him if needed.
    I'm sorry if this is blunt but no one can take the first step for you. I truely hope you give yourself and your children a chance at a decent life because the consequences of staying with this scum bag are serious and life long. And your children will carry these scars into adulthood.

  4. The Following 11 Users Say Thank You to Janesmum123 For This Useful Post:

    babyla  (25-01-2016),Carpe diem 2013  (25-01-2016),Chillies  (20-02-2016),delirium  (25-01-2016),Frankenmum  (25-01-2016),Jackinabox  (26-01-2016),Mokeybear  (25-01-2016),SuperGranny  (24-02-2016),turquoisecoast  (25-01-2016),VicPark  (25-01-2016),Wise Enough  (25-01-2016)

  5. #93
    Join Date
    Apr 2012
    Posts
    1,283
    Thanks
    676
    Thanked
    660
    Reviews
    0
    Achievements:Topaz Star - 500 posts

    Default Have you ever been at your worst

    .
    Last edited by Sally1981; 25-01-2016 at 21:45.

  6. The Following User Says Thank You to Sally1981 For This Useful Post:

    Wise Enough  (25-01-2016)

  7. #94
    Join Date
    May 2013
    Posts
    7,853
    Thanks
    5,065
    Thanked
    4,446
    Reviews
    0
    Achievements:Topaz Star - 500 postsAmber Star - 2,000 postsAmethyst Star - 5,000 posts
    Awards:
    Busiest Member of the Week - week ended 17/4/15100 Posts in a week
    @Sally1981 I think you've posted in the wrong thread Hun.

  8. #95
    Join Date
    Oct 2011
    Posts
    582
    Thanks
    117
    Thanked
    335
    Reviews
    7
    Achievements:Topaz Star - 500 posts
    Quote Originally Posted by A-Squared View Post
    @Sally1981 I think you've posted in the wrong thread Hun.
    No, I am guessing she was just answering the OP without reading all the replies. Something I know I've done from time to time🙂

  9. #96
    ~Marigold~'s Avatar
    ~Marigold~ is offline You make me happy, when skies are grey
    Join Date
    Nov 2011
    Location
    Melbourne
    Posts
    7,039
    Thanks
    9,662
    Thanked
    4,985
    Reviews
    7
    Achievements:Topaz Star - 500 postsAmber Star - 2,000 postsAmethyst Star - 5,000 posts
    Quote Originally Posted by RuffledPansy View Post
    He told me last night when I said that I will go he goes oh ok so your going to abandon your children are you. ..
    He's scared now. He is making you question yourself. Classic manipulation!

  10. #97
    Join Date
    Jan 2012
    Posts
    2,226
    Thanks
    3,792
    Thanked
    2,210
    Reviews
    0
    Achievements:Topaz Star - 500 postsAmber Star - 2,000 posts
    Quote Originally Posted by Janesmum123 View Post
    Look your husband has mental health issues, he is likely addicted to alcohol and gambling. You will not fix him and he will not get better. He will get worse with each year. He will become more abusive, more controlling and more aggressive. There is nothing you can do to help him. Read NOTHING. He will not change men like this change maybe one in a million and even then they need to hit rock bottom in order to do so.
    You are suffering for low self esteem, probably depression and anxiety as well. Men like him prey on women like you.
    He will never leave you because you are too easy for him. He can do as he pleases with you. But he will threaten to leave you, he may even leave for a day or so but he will be back. It's all part of the game.
    Leaving your children with him pretty much guarantees them a life of misery.
    Right now the best thing you can do is take your kids and go to a women's shelter. Don't engage with him, don't tell him your leaving just vanish. If you are in a shelter you are a priority. There will be services that can help you get into accomodation. You can get access to free legal help, Centrelink, counselling and other services. They can also help you slap an AVO on him if needed.
    I'm sorry if this is blunt but no one can take the first step for you. I truely hope you give yourself and your children a chance at a decent life because the consequences of staying with this scum bag are serious and life long. And your children will carry these scars into adulthood.
    GREAT advice, every word of it.

    Just leave him OP, gather up whatever strength and bit of yourself that remains inside yourself and end this poisonous pairing. Only you can do this, life is too short to live in utter misery, your children's lives are too precious to be ruined in such a toxic environment.

    You really can do this, you really can, woman do this all the time, some of those woman have posted in this thread, including myself, not one single one of those woman have said they regretted leaving and none have said their own lives or lives of their children got worse, very much the opposite. You have nothing to loose but many many many things to gain.

    Please leave, please.

  11. The Following 3 Users Say Thank You to Mokeybear For This Useful Post:

    A-Squared  (25-01-2016),babyla  (25-01-2016),MrsSS  (25-01-2016)

  12. #98
    Join Date
    May 2011
    Posts
    7,878
    Thanks
    3,397
    Thanked
    5,160
    Reviews
    8
    Achievements:Topaz Star - 500 postsAmber Star - 2,000 postsAmethyst Star - 5,000 posts

    Default Have you ever been at your worst

    Quote Originally Posted by Janesmum123 View Post
    Look your husband has mental health issues, he is likely addicted to alcohol and gambling. You will not fix him and he will not get better. He will get worse with each year. He will become more abusive, more controlling and more aggressive. There is nothing you can do to help him. Read NOTHING. He will not change men like this change maybe one in a million and even then they need to hit rock bottom in order to do so.
    You are suffering for low self esteem, probably depression and anxiety as well. Men like him prey on women like you.
    He will never leave you because you are too easy for him. He can do as he pleases with you. But he will threaten to leave you, he may even leave for a day or so but he will be back. It's all part of the game.
    Leaving your children with him pretty much guarantees them a life of misery.
    Right now the best thing you can do is take your kids and go to a women's shelter. Don't engage with him, don't tell him your leaving just vanish. If you are in a shelter you are a priority. There will be services that can help you get into accomodation. You can get access to free legal help, Centrelink, counselling and other services. They can also help you slap an AVO on him if needed.
    I'm sorry if this is blunt but no one can take the first step for you. I truely hope you give yourself and your children a chance at a decent life because the consequences of staying with this scum bag are serious and life long. And your children will carry these scars into adulthood.
    This. Do exactly this. All of it.

    We live in a country where we have options, use them.

    You get one life!

  13. The Following 2 Users Say Thank You to babyla For This Useful Post:

    A-Squared  (25-01-2016),Mokeybear  (25-01-2016)

  14. #99
    Join Date
    Oct 2007
    Posts
    22,848
    Thanks
    6,202
    Thanked
    16,895
    Reviews
    10
    Achievements:Topaz Star - 500 postsAmber Star - 2,000 postsAmethyst Star - 5,000 postsEmerald Star - 10,000 postsRuby Star - 15,000 postsDiamond Star - 20,000 posts
    Awards:
    Bubhub Blogger - Thanks100 Posts in a week
    OP please read your posts back to yourself. Not just this thread but all of them. You are not 'ripping them from their home' by leaving with them. Home is a state of mind not geography, it can be anywhere you decide to make it. The right choice is that home will be free from abuse, away from him.

    I'm trying to be sensitive as I understand what DV does to the victim emotionally. But at the same time I feel like I owe you honesty. You need to stop putting barriers up and start putting a plan of action together. Refuges usually have case workers that can help you find a rental and/or refer you onto crisis accommodation. They will help you get counselling for you and the kids. They will take you to Vinnies and advocate to get furniture and food. There would be some kind of families program in your area with a case worker as well if the refuge doesn't offer one. PM my your postcode and I will find a service for you.

    I'm not saying it's going to be easy but it will get better. Staying with him won't.

  15. The Following 5 Users Say Thank You to delirium For This Useful Post:

    HillDweller  (25-01-2016),Mokeybear  (25-01-2016),twinklify  (25-01-2016),VicPark  (25-01-2016),Wise Enough  (25-01-2016)

  16. #100
    Join Date
    May 2013
    Posts
    7,853
    Thanks
    5,065
    Thanked
    4,446
    Reviews
    0
    Achievements:Topaz Star - 500 postsAmber Star - 2,000 postsAmethyst Star - 5,000 posts
    Awards:
    Busiest Member of the Week - week ended 17/4/15100 Posts in a week
    Tell him to leave. If he doesn't, when does he go on his holiday? Can you wait until then if he refuses to leave? It could give you time to find ourself a rental so you can take everything with you and not rely on bunnies etc for donations.

    Then your kids will be surrounded by their own things but to end up with time to get a new place sorted.

    Of course if he's moving going on his holiday for a long time or you feel like you or your kids are at risk of physical harm, leave ASAP.

    Don't give him the satisfaction of leaving the kids. He tells you what he wants you to hear - to get what he wants, so try and beat him at his own game, let him think he's winning but tell him what you want him to hear, whether you mean it or not. He will be confused as to why his latest emotional manipulation of you isn't working.

    Next time he starts being negative or calling you names or making threats, pretend he's just saying blah blah blah blah, don't let his words make you doubt yourself.


 

Similar Threads

  1. Feel like the worst pet owner!!!
    By Hasselhoff in forum Pets
    Replies: 38
    Last Post: 29-08-2015, 17:37
  2. Worst Mother Award!
    By BabyBoo3 in forum General Parenting Tips, Advice & Chat
    Replies: 13
    Last Post: 28-02-2015, 18:48
  3. Tell me about your worst restaurant experience
    By SAgirl in forum General Chat
    Replies: 81
    Last Post: 15-02-2015, 21:07

Posting Permissions

  • You may not post new threads
  • You may not post replies
  • You may not post attachments
  • You may not edit your posts
free weekly newsletters | sign up now!
who are these people who write great posts? meet our hubbub authors!
Learn how you can contribute to the hubbub!

reviews
learn how you can become a reviewer!

competitions

forum - chatting now
christmas gift guidesee all Red Stocking
Boody Organic Bamboo Baby Wear
Softer than your bub's bum Boody Organic Bamboo Baby Wear
Australia's favourite eco brand has delivered a gorgeous baby collection. Made from organic bamboo, Boody's extraordinarily soft and stretchy, skin-friendly tops, bottoms, onesies, bibs and wraps don't 'cost the earth'. Get 20% OFF! Code BUBHUB16.
sales & new stuffsee all
True Fairies
True Fairies is the first interactive website where children can engage and speak with a real fairy through the unique webcam fairy portal. Each session is tailored to the child, and is filled with enchantment and magic.
Visit website to find out more!
featured supporter
Ro and Co
Ro and Co kids cooking classes and parties are a fantastic way for children to experiment with food. The classes and parties are designed to be both educational and fun, giving your child the skills they need to be confident and creative in the kitchen.
gotcha
X

Pregnant for the first-time?

Not sure where to start? We can help!

Our Insider Programs for pregnancy first-timers will lead you step-by-step through the 14 Pregnancy Must Dos!