Popping in here today. At your first post I was teetering on the fence as to what I thought. As a little more info was given I totally see where you are coming from.
My MIL is good enough to always ask 'is taking DS to this and this or feeding him this and this ok' and I appreciate it. Even DH and I tell each other what our plans are for the day with DS!
I hope you do not feel guilty for the way she is acting.