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  1. #1
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    Default So upset my son did not speak up....

    My 5 year-old, due to start school next week had an incident today at daycare that upset me a lot.

    When i I went to pick him up the carers said he'd been lying/sleeping in the sandpit for an hour and a half. They were there of course and asking him if he was ok but assumed he just was tired.

    I knew instantly that there was something wrong. Turned out after some coaxing and getting them to get the other kids away that he had had a serious case of diarrhoea and was horribly embarrassed. He knows his carer's very well (5 years) but could not speak up.

    I got him up and took him to the bathroom. Once I got him cleaned up he was fine but honestly, my heart broke to see him so unable to move for so long and keep up the facade of being ok as long as no one knew.

    I may be overreacting but please just reassure me. I spoke to him when we got home and assured him it's ok to quietly let his teacher know he needs some help if he needs help and that it's an accident or he is sick.

  2. #2
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    Oh poor little thing! I think you have handled it really well. Reinforce a positive message with him and dont associate any negativity with the incident. He was probably feeling off colour too if he had the runs... onwards and upwards, positive message all the way. In a few days, when the incident is long forgotten, maybe give him a bouncy, positive reminder he can talk to the teacher if he needs help. Ps: the staff attitude is questionable. Sleeping in sandpit is not appropriate but i would focus on your ds for now.

  3. #3
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    Oh that's sad. Poor poppet. Just remember they are resilient and what breaks our hearts they get over quickly.

    I've found dirty underwear in my 4yos bag. She told me a couple of weeks after I found it about her super stealth change and no one knowing. I guess she didn't feel comfortable speaking up.

  4. #4
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    Oh no poor little guy! It can be so embarrassing and he didn't want to be teased but being stuck there for so long must've been horrible for him I would've approached to check on him if I were his career tbh. You definitely handled it the right way, next time if it happens hopefully he will ask for some help.

  5. #5
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    I think you did the right thing too. But I do wonder how his carers couldn't see or smell it! Poor kid. Hope he feels better in the morning.

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  7. #6
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    Don't be so upset... As said above, don't bring negativity to the issue but reinforce that if he has a problem like that it's okay to ask someone else for help... There is nothing wrong with his reaction to this.. He told you didn't he? Regardless of how long he has known these people how would you feel having to come forward with something like that, even as an adult?
    The real concern I see here is that the carers left him "laying/sleeping" in a sandpit for so long...? It's obviously not normal behaviour for your son.. What if he had had a seizure or something more serious than the kind of accident he did...? I find this very worrying.. I don't mean to disrespect, but just from your post it seems like an issue.. It doesn't sound like they tried very hard to see if he really was okay..
    I hope this doesn't give you extra unwarranted worry as I don't know the facility or people myself.. It just sounds a bit off to me..

  8. #7
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    Poor thing!

    I would definitely have a word, without DS present, with the carers, or someone in charge. I just think it's not acceptable even if a child is just tired to leave them laying in a sandpit, also I would wonder if they got close enough to check on him as they would have surely smelt it.

    It's so heart breaking, but as others have said kids are resilient, DD had an incident once where she was hurt in an awkward place so when asked she said she was ok, even though a carer saw it happen, no one called me or told me about it, I saw black bruising at home, I was horrified, to this day it upsets me, but I don't think she can't even recall the incident.

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  10. #8
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    Poor wee man! I remember being about 5 or 6 years old at primary school, and coming off the monkey bars and cracking my head so hard I wet my pants!

    I had a change of clothes in my bag and just got myself changed without telling anyone. I remember being soooo embarrassed!

    So yes, I think it's totally normal behaviour for your son, as heartbreaking as it is!

    But yep, definitely would be having a word to his carers, leaving him like that is definitely not on and like previous posters have said, if they'd been thorough they likely would have seen/smelt it - and what if he was having a serious medical issue? Not ok at all.

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  12. #9
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    Thank you for the replies, I did not at all bring negativity into it. I just felt awful for him, but handled it with the right attitude.

    I definitely don't have concerns regarding the staff. They were right there with him, talking to him and asking him questions. It was a situation where he was more or less covering up why he wanted to stay lying down. A couple of the other kids apparently laid down with him for a while so it was not obvious he was in distress I guess. He is well loved and cared for by the educators. He did become more distressed when I arrived and was able to let his distress show. I honestly didn't smell anything when leaning over him myself either and the educators said the same. They feel absolutely terrible about the situation too. We can't expect them to be more perfect than (not so perfect) us....

    it upset me also because I remember a similar thing happening to me when I was 7! I tried to cover it up, I was horribly embarrassed also.

    Anyway, he is all fine now, he understands it wasn't his fault at all, but probably a tummy bug or something he ate and that he can ask the teacher to take the other kids away if he needs help privately in future. He's back to his bouncy happy self today. I hope this never happens again
    Last edited by Botticelli; 20-01-2016 at 19:38.

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  14. #10
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    I remember something similar when I was about 6. I actually sat on my poppa juice and wet the back of my dress - I was so scared everyone would laugh at me and say I had wet my pants that I just sat in the corner all lunch time....

    Sorry random thought but just wanted you to know I don't have any trauma from te experience and I'm sure your son won't either. He will probably learn from this and speak up next time


 

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