+ Reply to Thread
Results 1 to 9 of 9
  1. #1
    Join Date
    Dec 2014
    Posts
    63
    Thanks
    22
    Thanked
    27
    Reviews
    0

    Default Nervous Partner

    Hi Everyone,

    My partner is going in for an HSG procedure in two days and I am the one who is nervous as hell!

    we have done out homework and she is fine with the procedure and honestly I don't see a problem with it either except for this.

    We both work, so she'll be taking the day off whilst I am uncertain on what to do. I have to be there for her both financially and emotionally. But I need to work to support us, especially with how expensive fertility treatments and possible IVF can be.

    I am stuck on what to do. She says she will be fine and that the only reason I should come is for my own piece of mind.

    Those of you who have gone through this procedure, have you needed your partner (or support) there with you?

    Are we both going to regret me not being there because I have had to work?

    Am I just working myself up for no reason?

    - Nervous hopeful Dad to be.

  2. #2
    Join Date
    Apr 2014
    Location
    Roleystone
    Posts
    1,711
    Thanks
    2,383
    Thanked
    1,926
    Reviews
    0
    Achievements:Topaz Star - 500 posts
    Hi @TCK I'm not sure what state you're in, but as far as I know, they won't let your partner be in the actual room with you while you have the HSG done. So, you'd be driving her there, sitting in the waiting room and driving her home.

    It's entirely up to you obviously if you feel you need to be there, but just letting you know you probably won't be allowed to "be there" in the room with her.

    If she receives bad news (ie her tubes are blocked) do you think she would need you there for support? Everyone is different and it really depends on whether your partner feels she would need you there in that situation. If not, and she has told you not to worry about coming, maybe save up your holiday days for the times you really will need to be there or she really will want you there (and hopefully that will mean ultrasounds of your baby and not fertility treatments ). I had to go to hospital for my HSG as I had small operation as well and my husband had to work. I told him not to take the day off and got someone else to drive me. I'm glad I did because now we're doing IVF and he's got some holiday days up his sleeve that we will need him to take!

    Hope everything goes well!

  3. #3
    Join Date
    Dec 2014
    Posts
    63
    Thanks
    22
    Thanked
    27
    Reviews
    0
    Thank you @HillDweller for that insight. We are in QLD.

    I have been also checking YouTube vids of different women's thoughts and feelings of the procedure. I'm feeling a bit better about it.

    I don't think I could handle waiting in the waiting room. They'd have to give me something to calm down. I'm a pretty calm guy, but when it comes to things like this, my partner going through medical procedures, I break down. Even worse when it is something so intimate.

    Thank you. :-)

  4. #4
    Join Date
    Apr 2014
    Location
    Roleystone
    Posts
    1,711
    Thanks
    2,383
    Thanked
    1,926
    Reviews
    0
    Achievements:Topaz Star - 500 posts
    Sounds like you're a great supportive partner Glad you're feeling a bit better about it all and I hope it goes well

  5. #5
    Join Date
    Aug 2013
    Posts
    4,184
    Thanks
    1,270
    Thanked
    2,593
    Reviews
    0
    Achievements:Topaz Star - 500 postsAmber Star - 2,000 posts
    Awards:
    100 Posts in a week
    I had mine done at the Wesley by Dr Carmody. I didn't even think to take hubby with me. The procedure itself was ok. It was pretty unpleasant but once it was done I was fine. The only thing I didn't like was that they put me in a back room afterwards because I looked pale and unwell (never mind it was the dead of winter and I'm pale anyway during the cooler months), but then forgot about me. Maybe if I had DH with me we could've talked loudly so they remembered I was there. Once I left I then went to work for a 12hr night shift and didn't have any issues afterwards apart from some period type cramping.

  6. #6
    Join Date
    Dec 2014
    Posts
    63
    Thanks
    22
    Thanked
    27
    Reviews
    0
    @M'LadyEm, My partner is going to Wesley as well.

    I'm not too concerned about unpleasant. That is something I know she can handle.

    I was more thinking of her feeling 'left to get on with it'. I see this as something that we are both going through, despite she being the one that will be poked and prodded the most. I don't want her to feel like I've abandoned her after I've done my little bit.

    But she's reassured me over and over that she doesn't need me there and it is just an X-ray with a difference.

    I really don't like it but at this stage I don't have much choice.

  7. #7
    Join Date
    Aug 2013
    Posts
    4,184
    Thanks
    1,270
    Thanked
    2,593
    Reviews
    0
    Achievements:Topaz Star - 500 postsAmber Star - 2,000 posts
    Awards:
    100 Posts in a week
    If she's given you the okay to not go, then listen to her. I've done a lot of things on my own in our fertility journey. Drs appts, IUI cycles (he was there for the first one, but for the subsequent cycles I just dropped DH off at work then straight to the clinic with his just produced sample), scans etc. If you do end up in a longish journey, you're going to run out of leave from work really quickly and won't have anything left for when you really need it. You can be supportive of her without physically being there. If the appointment is for say 3pm, send her a text just before telling her you're thinking of her, hope it goes ok etc. It will be reassuring to her that you are thinking of her without physically having to be there.

    Tbh if my DH insisted on coming to every appointment/scan etc I'd start to get a little annoyed. Mainly because nothing would change if he was there or not. Now we're starting IVF it's slightly different. I definitely want him there for both egg collection and transfer. As its such a big step from what we've been doing I still want him to be a part of the process and not just feel like he's only there to make the sperm. It's his baby too and I want him to be there so he doesn't feel so detached from the process (this may change of course if we have to do multiple cycles). That's just me though. I'm a resilient person and I don't need someone to sit and hold my hand all the time. I'm sure it's totally different for others.

  8. The Following 2 Users Say Thank You to M'LadyEm For This Useful Post:

    HillDweller  (20-01-2016),JustJaq  (20-01-2016)

  9. #8
    Join Date
    Dec 2014
    Posts
    63
    Thanks
    22
    Thanked
    27
    Reviews
    0
    So basically I had a three day anxiety attack. I was not myself at all and it was a bit taxing on my partner.

    Everything went well though she did have a small amount of pain, but nothing unmanageable.

    I saw a weird object in the x-Ray films she brought home for me. So I googled some of the instruments they used and found a screw type object that they screw into the cervix as a type of plug that allows the liquid through. I got really angry with that as all I had ever read was a tiny catheter was used. Not some ******** medieval screw tube.

    I don't know where all this comes from but it really winds me up. I think it may be because I have no control over the situation.

    So in a nutshell, everything was fine with her procedure and the results were good.

    I had to try to deal with myself which got so bad for me that the afternoon when all was finished I actually curled up under my blanket with tears in my eyes. I couldn't believe it. Plus on the same day I found that my sperm count had dropped to 5 million.

    The lack of control and the bad news just broke me. Yet I'm trying to look after someone else, that doesn't actually need it.

    I'm now trying to desensitise myself to any procedures we may face such as egg collection and implantation by watching and reading everything I can find on YouTube and the web.

    I'm pretty sure I'm going to be the one biggest problem in this mission.

  10. #9
    Join Date
    Dec 2014
    Posts
    63
    Thanks
    22
    Thanked
    27
    Reviews
    0
    @M'LadyEm, I just realised that you've been with me through my few but heartfelt posts.

    I've also just realised how much of a control freak I am turning out to be through all of this.

    All I talk about is control.

    Omg.

    I am truly thankful for your words. They are more helpful than you might think.

    I have no idea of where you are in your IVF journey. But i wish you all the best.

    If you anything in person like you are on the keyboard, then I believe you will be or already are one of the most amazing mothers around.


 

Similar Threads

  1. New and nervous
    By Blossom74 in forum Introductions
    Replies: 5
    Last Post: 02-09-2015, 19:41
  2. Feeling nervous in the 2ww
    By Caesardust in forum Conception & Fertility General Chat
    Replies: 2
    Last Post: 05-08-2015, 08:40
  3. Very new and very nervous!
    By KM2903 in forum Introductions
    Replies: 6
    Last Post: 15-02-2015, 08:40

Tags for this Thread

Posting Permissions

  • You may not post new threads
  • You may not post replies
  • You may not post attachments
  • You may not edit your posts
free weekly newsletters | sign up now!
who are these people who write great posts? meet our hubbub authors!
Learn how you can contribute to the hubbub!

reviews
learn how you can become a reviewer!

competitions

forum - chatting now
christmas gift guidesee all Red Stocking
Riverton Leisureplex
An Extreme Family Pass at Riverton Leisureplex is the ultimate way to cool off during the summer school holidays. The $30 Pass allows pool and waterslide access for 2 adults and 2 children, as well as a drink, popcorn and an icy pole for each person.
sales & new stuffsee all
Wendys Music School Melbourne
Wondering about Music Lessons? FREE 30 minute ASSESSMENT. Find out if your child is ready! Piano from age 3 years & Guitar, Singing, Drums, Violin from age 5. Lessons available for all ages. 35+ years experience. Structured program.
Use referral 'bubhub' when booking
featured supporter
Innovations Sports Physiotherapy
Women’s Health Physios who are able to assess and treat a wide range of Pregnancy and Post Natal Issues. We offer Post Natal Pilates Classes taken by our Physios. These classes help you rebuild strength through your Core and Pelvic Floor.
gotcha
X

Pregnant for the first-time?

Not sure where to start? We can help!

Our Insider Programs for pregnancy first-timers will lead you step-by-step through the 14 Pregnancy Must Dos!