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  1. #21
    Join Date
    Feb 2006
    Achievements:Topaz Star - 500 postsAmber Star - 2,000 posts
    It's late and I'm tired but I'll try and remember some things we do-

    Explain to them that in the heat of the moment, they need to manage their reactions. They often need to use a strategy to calm down before it escalates. For eg. STOP and take 5 deep breaths, STOP and count to 10, STOP and leave the room for a minute. Then they need to use their words to tell the other person exactly what the problem is; what they want them to stop doing, why, and what they want them to do instead. For eg "Xyz can you please stop standing on my bed, it messes it up, can you use your ladder instead". (That bit is hard and doesn't happen much in our house, but I do manage to get them to do the calming bits at least). Remind them that yelling and hitting is not acceptable and they need to control themselves before it gets to that. They need to use their words only, and if they have no success with that, they can come and ask me for help.

    I remind them to respect the other persons boundaries, personal space, and time to themselves. A common one for us is, x will ask y to play a game, y will say no he doesn't feel like it, so then x will badger y into playing, then y will play really stroppily, then x gets upset because y isn't into it. So I just remind them to always respect each others feelings.

    I have explained to them about resentment, and how if x always annoys y, then next time x wants to play with y, y will say no because y automatically thinks that x will annoy him. Then we get this big cycle of anger.

    When they DO play nice together, I give them lots of praise about what they're doing nicely, and comment about how nice it makes the whole household when everyone is happy.

    That's all I can think of atm, but it is a big issue in my house, between my two boys. They just don't get along. :/

  2. #22
    Join Date
    Apr 2014
    Central Qld
    Quote Originally Posted by Albert01 View Post
    @MrsTickle, can I ask what tests you started off with?
    @Sonja, I don't know what the answer is but I've been meaning to read a book by Dr Laura Markham on this issue. I think the book is called 'Peaceful Parent, Happy Siblings'.
    Great book recommendation. I will follow that up.

    Albert, we attended a GP initially who ordered full blood tests (to determine general health, not iGg antibody testing or anything whacko like that) faecal and urine tests. We've known him for a long time and he's a good diagnostician. When they came back, he ordered further tests on the liver and a mineral count I think it was? We were then referred to another doctor specialising in allergies and they underwent a series of physical tests pertaining to foods.
    There were more tests after that and we commenced our regimen.
    From a personal point of view, I wasn't surprised to find a sensitivity, was RELIEVED to know it wasn't an allergy but totally dumbfounded at how sugar really has its grip in the most insidious of ways. I am not so quick to dismiss Sarah Wilson (I Quit Sugar) anymore!

  3. #23
    Join Date
    Jun 2005
    At the beach
    Achievements:Topaz Star - 500 postsAmber Star - 2,000 postsAmethyst Star - 5,000 postsEmerald Star - 10,000 posts
    Busiest Member of the Week - week ended 17/10/14100 Posts in a week
    Just a quick update we went away for a few days to the beach and the kids were great. I was really stressed about how they would all get along and everything was fine. I think the kids all need to get back to school. My girls have been off for 2 months. I haven't done much by way of activities in the last fortnight and I think they are actually relaxed and wound down.

    Will see how it goes once school resumes. I'm also working on not getting myself worked up about things and just go with the flow more.

  4. The Following 3 Users Say Thank You to Sonja For This Useful Post:

    FearlessLeader  (25-01-2016),Rose&Aurelia&Hannah  (25-01-2016),VicPark  (25-01-2016)


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