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  1. #481
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    Hi @mummy2016 im sorry you got a bfn. Thats not fair. I have had lots of them and they almost destroy me each time, i honestly dont know how to move on after them. Its very emotionally draining. Im sending you hugs via bubhub xx
    You can ask your nurse to recommend a young and proven donor with the qualities you want. I found that asking the donor agencies for recommendations of proven donors was a little unreliable in that their idea of proven was not good enough for me. They would say they were proven because they had a good egg retrieval and had a child of their own but when i requested the donation report (which you can get from your nurse if they also donated at your clinic-in my case it was Cape Fertility) i was not impressed a lot of the time. I really wanted a donor that ended up getting good blasts and had a few left over to freeze. I did a lot of emailing back and forth between donor agency and cfc nurse and found a girl i was happy with. You need to first ask donor agencies to send you a list of their recommendations and then email your nurse coordinator and request the donatin reports on their previous cycles. Thats the best way to get an idea of how they go with their meds and collection. Of course this is not 100% guaranteed as every cycle is different and you also need to consider sperm factor but it puts confidence in yourself to know you will most likely get over 4 blasts to freeze instead of maybe 1 or none. Its stressfull for sure. Take your time to grieve and process xxxx ps sorry for harping on! Also thank you for that beautiful poem, it made me cry xx

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  3. #482
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    Default Egg Donation in South Africa #12

    Quote Originally Posted by mummy2016 View Post
    It's a BFN for us.
    I am so devastated it's beyond words.
    I don't know how you amazing ladies do it again and again. It is so hard, and emotionally draining.
    Not to talk of financially. The time, the money, the pain,! The hopes, the disappointments.
    I am heartbroken!!!!
    we have exhausted all our savings, we are in debt.
    How do we begin again?
    Dear mummy2016,

    So sorry for you, following your BFN. It is terribly devastating, painful and draining. I wish there was something I, or anyone could say or do, that would make it hurt less. The emptiness is unbearable and only time can begin to heal it for you.

    The women on BH are amazing and help by providing understanding, love, encouragement and hope. I hope being on here begins to help you too, particularly as you determine what is the best next step for you, on your journey.

    As a fellow Canadian I was never drawn to undertaking the ED journey here, locally. For all that makes our nation great, this area of fertility keeps us stuck back in the dark ages. Having worked with another fertility clinic in CT and had a devastating and disappointing first experience I can confidently say that CFC is unsurpassed in their care, professionalism and overall experience. I also found them to be honest always. Our doc was Paul LeRoux and he was fabulous!

    The many positive stories that I read here before we embarked with our second experience/cycle provided me with the hope and belief that a baby was still a real possibility for us. Switching egg donor agencies also made a HUGE difference.

    I'd be happy to provide any additional support that I can to you, to help make "the where to next part" any easier for you - feel free to pm me.

    Sending you big hugs.
    CJC

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  5. #483
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    Default Egg Donation in South Africa #12

    Quote Originally Posted by Tahli View Post
    @cjocoh71 Yeah, I really thought I was in with a good chance too, esp after getting positive FRER's for 4.5 days. It's some-what doing my head in wondering it was my ED. She has helped 3 women get pregnant, then on her 4th donation all embryos arrested on day 4 which every-one put down to sperm quality, then there's my donation. So I just really don't know.
    Thanks so much for sharing your story. I remember all too well starting out the ED process and thinking it was magically going to work. I'd mentally set myself up for 3 transfers as a worse case scenario. IVF has a way of making naive fools of us some-times.
    Well done on having the strength to cut your loses with ED1 and move onto ED2. It must have been tough at the time. What a wise decision and super congrats on your precious babies!
    I'd love the details of both of your ED's, thanks truckloads! I appreciate the help. xx
    Hmmm ...super hard to know. But sucks just the same.

    Any chance your cycle could have been negatively impacted by your SD. Do you happen to know his success rate? Notwithstanding the costs and extraordinary emotional investment, could a completely new cycle of both ED and SD be worth considering ? (and I apologize if you've already addressed this)

    Am going to look up our donor "names" and will pm them to you. I will, however state that our first attempt was with Gift ov Life and at no time was I impressed with them (not to mention the abysmal experience we had with their donor). They were patronizing, spewed a lot of empty "baby positivity" and once they'd been paid in full hardly even knew who we were. In stark contrast with Jenny at baby2mom who was a delight throughout the process, seemed genuinely concerned about us having success and always reached out of her own accord at the most appropriate times, with loving words and encouragement.

    DP and I were not unaware that both agencies are businesses, but both Tami and Dawn, from GoL, were supposed to have experienced infertility, knowing first-hand the horrid disappointment, and yet at no time did their actions, behaviours or words honour what could have really set them apart from their competitors.

    Ok, off to find out our donor "names" to share. Is well into the night here, but sleep doesn't come as easily to me these days ...😜!

    Sending you a great big hug.
    Xoxo
    CJC
    Last edited by cjocoh71; 22-03-2016 at 14:44.

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  7. #484
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    Default Egg Donation in South Africa #12

    Quote Originally Posted by Tahli View Post
    @Blinky76 I think I've just done the kitchen sink cycle! I've never been on so much medication as this cycle. I got really sick on the 1000mg of Metformin and had to lower it to 500mgs a few days prior to transfer due to an hypoglycemic episode.
    LB is my FS here in Melb and I consulted with Dr Matthias for this cycle too. I had 2 months off prior and then LB did a hysteroscopy, D&C and endo scratch.
    The only thing I scrimped on was intralipids. I did my usual 200mls of intralipids but Dr M recommended 400mls, which would have meant flying up to Sydney to do. I have MTHFR and NK Cells which I'm on all the correct meds for.
    The very, very last thing I'm doing is an ouchy Tubal Patency next week to rule out Hydrasalpinx's.
    I think I've covered all my bases but feel free to suggest any-thing you think might help!!
    It certainly sounds like you did a kitchen sink cycle too, especially if you were working with LB and Dr M. If it helps at all I am happy to PM my medication list that Wazza had me on. (The biggest difference I had for the last cycle was 500ml of intralipids three times prior to leaving for SA, once while in SA and then every 10 days until 14 weeks, pregnyl And also both DH and I had two courses of antibiotics)

    I also bought additional Gestone to last until 12 weeks (I had to continue on with Crinone three times per day until 20 weeks).

    There was a whole bunch of stuff so I ended up doing a full spreadsheet to keep track of it all.
    Last edited by Blinky76; 22-03-2016 at 20:20.

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  9. #485
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    Default Egg Donation in South Africa #12

    Thanks Ladies. It is hard. I have questions. I know I can't question God, but I want to know why?
    Why go through all this optimistic and praying and hoping for the best only to then have all your hopes dashed?
    Why can't I be like those other women that do not have any problems conceiving, that get pregnant just by looking at their husbands? Why?
    Why me God?
    I am determined, I know I will be a mother.
    When?
    I don't know, but I know I will be a wonderful mother.

    Can you please recommend the agency you used, I was with gift Ov life, was not too impressed.
    Last edited by mummy2016; 22-03-2016 at 21:38.

  10. #486
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    Quote Originally Posted by mummy2016 View Post
    Thanks Ladies. It is hard. I have questions. I know I can't question God, but I want to know why?
    Why go through all this optimistic and praying and hoping for the best only to then have all your hopes dashed?
    Why can't I be like those other women that do not have any problems conceiving, that get pregnant just by looking at their husbands? Why?
    Why me God?
    I am determined, I know I will be a mother.
    When?
    I don't know, but I know I will be a wonderful mother.

    Can you please recommend the agency you used, I was with gift Ov life, was not too impressed.
    Mummy2016 I have asked why so many times too. I always think what am I supposed to be learning from all of this heartache, because people are always telling me that things like this are given to the 'strongest' people, they say things like 'this is happening to you because god knows you can handle it ' etc and that I am learning something from this whole process. But actually I have had enough, I have learnt patience and a whole lots of other emotions and I think I have had my fair share so give me a break please!! I find myself saying why doesn't 'god' want me to be a mum, or why is he making it so hard. I don't know what my life purpose is if I can't be a mum. I know there are lots of other things in life but being a mum is what I thought I was born to do. I certainly is making me question so many things in life. It would be nice to be one of those women, the ones who can plan what season or month their baby is born because they are just so fertile! Just keep going, you are doing well xx
    i used gift of life the first time, my donor produced good embryos-9 in total. All transferred bar one. Bfn to all. So maybe they weren't that good after all. This time around I have gone with egg donation SA. The embryologist from Cape Fertility runs EDSA so I found it a lot easier to get accurate info on donors and their previous donations. I also found jenny from baby2mom extremely helpful and caring. Wishing you good baby luck

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  12. #487
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    @Blinky76 do you think pregnyl was good? I'm doing another kitchen sink approach and was going to add that in too. Will use neupogen clexane prednisolone 20mg, diabex, baby aspirin, vit e, coq10, progesterone (but not injections-severe reaction and dr m thinks it's harmful to me to have reaction)
    xx

  13. #488
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    Quote Originally Posted by ECM1981 View Post
    Mummy2016 I have asked why so many times too. I always think what am I supposed to be learning from all of this heartache, because people are always telling me that things like this are given to the 'strongest' people, they say things like 'this is happening to you because god knows you can handle it ' etc and that I am learning something from this whole process. But actually I have had enough, I have learnt patience and a whole lots of other emotions and I think I have had my fair share so give me a break please!! I find myself saying why doesn't 'god' want me to be a mum, or why is he making it so hard. I don't know what my life purpose is if I can't be a mum. I know there are lots of other things in life but being a mum is what I thought I was born to do. I certainly is making me question so many things in life. It would be nice to be one of those women, the ones who can plan what season or month their baby is born because they are just so fertile! Just keep going, you are doing well xx
    i used gift of life the first time, my donor produced good embryos-9 in total. All transferred bar one. Bfn to all. So maybe they weren't that good after all. This time around I have gone with egg donation SA. The embryologist from Cape Fertility runs EDSA so I found it a lot easier to get accurate info on donors and their previous donations. I also found jenny from baby2mom extremely helpful and caring. Wishing you good baby luck
    I am tired of hearing that too, that God gives challenges and test the strongest.
    I am not strong, I am weak, been crying for two days now, have got a bad headache and can't go to work.
    It's sad, nothing seems to be helping.
    I want to feel better, I want to be happy, I want to be strong, but I can't help it.
    I will try Jenny at baby2mom.
    Will be trying again, Like Canuck1 said, it's still cheaper to go to SA and CFC again. It's so expensive here in Canada.

  14. #489
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    @Blinky76 - I'm a patient of Warren's also but I'm doing a KED cycle here in Brisbane next month. I'm pretty much on the whole spectrum of drugs, including immune as I have elevated NK cells...but I was just wondering what the antibiotics were for? I think I may have had them for my last OE cycle, but can't quite remember.

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  16. #490
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    Quote Originally Posted by ECM1981 View Post
    @Blinky76 do you think pregnyl was good? I'm doing another kitchen sink approach and was going to add that in too. Will use neupogen clexane prednisolone 20mg, diabex, baby aspirin, vit e, coq10, progesterone (but not injections-severe reaction and dr m thinks it's harmful to me to have reaction)
    xx
    ECM - yep , I think a lot of things all played a part for me. It was certainly a PIA at times carrying all the various medications and keeping stuff refrigerated etc but if we go for a FET I will do it all again.
    For me I think it's the path of least regret. If I take something that doesn't really make a difference to a bfp outcome and offers no harm then at least I know I tried everything. Alternatively it might be that one thing that tips the scales in our favour... I don't think I will ever know what that one thing was that tipped the scale for us, especially because my body gave no clue (all previous fertility treatment - natural remedies/ IUI/ IVF / ICSI / DE all with and without some immune protocol always gave us a stark BFN).
    For me it's what has me convinced that these two cherubs we have been blessed with were truly meant for us - it's just fortunate we had the fortitude and patience to survive the precursor ...

    FWIW - I had an allergic reaction to the Gestone on our first trip to SA (large, angry, itchy welts that lasted months). The second time I didn't get that reaction at all. I guess in hindsight that was a clear indication that my immune system was 'quiet' enough for a BFP..

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