So sorry for you, following your BFN. It is terribly devastating, painful and draining. I wish there was something I, or anyone could say or do, that would make it hurt less. The emptiness is unbearable and only time can begin to heal it for you.
The women on BH are amazing and help by providing understanding, love, encouragement and hope. I hope being on here begins to help you too, particularly as you determine what is the best next step for you, on your journey.
As a fellow Canadian I was never drawn to undertaking the ED journey here, locally. For all that makes our nation great, this area of fertility keeps us stuck back in the dark ages. Having worked with another fertility clinic in CT and had a devastating and disappointing first experience I can confidently say that CFC is unsurpassed in their care, professionalism and overall experience. I also found them to be honest always. Our doc was Paul LeRoux and he was fabulous!
The many positive stories that I read here before we embarked with our second experience/cycle provided me with the hope and belief that a baby was still a real possibility for us. Switching egg donor agencies also made a HUGE difference.
I'd be happy to provide any additional support that I can to you, to help make "the where to next part" any easier for you - feel free to pm me.
Sending you big hugs.