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  1. #21
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    Definitely call.
    I don't believe much harm will come from one false alarm. But I do believe harm can come from doing nothing.

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  3. #22
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    Quote Originally Posted by GucciDahling View Post
    Definitely call.
    I don't believe much harm will come from one false alarm. But I do believe harm can come from doing nothing.
    Im not sure about that.

    Can you imagine your state of mind if police showed up at your door to check on your parenting?
    I'd be beside myself and my self worth would be bruised if not broken.

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    Quote Originally Posted by ExcuseMyFrench View Post
    Im not sure about that.

    Can you imagine your state of mind if police showed up at your door to check on your parenting?
    I'd be beside myself and my self worth would be bruised if not broken.
    Shouting is domestic violence, in my opinion swearing is not much better particularly in front of minors.

    It sounds like this mother is loosing it. If the child is your average child and diesnot have any issues that makes life that much harder then from whatis described it would seem extremely apparent the mother has sone issues she needs help with.

    If nothing else an officer at the door may just be the wake up call she needs and problem fixed.
    Last edited by DaveTTC; 11-01-2016 at 19:27.

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    I dunno. As A-Squares alluded to there are a lot if variables and it's hard to say unless you were there and could assess the content/tone/temperature/frequency for yourself.
    So I think you are going to have to decide based on what you think it best.

    I will add though that if I thought a child was at risk I wouldn't hesitate to report it. And I am probably less tolerant/less understanding/more easily worried than others.

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  7. #25
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    Default Would you call?

    Quote Originally Posted by ExcuseMyFrench View Post
    Im not sure about that.

    Can you imagine your state of mind if police showed up at your door to check on your parenting?
    I'd be beside myself and my self worth would be bruised if not broken.
    That's fine. We disagree.
    I don't need to imagine my state of mind. I just disagree. I believe I would prefer someone to call and be wrong, than not call at all and be right.

    ETA I'm basing this not on the child perhaps being locked out one time on a maybe hot or maybe not that hot day. I'm basing this on the Op stating she's having periods of screaming and ranting and swearing several times a day. Not a once off

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    Definitely call

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    I would have called on the first day. I reported a neighbour a few weeks ago. It appeared no one else had called. It scared me to hear the yelling so I imagine the young child was terrified.

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    You said it has been over a few days? Does it seem like it came out of nowhere? What has she been like previously? OP I know that I have had times where I've yelled and shouted at my 3 yo DD, told her to stop whinging (unfortunately a three year old's most-used language!) and been known to swear, occasionally within her earshot. I have told her to shut up. None of those things I am proud of. And I'm sure the neighbours heard. But here's the thing, at the time it was happening I was going through a really hard time emotionally. I wasn't diagnosed with post natal depression but my god I felt pretty low. My much loved, very very high spirited DD saw a lot of my anger and sadness. Mind you she also experienced loads of my loving cuddles, book reading, goodnight songs and silliness. In that situation, (and I recognise mine might be totally different from what you have heard and witnessed with your neighbour, OP) I would have hoped my neighbour had come and knocked on my door and gently asked if I was ok, if there was anything I needed help with instead of call the police! I wish they actually had come over at times, as my guilt about being the screaming neighbour made my state of mind even worse!!
    Of course you must go with your gut, OP; only you know exactly what it sounds and looks like, but this is just another perspective to consider.
    I often think that the whole focus on domestic violence, child protection etc being everybody's business (as opposed to the old way of looking the other way as it is just a 'domestic dispute') needs to include more than just being prepared to phone the authorities. Our common social responsibility surely has to include a preparedness to put your neck out, if safe to do so, and check on the wellbeing of those in our community personally.

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    Default Would you call?

    Quote Originally Posted by GucciDahling View Post
    That's fine. We disagree.
    I don't need to imagine my state of mind. I just disagree. I believe I would prefer someone to call and be wrong, than not call at all and be right.

    ETA I'm basing this not on the child perhaps being locked out one time on a maybe hot or maybe not that hot day. I'm basing this on the Op stating she's having periods of screaming and ranting and swearing several times a day. Not a once off
    I missed the part about it being a few times every day. That changes my stance. Definitely call. It sounds like the mum could do with some help.

    ETA: Though tree girl has a point, could it be a cry for help and a conversation with her asking her if she's okay, could be far more effective.
    Last edited by A-Squared; 11-01-2016 at 19:38.

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    Yes call and ask if they can do a welfare check. Tell them you are concerned for the welfare of the child. We need to stop excusing abusive behavioir and start taking action. The community plays a big role in stopping abuse and domestic violence. As a community we need to get out of the " lets not rock the boat/ it's none of our business" mentality and start taking a stand. I don't know the circumstances but if you feel uneasy about it then go with your instinct. Police can refer on to other services if needed and sometimes it can also be a wake up call to get help.

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