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  1. #1
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    Default WWYD re House and Husband

    I need some opinions on my house situation as DH and I can not agree.
    The story is very long so I will cut it super short. We bought a house a couple of years ago after living in the house for a while I hate it, just hate it. It's too big, it's split level over 3 levels, laundry is outside and its needs work about 100k worth. Now the house has an old above ground pool which is leaking and overall is just crap. In order to remove the pool we need additional work done so fences don't start collapsing we where quoted 10k. I do not want to put money into this house it makes me feel sick. We only have 2 kids we work all day so there is no point in this house being big it's just more cleaning for me. DH works 14 hour days and is never home so to him he sees no issue with the house. He doesn't get it and thinks it's silly to downgrade to a small home. But my DH could live in a trailer and see no issue. The only bonus is the location, we live in one of the best streets, 10 min to kids school and DD school bus stops close to our home. The street is leafy with quiet neighbours. So what do I do? I'm so miserable here.
    1. put up with it for a few more years
    2. Sell and downgrade knowing you might not get this location again
    3. Just spend the money and fix it up

  2. #2
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    I would probably start looking around at new places but put up with house as is until I find something I really love.

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  4. #3
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    the question you need to ask yourself is would you be happy in the house after it's been fixed up? that is, is it the house or the problems it currently has that is making you miserable?

    from what you've described, your location sounds ideal. so I'm guessing you're happy where you are.

    is it the sheer size of the house or the volume of work/money/effort required to upkeep it?

    I'd personally be leaning towards fixing it up as it sounds like a good investment, and with a bit more tlc it could be a great family home. when you eventually sell, you'll probably realised the renovation investment plus some.

    start small, get rid of the pool. make a checklist of things that need to be done but divide it up into bite sized pieces so you're not overwhelmed. then run it over a 5 year plan. $110k over 5 years is a bit over $20k a year. work towards that then you could reassess in 5 years. if you're still unhappy then sell, but at least you'll be selling a more desirable property and hopefully that is reflected in the price you get.

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  6. #4
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    This is a tough one.
    Will renovating pay off, not only in terms of liveability but also in terms of value if you decided to sell after renovating? If so, that's what I would probably do, especially since you love the location.
    If you think it will make no difference to your feelings about living there, then maybe moving is the best option. Are there renovations you'd have to do before you could sell? You might need to factor those in before you can move, both in time and money.
    How to make these decisions without your DH on board, I don't know.
    All I can suggest is sitting down with him, when you won't be interrupted and explain how you feel, the impact this place is having and what your suggested resolution is. I would also point out that you spend the most time in the home and it's condition has greatest impact on you.
    Good luck xxx

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    What TC said.

    Maybe if you can afford it then take out a loan to renovate and spend the next 6 months focussing on nothing but getting it done.

    If you do decide to sell now keep in mind that you probably won't get the best price for your place in its current condition, you'll have to pay agents fees to sell the current house and also stamp duty on the next place you buy. Depending on which state your in and what house prices are like - that could be a good chunk of the renovation costs.

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    Thanks guys. The thing I think that gets me angry is we worked really hard to buy a house and we keep working hard to pay if off but I feel like I'm working for something I don't like, which doesn't motivate me. Renovating over a period of time is probably the suggestion that DH would go with the most. If we sell we would make not make a lot of money by the time we pay stamp duty, lawyer, real estate agent etc we would probably break even but have a smaller place. That's DH arguement and I know he is right. He does want me to be happy but I think he is also overwhelmed by the place and he is really easy going and not house proud at all.

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    Quote Originally Posted by Janesmum123 View Post
    Thanks guys. The thing I think that gets me angry is we worked really hard to buy a house and we keep working hard to pay if off but I feel like I'm working for something I don't like, which doesn't motivate me. Renovating over a period of time is probably the suggestion that DH would go with the most. If we sell we would make not make a lot of money by the time we pay stamp duty, lawyer, real estate agent etc we would probably break even but have a smaller place. That's DH arguement and I know he is right. He does want me to be happy but I think he is also overwhelmed by the place and he is really easy going and not house proud at all.
    Would a trip to a showroom with new kitchen and bathrooms motivate you?

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    We sold our last house because we hated it. The house needed so much work but because the mortgage was big for us we couldn't afford to do the work. It was actually a knock down job, and we weren't in love with the area (had been looking in the country anyway). If renovating is going to be difficult (too time consuming/expensive) I would personally move. Life is too short to be living in a house you hate (different for renters though).

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    the OP has pointed out they love the area though so I think it goes beyond just the house itself.

    agree that mortgage size will determine how much free cash you'll have to play with. if you're mortgaged to the back teeth then having extra money (unless you borrow it) may be difficult. if the mortgage is easily serviceable and you both have excess funds saved (or do a mix of using savings and financing) then I'd be looking at the fix up option.

    it sounds like the house itself is in a desirable area which you may not be able to get into again if you sell.

    why not go through a few showrooms and/or talk to a few people about project managing what needs to be done and see if it sounds more achievable. it may be a huge psychological obstacle that is broken down a bit after you start talking to the experts

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    Quote Originally Posted by babyno1onboard View Post
    Would a trip to a showroom with new kitchen and bathrooms motivate you?
    Ha more than likely.


 

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