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  1. #1
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    Default Sad and angry 7 year old....

    I've been having a lot of behaviour issues with my 7 year old. She has a lot of anger particularly towards me. I had a chat to her and she told me she's sad, and she's angry at me because I'm the one who moved out of the house with her when she was 3 (separation from her dad). We then moved a couple of hours away from her dad a couple of years ago which resulted in her seeing him less often. She said she is sad and wants to moved back near her dad so she can see him more, but at the same time she doesn't want to leave her school.

    My problem is, I'm seriously considering what she wants and thinking that moving back might be a good idea. But she has already been to 3 schools and she's only about to start year 2. I don't think moving her to another school will be a good idea as she struggled with the last move. But moving closer to her dad would make her happier. Moving is a big hassle but i would do it if it stopped her from being so sad. I'm really stuck on which would be better, move and be closer but she'd have to change schools again, or stay here in the same school and continue seeing her dad every second weekend.

    Any advice please, I'm stuck. Thanks.

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    Mm tough gig..for you and for her. I think the question really is how does her dad feel about it? Is he a committed dad who wants to be more involved or will her let her down if you move closer? If he's not going to be as invested in the relationship as she is it may not be beneficial to move but if it is going to be good for their relationship then I would seriously consider it. Are you prepared to let go and share parenting more?
    I think child/father relationships are really really important, and I personally do everything I can to foster a strong loving relationship between my exDH and my 3 children... it's not always easy, and it helps that he is a great dad. They see him/call him whenever they want and we have a respectful relationship

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  4. #3
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    Quote Originally Posted by Kaybaby View Post
    Mm tough gig..for you and for her. I think the question really is how does her dad feel about it? Is he a committed dad who wants to be more involved or will her let her down if you move closer? If he's not going to be as invested in the relationship as she is it may not be beneficial to move but if it is going to be good for their relationship then I would seriously consider it. Are you prepared to let go and share parenting more?
    I think child/father relationships are really really important, and I personally do everything I can to foster a strong loving relationship between my exDH and my 3 children... it's not always easy, and it helps that he is a great dad. They see him/call him whenever they want and we have a respectful relationship
    Yes she has a great dad. We has a good arrangement when we lived close. She spent 2 days with him one week and then 3 days the next week alternating like that.

    The problem is she wants both, moving back and staying at this school. She was crying because she wants both but knows she can't have both. I was leaning towards moving but 4 schools in 2.5 years?! And she'd have to move mid-year again, which was hard the last 2 times.

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    How is your relationship with him?

    I ask, as is this something you can raise with him? Any chance he could move closer so that she can have best of both worlds, or would that impossible within his own work/life situation?

    Such a tough choice to make. x

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    I thought the same as above, can you raise the issue with her dad to see if he could move closer?

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    Talk with dad if possible, or I truly believe you should move closer to him or him you. It's not ideal that she's moving schools again after a short time there. How ever, I really believe this could be something that will affect her for the rest of her life. Good luck.

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    Why did you move away from your ex in the first place? Is that reason still an issue?

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    I think that the positives outweigh the negatives, from what you are saying. Moving schools again isn't as big an issue if it means she will get to spend more time with her dad who is actually committed and interested. I went to 6 primary schools and I turned out OK! I also had a useless father who moved overseas when I was young and I didn't get to see him much at all (he wasn't interested) and I know which one has been more damaging.

    If there wasn't a big problem that caused you to move in the first place I'd consider moving back. I think your daughter will thank you in the long run even though she will have temporary pain from moving schools.

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    If you are reluctant to move mid year could you plan for an end of year move? It might improve her mood for now and you could move at an easier time.

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    Her dad and I have a good relationship, we are good friends. The reason I moved was I was having health problems and had to quit work. I could no longer afford to live in the city area so I had to move somewhere cheaper. I'm in the process now of getting back into the workforce so as long as I can get a job I can afford to live there again.

    I have suggested he move down here, but he doesn't want to. Although this was before I realised my daughter was so upset about this. So he doesn't know how bad it is yet. I do understand why he wouldn't want to move after doing it myself. It's so far from everyone and it would be too far for his work.

    The reason for the mid year move is that my lease expires at the end of April and the rental market has slowed so it's a good time to be applying now, I have a good chance of getting a house in a good area.


 

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