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  1. #11
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    Default How do you tell your toddler 'No'?

    What Renn said.
    If you allow them to do something the novelty wears off, and they'll move on.
    Anything you don't want them to touch- move it or block it off so they can't.
    If they get hurt shutting doors or cupboards, touching a hot cup etc they won't keep doing it! Mess can be cleaned up.

    My dd trashed the joint getting into everything for a little while around that age but then stopped as there was nothing new to touch or go through and no attention in doing it either.

    Eta: I actually miss those days. At least she kept herself entertained without involving me. I never bothered with saying no or stop over and over as it was a waste of time at that age-

    Save stop for when you really need it.
    Last edited by Little Miss Sunshine; 05-01-2016 at 16:31.

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  3. #12
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    ^^^ yep my boy had the run of the house.

  4. #13
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    Do not utter it. Or you will hear it on repeat for the next few years lol.

    I am a blabbermouth and usually said/say 'we do not touch/do xx because it hurts/can break etc etc. I always explained it to him. He gets it sometimes at almost 3. At 14 months I just distracted or let him go. Less stressful. I found stern voices/yelling does not do a thing with DS. Selective hearing - toddlers have that skill and use it lots.

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  6. #14
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    I don't have a toddler, but have found that just saying "no" is useless.

    I usually say things like, "No that will hurt", "Careful that's hot", "Quick move away", etc.

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    I'm also hitting this stage with my 18 month old. "No" seems pretty useless. I've started explaining why not and offering an alternative activity or distracting by asking him to go check or get something for me (a particular toy etc). If he persists providing a consequence if he decides to keep doing it. "I've asked you nicely to stop but now if you choose to do it again this will happen". So far it seems to be working. For example, if you do it again then outside playtime will be over and you'll have to come back inside.
    I agree with the previous post about picking your battles too. If it's not dangerous then I generally let him explore, I think kids generally need to explore their curiosity so unless it's causing harm I generally don't stress too much about it
    Good luck!

  8. #16
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    I read a great article recently (cant find it again though!) about disciplining toddlers. The main points were -
    - whatever you say, make it short, sharp, to the point. Something like "feet on the floor" Or "Dont touch! Hot." Saying to a one year old "mummy doesnt want you to touch the oven because its hot. It will burn your fingers. Please move away from the hot oven" - is pretty meaningless. Be succinct
    - Move them away - to another activity
    - Distract
    My 3rd baby is now a toddler, & there isnt much I dont let her touch around home. My first wasnt allowed to do anything without me telling her off I was worried I would have a kid who walked all over me & was making 'a rod for my own back' as my parents would say. Pffffft! My first wasnt allowed to touch the TV remote, my 3rd I hand the remote to her & say 'here! Amuse yourself with this for a minute' (I do stop her when she starts removing the batteries though lol). Pick your battles!

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  10. #17
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    Thanks so much for all your replies.

    I definitely do try to pick my battles, and have moved what I can up, away, etc. I try to be fairly relaxed about most things. Some things are still dangerous or annoying though!

    For example, pulling the cat's tail is something DS loves doing, but I can't seem to get him to stop! I thought that a few scratches from our cat would stop him, but nope, DS keeps doing it! Poor cat...

    I guess I'll keep going with the distraction as best I can, until he can understand things more - eg consequences of doing things.

    Using STOP for real emergencies is a good idea, thanks. I agree with a previous poster - at the moment, DS finds my loud and serious voice funny too! Sigh... sounds like lots more of the same to come!

    Eta - letting the novelty wear off for things that are just annoying is a good idea too - thanks.
    Last edited by JustJaq; 05-01-2016 at 21:56.

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    Quote Originally Posted by JustJaq View Post
    Thanks so much for all your replies.

    I definitely do try to pick my battles, and have moved what I can up, away, etc. I try to be fairly relaxed about most things. Some things are still dangerous or annoying though!

    For example, pulling the cat's tail is something DS loves doing, but I can't seem to get him to stop! I thought that a few scratches from our cat would stop him, but nope, DS keeps doing it! Poor cat...

    I guess I'll keep going with the distraction as best I can, until he can understand things more - eg consequences of doing things.

    Using STOP for real emergencies is a good idea, thanks. I agree with a previous poster - at the moment, DS finds my loud and serious voice funny too! Sigh... sounds like lots more of the same to come!
    With the cat you could do "Ow!! Sad cat!!) and a sad face and then walk away from your DS with the cat and give the cats some loves and pats.
    I'm well past toddlers but I also child proofed the house, even the oven after my oldest son burned both the palms of his hands on the hot oven when he was nine months old (I was in the kitchen at the time )
    Your little man is still so young and really doesn't have the ability to understand discipline or consequences but you'll get there I promise.

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  13. #19
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    Thank you. I think DS would find my sad face funny too, but worth a go, thanks. ☺

    Scary that your DS burned his palms on the oven with you there. I've relied on being there to watch him being enough when the oven is on, but might need to think more about it...

  14. #20
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    Quote Originally Posted by JustJaq View Post
    Thank you. I think DS would find my sad face funny too, but worth a go, thanks. ☺

    Scary that your DS burned his palms on the oven with you there. I've relied on being there to watch him being enough when the oven is on, but might need to think more about it...
    Sometimes the key can be the removal of your attention and placing it onto someone/something else like the poor cat, but again, he's really, really little still.
    And yep, the hand burning still gives me the mega guilts and he's nearly eight!
    You're doing an amazing job

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