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  1. #11
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    I didn't take my 3 year old to my Mum's funeral. Many reasons but the main ones were that I didn't feel it was the right place for him and I wanted to grieve without worrying what he was doing. It was also the first time I left him with anybody other than DH or my parents! I have still only done it one other time.

    Could you take them but have someone look after them during the service? Then they could come for the more informal part and meet your family?

    It sounds like it's just me but I think funerals are very solemn events for young children and difficult for them to process.

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    I would take your children and just ask DH to take them out if needed.

    I've been to 3 funerals sine having my first.
    he was

    ----11 months. He was in the pram. i stood at the back and took him to the reception area when he got ratty. this was my dads aunts granddaughter . i didn't know her but went as I'm close to dads aunt.

    ----19 months. sat him in the pram. my mum took outside when ratty. my besties mum.

    -----2y 10m. I got my brother to mind him at the beach (service and wake were held across the road. when we returned from the cemetary my brother brought him over and they joined us for the wake. it was my dads workmate who was also a friend and around 90% of the time until i was in high school and they lost contact as they changed jobs...at the wake his wife was shocked to see i was a mum, and then asked why i didn't have my son at the service as she knew how much heelr husband thought of me and would have loved to have had my son there...

  3. #13
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    We took our 3.5yr old to DH's grandfather's funeral. It was a graveside service followed by a wake. I kept DD with me & she either played quietly at my feet or cuddled me & listened to the service. I had books etc in the car as a backup if she got too noisy/cranky. I think if you play it by ear & have a plan to distract/entertain small children it is fine.

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  4. #14
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    I would take them, and then if you didnt want them at the service, get your DH to take them somewhere else just for the service

  5. #15
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    I took my ds to my granddads funeral. He was really young , about 2 I think. When he started getting ratty Mum and I just took him outside. I hate parents that bring their kids to things and then don't take them outside when they start crying. Really rude IMO.

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    I would absolutely take them but be prepared for some of the oldies to tutt tutt your decision

    When DH's grandma passed away I spoke to his mum about whether to bring the children. She really wanted them there and said grandma would have as well. They were 5, 2 and 1. The family were wonderful but we got a few comments at the wake from her friends that were horrible distasteful

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    I'd probably take them. When my grandfather passed away DS was only 3mo and breastfed and the funeral was interstate, so he had to come with me. DH wanted to be there for me and my parents so both DH and our DD (3.5yo at the time) also came along. I sat in the front with DD and my family, DH stood at the back with DS in the pram during the service. DD didn't really understand what was going on but seemed to pick up on the mood and was quite subdued. It was mostly elderly people at the funeral (my dads family is very small and it was mostly attended by other veterans and military officials) but we didn't get a single negative comment about having the children with us. My dad also appreciated have them there and said it really helped get him through the day.

    I'm sorry for your loss.

  8. #18
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    My boys were 3.5 and 18 months when their Nanna passed away. We sat right up the front and I just gave the boys a matchbox car each and a book each. They were (surprisingly lol) perfect. If they had of started being noisy etc, I would've taken them outside. XHs family were very appreciative that the boys were there and I know XMIL would've loved it.

    Thinking of you during this sad time xxx


 

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