I'm so sorry for the loss of your little girl. It is so cruel and unimaginable for a parent to have to say goodbye to their dearly loved child.
I lost my daughter, Edith, at 38 + 2 in July 2014 due to a cord accident. Eadie is my second child, I had a 3.5 year old son at the time.
I think its really normal for parents to grieve differently, I know I was in total shock for quite a while and it just didn't feel real, whereas DP was really emotional in the first few weeks. When the numbness wore off I was, and still often am, an absolute mess. Its allowed!
The hospital contacted Sids and Kids for us and I have found their support invaluable. Their counsellors have all lost a child, so they actually 'get' just how horrific it is. They also run support groups, playgroups for siblings (which I found great as its' really hard when you have living children trying to come to terms with losing their sibling when all their friends get to bring theirs home), and peer to peer programs where you can be paired with someone who has had a similar experience, but is further down the track. They also have a 24-hour crisis support line.
I'm so sorry you are going through this and I hope you can find some moments of peace in the difficult days ahead xx