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  1. #41
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    Default Kissing toddlers on the lips - WDYT?

    urgh was confronted with this last night. I can't stand it. apart from seeming a bit pervy, I can't stand it for the germ factor!

    I'm pregnant and had a 2 year old thrust at me for a kiss. I offered my cheek and was told by the parents "we're teaching her to kiss on the lips". wtf. I didn't want to be rude but no way am I kidsing a germy kid, so I just said sorry, I don't like kissing on the lips. they seemed ok with it.

    I don't like it from a child's perspective either. what if an adult has a cold sore? or some peedo type that gets off on little kids?

    lips is for 2 adults kissing, that's what I'll be teaching my kids anyway.
    Last edited by turquoisecoast; 03-01-2016 at 05:21.

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  3. #42
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    Default Kissing toddlers on the lips - WDYT?

    I don't really think it's pervy, I just don't like the sensation of people's lips on mine except my husband's, it grosses me out. TC, read back for my coldsore explanations.

    My dad kisses my sisters and I on the lips and I remember him doing it when he would greet his mom. He actually doesn't do it with me as often as with my sister and I assume that's because I said something when I was younger or just avoided it and he got the hint that I don't like it. I don't really see why not kissing on the lips has to be that big of a deal.

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  5. #43
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    I just don't like it. I was taught growing up that lips are for adults/lovers and not for kids.

    no way do I want anyone kissing my kids on the lips.

    I'm not saying it's pervy every time it happens, I'm saying with the wrong person (ie someone with the wrong inclinations) it could be pervy. like a creepy uncle or something.

  6. #44
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    When I was a young girl, I had a "creepy uncle" who used to kiss me on the lips (he had married into my family, so not a blood-relation). I hated it, and quickly learned to avoid him.

    I obviously had reasonable instinct, as I am sorry to report that this piece of human excrement went on to sexually-abuse his daughter, and my little sister.

    Hence, my opinion on this subject is very clouded.

    I give my 5-year-old son, and 2-year-old daughter, mostly lots of kisses on their cheeks and foreheads, and big squishie cuddles! But I am their Mummy. Lucy often gives me slobbery kisses on the lips, but she's allowed too if she chooses

    If my BILs kissed them on the lips, I would say something. However, neither of my BILs are even remotely sleezy, and I doubt they would want to kiss my kids on the lips.

    If my sister or SIL kissed them on the lips, and my kids were happy doing that, I wouldn't have an issue. For the record, they don't. Neither does my Mum.

    So yes, I have big gender double-standards!

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    Last edited by J37; 03-01-2016 at 06:13.

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  8. #45
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    As a child I have memories of kissing mum and dad on the lips. At some point though I became more aware of how I felt about it and started kissing on the cheek instead. I don't have an issue with mum/dad/kids doing it, but I don't think it should be something the extended family do. I never kissed my grandparents/aunts/uncles on the lips. I've only ever kissed one cousin on the lips but he was about 18mths old and I had no choice lol. Those slobbery lips were coming whether I liked it or not! I remember visiting a one of mums work friends, I would have been about 8 I think and her 2 younger daughters were trying to kiss my sister and I on the lips (like grabbing head and trying to force it). I still remember to this day how I felt and I didn't like it. I'm sure it was harmless, but I felt really trapped and uncomfortable.

    OP I don't know how you'll go with the whole "exclusion zone" analogy as it may be confusing to your DS to being told one thing at home and seeing something completely different out in the rest of the world. I would more just explain to your MIL that you would prefer she kiss your DS on the cheek/forehead/head/nose and let your DS develop his own boundaries. Just remember that things you say/teach your kids now will stick with them for life. It may end up creating more problems as he gets older if he's been told his entire childhood that we don't kiss on the lips/it's an exclusion zone/no one is allowed to kiss him there etc. It may not of course, I think you just need to be mindful of the way you explain it to him and the words you use.

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    why do the words "exclusion zone" need to be used? it's not a no-go area, it's just an area for adults/mummies and daddies to use. I agree teaching the child it's a no-go area will create confusion as they'll see parents/adults kissing on the lips and it won't make sense given what they've been told. rather than teaching them it's an outright wrong area to kiss, I'd be more inclined to just say it's for adults/mum & dad.

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    I actually find it insulting someone thinks me pecking my child on the lips is "pervy" or anything sexual.

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  14. #48
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    Default Kissing toddlers on the lips - WDYT?

    Quote Originally Posted by Wise Enough View Post
    I actually find it insulting someone thinks me pecking my child on the lips is "pervy" or anything sexual.
    ok I'm starting to get annoyed with how you can't say anything on bubhub without someone taking it as a personal attack and out of context.

    please find in my original post where I've explicitly said "it's pervy when parents kiss their child on the lips"

    if you're choosing to hone in on my post and take offence, bully for you.

    I really don't care what you, or anyone else, does with their kid. kiss them on the bum for all I care. my point, which you've managed to gloss over and take totally out of context, was that kissing on the lips has the potential to blur some lines and for the "wrong sort" to use it as an opportunity to be pervy.

    I'm not talking about mums and bubs sharing a quick peck at bedtime.

  15. #49
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    Quote Originally Posted by Wise Enough View Post
    I actually find it insulting someone thinks me pecking my child on the lips is "pervy" or anything sexual.
    I think you're taking it out of context. We all grew up differently and we all have different boundaries.

    If you're comfortable with kissing your kids on the lips that's great, but you need to understand that not everyone feels that way. We all have experiences over out lifetimes that shape our views.

    Also most people who have used the words pervy is with extended family and people other than a child's own parents.

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    Quote Originally Posted by Wise Enough View Post
    I actually find it insulting someone thinks me pecking my child on the lips is "pervy" or anything sexual.
    I don't think anyone is disputing that parents should/shouldn't kiss their kids on the lips, but rather other people- grandparents, aunts, uncles, friends etc

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