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  1. #21
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    I can't stand kids and adults kissing on the lips especially for the germ reason yuck!
    I'd just tell her no lip kissing please!
    Or even tell your son when they do it eg: stop kissing nanny or whoever he calls her on the lips kiss her on the cheek.
    If you say it every time I'm sure they'll get the hint

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  3. #22
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    Quote Originally Posted by Sally1981 View Post
    I have no intention of telling him 'your body. Your choice'. My intention is to tell him that while he is a child, no adult is allowed to touch him in certain places, even if he thinks he wants them to. So no, not hypocritical.
    Fair enough. For me, in the context of our family, I don't mind if he offers his lips, or cheek to his grandma or grandpa if they ask for a kiss. I think it's his choice how he displays his affection towards people he knows, loves and trusts. I'm a huge advocate for bodily autonomy and that means for me that I don't tell him what to do or not to do if it is appropriate and reasonable. Of course as he gets older he will learn more about his body belonging to him but he has only just turned two and it is not something that needs to be discussed beyond him choosing to kiss someone or not if he's asked.

    Our difference I suppose is that you don't consider kissing on the lips to be appropriate or reasonable in your family so perhaps a gentle reminder to MIL that you don't like it, and tell DS to offer his cheek next time, or prompt him.

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  5. #23
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    Quote Originally Posted by rainbow road View Post
    I think it's hypocritical to say to your child "your body, your choice" and then say but you can't kiss grandma on the lips even if that is something you're comfortable with. So yes, hypocritical was the word I was after.
    if you tell your kid it's their body their choice but don't let them jump off a bridge ... is that hypocritical too?

  6. #24
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    Quote Originally Posted by VicPark View Post
    if you tell your kid it's their body their choice but don't let them jump off a bridge ... is that hypocritical too?
    That's a big leap and you know it.

    I've explained my position in the post above, reasonably and contextually, thanks.

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    I don't really think I have paid attention to whether my kids grandparents kiss their lips or not! In terms of what you should do, I think it depends on how big of a deal it is to you and whether saying something is likely to harm your relationship with your MIL and/or your DH.

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    Quote Originally Posted by rainbow road View Post
    That's a big leap and you know it.

    I've explained my position in the post above, reasonably and contextually, thanks.
    Sorry that post hadn't appeared when I typed my response.

    I think it's totally reasonable for a parent to encourage a behavior (such as bodily autonomy) and then have exceptions due to a variety of reasons other than appropriateness (eg age - depending on age a message about certain bodily contact not being ok may become diluted if the child is allowed to make their own call on things like kissing on the lips.).

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    I have no issues with myself or my husband kissing our kids on the lips. I do have issues with my relatives particularly my FIL kissing my daughters on the lips, I find it disturbing and wrong. My girls are only 3 and 1 but it still makes my skin crawl so something will be said next time. I only realised he was doing it when I happened to turn around at the right time and see it, luckily my toddler turned her head at the last minute and he got her cheek.

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  14. #28
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    Quote Originally Posted by VicPark View Post
    Sorry that post hadn't appeared when I typed my response.

    I think it's totally reasonable for a parent to encourage a behavior (such as bodily autonomy) and then have exceptions due to a variety of reasons other than appropriateness (eg age - depending on age a message about certain bodily contact not being ok may become diluted if the child is allowed to make their own call on things like kissing on the lips.).
    I agree.

    However, the post is titled "what do you think" and I was simply stating what I think.

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    Quote Originally Posted by VicPark View Post
    Sorry that post hadn't appeared when I typed my response.

    I think it's totally reasonable for a parent to encourage a behavior (such as bodily autonomy) and then have exceptions due to a variety of reasons other than appropriateness (eg age - depending on age a message about certain bodily contact not being ok may become diluted if the child is allowed to make their own call on things like kissing on the lips.).
    This is pretty much my reasoning (that and the germs).

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    There are two very different camps on this subject. Each to their own.
    As far as I am concerned - Grandparents, aunties, uncles, friends etc etc should greet your children the exact same way they greet you. If it is inappropriate to kiss you on the lips then it is inappropriate to kiss the children on the lips.
    If you all want to kiss on the lips go for it.
    But if you say no I wouldn't kiss my mil/Fil, mum/dad, brother/sister on the lips then why should your children? If you think it is ok for the kids to do it, why is it not ok for you to do it?


 

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