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  1. #91
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    Maybe the seating arrangements because I did mention something about that, and they expected me to go earlier and tell people where to go and sit.

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    why don't you just text her and ask if she had a nice time at the baptism or something to break the ice a bit?

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  4. #93
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    Quote Originally Posted by turquoisecoast View Post
    why don't you just text her and ask if she had a nice time at the baptism or something to break the ice a bit?
    No, her Facebook msg had a cold feeling to it. It's ok. I don't mind. I've done nothing wrong.

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    Quote Originally Posted by Nafsika View Post
    Maybe the seating arrangements because I did mention something about that, and they expected me to go earlier and tell people where to go and sit.
    Did they need your help? Did you explain why you couldn't help? How did the conversation about that go? Was it polite and well received?

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    Quote Originally Posted by VicPark View Post
    Did they need your help? Did you explain why you couldn't help? How did the conversation about that go? Was it polite and well received?
    The husband said since I'm not going to the church to go to the hall (which wasn't really a hall) and wait for the guests and tell them where they will be seated. I did agree but also said I've got kids which I might run late. By the time we got there everyone was already there, in the meantime Hubby had decided not to attend but we did.

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    Quote Originally Posted by Nafsika View Post
    The husband said since I'm not going to the church to go to the hall (which wasn't really a hall) and wait for the guests and tell them where they will be seated. I did agree but also said I've got kids which I might run late. By the time we got there everyone was already there, in the meantime Hubby had decided not to attend but we did.
    I dare say the host is miffed that you didn't get to the hall early. They may also be disappointed at your hubby's no show?

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    We all went together and I don't think it's a guests job to tell people where to sit.

    They should of pinned up the guest list. And each person can look until they got there.

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    Default Dress codes.....

    Quote Originally Posted by Nafsika View Post
    We all went together and I don't think it's a guests job to tell people where to sit.

    They should of pinned up the guest list. And each person can look until they got there.
    But sorry, didn't you agree to do it? I imagine he thought when you said you might be a bit late you meant 5 minutes, not after every single other person had arrived.
    The strict dress code actually makes a bit more sense to me now- you were actually meant to be part of the proceedings!
    Last edited by FearlessLeader; 18-01-2016 at 18:48.

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    Quote Originally Posted by Nafsika View Post
    We all went together and I don't think it's a guests job to tell people where to sit.

    They should of pinned up the guest list. And each person can look until they got there.
    Where I'm from being asked to seat guests is a sign that soemone respects you, thinks you are important and wants to include you in the big day.

    Why didn't your hubby attend? Why couldn't your hubby take care of the kids so you could get to the hall on time? Unless your hubby had a really good excuse (extremely sick, is a doctor and got called to an emergency etc) I could understand why the hosts maybe upset with you/your hubby.

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  15. #100
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    TheGooch is offline Winner 2014 - Newbie of the Year
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    Quote Originally Posted by VicPark View Post
    Where I'm from being asked to seat guests is a sign that soemone respects you, thinks you are important and wants to include you in the big day.

    Why didn't your hubby attend? Why couldn't your hubby take care of the kids so you could get to the hall on time? Unless your hubby had a really good excuse (extremely sick, is a doctor and got called to an emergency etc) I could understand why the hosts maybe upset with you/your hubby.
    Where I'm from, being given a job is also a sign of respect, trust and inclusion.

    But, traditional etiquette would say that giving or expecting guests to do jobs isn't polite. That someone is a guest or they're the help.
    So whilst it might be the nice thing to do to agree and help, it shouldn't be expected.
    And I also think it depends on where you fit in terms of the guest hierarchy.
    I could give jobs to my sister, who would expect it and find a job to do anyway at an event like this. But I couldn't give a job to one of DH's mates from 3 workplaces ago that I barely know. So I'm not sure I do understand why the host is annoyed.

    One thing though Op, be careful not to assign negativity where none may exist. You know the host of course. But instead of assuming something is wrong based on a Facebook message or whatever, I'd suggest either asking outright if something is up or assume nothing is until you're told outright.

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