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  1. #1
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    Default Surprise baby - shocked and scared

    I've been with BH for quite some time now and already have two kiddies. Our second child is almost 10 months.

    We were having a fairly quiet day today and I realised that I was due for my period. Given that my baby is only almost 10 months and fully breastfed, my cycles have been a bit all over the place. But for some reason (I really don't know why) I did an IC pregnancy test just because.

    At first as the dye ran across the test I thought I saw a shadow of a line. My heart skipped a beat but I brushed it off as nothing and washed my hands. The second I dried my hands I picked up the test and it was there, faint but clear as day. A second, positive line.

    No way. I started shaking and my heart raced. I was completely shocked. We've been careful, but it seems not careful enough. This baby is not planned at all. We were happy with just our two babies, although I did have the urge for a third from time to time, the idea of a third child scares me. I'm really petrified.

    I broke the news to hubby who is also in shock. He did say that he supports me no matter what, but the word "termination" was thrown around too. I honestly don't think I could go down that path. But then, the thought of a third child still really scares me.

    This was not the way I had in mind to seeing out 2015. We had plans in the pipeline for 2016 which will change now.

    I really do feel lost as to what to do. I haven't had the chance to have a full, proper discussion with DH yet.

    Obviously this is a decision I have to make myself, but does anyone have any guidance at all? I'm scared, confused, maybe even a little excited?!

  2. #2
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    No guidance, but just wanted to say that I hope you reach a decision you're happy and comfortable with.

    My strategy is always to make a list. Maybe some key points of plans either way, and then flip a coin. You don't have to follow what the coin says, but your instant gut reaction will let you know what you really want.

  3. #3
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    We had a surprise 4th baby and I found out at the end of 2012. I was overwhelmed at the thought of 4. I had a job I enjoyed and was happy to be out of baby stage everything. I had also given pretty much everything away.

    Termination was never an option. I am 100% pro choice but not for me. We were financially able to care for a 4th so it just wasn't an option. I also knew I would regret it for the rest of my life.

    Our happy accident is now just over 2 years old. We have had to make so many changes to accommodate a 4th but every single one has been worth it. She's my joy and my miracle. My kids adore her. She's an absolute live wire though and can really test my patience at times.

    You will be ok. Congratulations. It's hard to get your head around initially but if you do go ahead you will be fine.

  4. #4
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    Thank you. I know we could make it work if we really wanted to. I'm also pro choice but I cannot bring myself to terminate. I've had miscarriages previously so I know my body will work itself out.

    One moment I'll be happy, the next moment I'm scared, and then the next moment I'm crying. So many emotions. So much to think about.

  5. #5
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    It's new and unexpected. Emotions running amok is normal. Give yourself processing time. You'll make it work, and your DH is supportive. Hugs to you x

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  7. #6
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    Thanks for your support. Woke up feeling completely anxious this morning!

  8. #7
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    That must have been a real shock. I'm sure it will all work out xx

  9. #8
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    HUGE shock! Still don't know how it even happened. And I did the hpt so randomly not expecting it to be positive. We had so much trouble conceiving our other two that this baby is a major surprise!

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    If I try and work out dates I *think* I may be due on September 2nd

  11. #10
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    One thing having a surprise baby did was force us to make some permanent decisions about birth control. When I was 6 months DH got the snip. Best decision ever. As much as I love my surprise baby I know I wouldn't cope with a 5th.


 

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