Well, I was messaging a guy on Tinder briefly. All was nice until about three messages in, he started talking about s.ex and my foreplay preferences.
I quit. I'm off to look at more cats in the rescue groups.
NO NO NO don't use tinder!! That's basically for hook ups. Which is fine if that's what you want, no judgement here. Don't give up :-)
Back in the day I used rsvp. Always get some guys messaging trying it on for a meaningful overnight relationship but can weed them out reasonably well with chat conversations, progress to phone call, then coffee then go from there. Don't give up just yet 😊
I met my wonderful DP through RSVP and we was my second only date (unheard of, I know!). My profile was short and sweet and I deliberately did NOT list my requirements in my profile page (the part where most people go on and on and on about what they do and don't want and basically make themselves look awful). All it said was something like
"Have been single for a while but I'm ready to let someone special into my life". That's literally about all I said and I of course had some 'preferences' in the section where you get to put your height, body type, dietary requirements, religion, stuff like that.
I think it's important to find someone on a similar wavelength and never underestimate the importance of having similar tastes in food. My DP is a big meat eater and was not at all interested in vegetarians/vegans, no matter how wonderful they appeared. Most importantly, be honest.
Anyway, I guess my experience is very much influenced by my good fortune in having met my DP, I think I'm the exception. I joined RSVP and fully intended to go on lots of dates and my method/plan was to meet very quickly after initial contact rather than 'chat' online or by phone for a lengthy time. Everyone seems charming online and over the phone, but meeting in person is the only way to see if the chemistry is there. DP and I clicked immediately and I was attracted to him straight away too.
As a parent I found it hard to meet people. The odds of meeting someone through Internet dating are way higher, you've just got to put yourself out there and be willing to give it a go. And I'm sure not all men would be put off by your living arrangement.
Last edited by Hollywood; 07-01-2016 at 20:16.
Hey OP, I don't have any advise or recommendations but just wanted to send some good vibes your way. You have a tough gig with 3 kids on your own. Hats off to you.
Copied and pasted from my FB....
I had an epiphany today. About my single status.
Despite being single for 7 years, I have decided that I'm still not ready to put myself out there completely. It's definitely not because I'm still hung up on my ex husband lol so please calm your farm loved ones! I believe it's because I find it very hard to let someone in. I have always been very insecure in romantic relationships and my last relationship just about did me in. I lost all respect and faith in myself and became downtrodden and complacent. I don't ever want to be that person again. I am not that person anymore but I still don't think that I am 100% fixed yet. It didn't take long to tear me down but it's taking a long time to build myself up.
Also, it's not just me I need to consider anymore. I have three little people who only have me as a traditional parent. I like to call mum, their granny, my co-parent though, lucky her hehe. But in all seriousness, I need to consider my kids feelings in all of this. I know that they would love another male in their lives but it isn't something that any of us can take lightly. It would ideally take a long time for me to introduce a man to my kids anyway, when the time comes that I do meet someone.
I know I'm probably rambling so I'll finish up in a minute. I have gotten rid of the dating apps again and feel that this time it'll be for good. I honestly believe that I'll meet a man, or many men (hehe) face to face, not online. I know of many people who have met their soul mates online but I don't believe it's the way I will. I'm not sure HOW I'll meet these men when the time comes for me to start dating but I'm sure I'll think of something. Maybe I'll take up bird watching? LOL!!!
Thank you to all of those who have offered advice and your personal experiences when I've shared my Tinder and other online dating woes, I truly appreciate it all.
As for now, it's just me and my babies and that is so good right now.
Well at least you've realised that and you seem content with the situation. If that's how you feel you probably are better to leave it to chance. That way it'll happen when you least expect it. Nothing at all wrong with that
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