+ Reply to Thread
Page 1 of 2 12 LastLast
Results 1 to 10 of 19
  1. #1
    Join Date
    Jun 2010
    Location
    Toowoomba
    Posts
    5,371
    Thanks
    6,102
    Thanked
    2,748
    Reviews
    0
    Achievements:Topaz Star - 500 postsAmber Star - 2,000 postsAmethyst Star - 5,000 posts
    Awards:
    200 Posts in a weekBusiest Member of the Week - Week ended 24/7/2014100 Posts in a week

    Default Blah.

    As of this coming February, I've been single for 7 years. Completely single. No dates, no hand holding, no kissing, no funky action... Nothing. Not even any attraction. Zilch.

    I'm 36 and have three kids aged 10, 8 and 6. I have the kids full time, their father never has them and has next to nothing to do with them. That won't be changing anytime soon. The kids and I live with my mum as I struggle a lot on my own (hats off to all of you who do it on your own, you are amazing).

    I rarely go out. I went out twice this year and was home in bed by 11pm lol.

    I've tried online dating but it just doesn't seem to work for me. During this year, I started texting a guy but when I told him that I had my kids full time and lived with my mum, he stopped texting hahahaha. Fair enough.

    That's as far as I've ever gotten! I would love to meet someone, even if it is just as a friendship. Just meeting a male who I'm not related to and who has similar likes as me would be amazing!

    This year, I've been on POF and Tinder. I've tried E Harmony in the past and a couple of others.

    Any tips?

  2. #2
    harvs's Avatar
    harvs is offline Winner 2014 - Spirit of BubHub Award
    Join Date
    Jun 2012
    Posts
    9,997
    Thanks
    6,239
    Thanked
    15,892
    Reviews
    1
    Achievements:Topaz Star - 500 postsAmber Star - 2,000 postsAmethyst Star - 5,000 posts
    Awards:
    Busiest Member of the Week - week ended 9/4/15Busiest Member of the Week - week ended 2/4/15Busiest Member of the Week - week ended 19/3/15Busiest Member of the Week200 Posts in a week
    Hey you :-)

    I don't have much to offer except that I met someone on RSVP. Don't know where it's going yet, but I got great advice from another hubber to just put yourself out there and meet as soon as possible, even if it's just 20 minutes for a coffee.

    The only thing I'd add is the older I get the less important 'similar interests' is to me. I'm interested in what people love - I like to hear people talk about what they are knowledgeable about and come to life when they speak of their enjoyment of something. Likewise, I'm attracted to someone who feels that way about things I talk about - who can ask questions and shows interest even if it's not an interest to them. Don't know if that makes sense.

    I do have little deal breakers though, and I ask a person what theirs are too. I only have one or two, but I think it's good to get that conversation out of the way early. Nothing worse than getting attached then finding out they have Trump wallpaper in their room or something :-)

    Good luck - it's hard at first to put yourself out there but the good news is you know you're fine on your own, so you can be totes choosy and not at all desperate x

  3. The Following User Says Thank You to harvs For This Useful Post:

    KitiK  (07-01-2016)

  4. #3
    AdornedWithCats's Avatar
    AdornedWithCats is offline Winner 2013 - Spirit of BubHub Award
    Winner 2014 - Best Username

    Join Date
    May 2012
    Location
    Melbourne
    Posts
    7,815
    Thanks
    6,775
    Thanked
    3,407
    Reviews
    17
    Achievements:Topaz Star - 500 postsAmber Star - 2,000 postsAmethyst Star - 5,000 posts
    Awards:
    Busiest Member of the WeekBusiest Member of the Week - week ended 12/6/15Funniest Caption400 Posts in a week300 posts in a week
    Quote Originally Posted by HearMeRoar View Post
    Just meeting a male who I'm not related to and who has similar likes as me would be amazing!
    I don't really have an knowledge of where to meet guys (I met hubby at uni). But maybe this may be the key? Do you have any interests that can be social as well? Might be an avenue for meeting people with similar interests. Atm all I can think of is sports, sustainable gardening/coummity gardens, volunteer work...?

  5. #4
    Join Date
    Jun 2010
    Location
    Toowoomba
    Posts
    5,371
    Thanks
    6,102
    Thanked
    2,748
    Reviews
    0
    Achievements:Topaz Star - 500 postsAmber Star - 2,000 postsAmethyst Star - 5,000 posts
    Awards:
    200 Posts in a weekBusiest Member of the Week - Week ended 24/7/2014100 Posts in a week
    Thanks lovelies

    I don't really have any interests apart from social media, reading chick lit and sleeping lol.

    It's just so daunting and disheartening.

  6. #5
    Join Date
    Aug 2014
    Posts
    2,280
    Thanks
    2,364
    Thanked
    1,918
    Reviews
    0
    Achievements:Topaz Star - 500 postsAmber Star - 2,000 posts
    I'm not a single parent but when I was single I did meet guys online and a couple of friends met their partners online, married and had babies so it does happen. Just think if you're sitting around finding it hard to get out and meet people then damn sure there are some decent guys in the same boat. I do think online is a good way to dip toes in and talk to guys without meeting face to face so you can get in the practice of chatting again. I used rsvp but this was 6+ years ago the landscape has changed I'm sure!
    One thing I find interesting about online though is I used to have arbitrary things which put me off people as you're just scrolling through looking at people on paper. I think about my DH who is actually perfect for me (didn't meet online) and wonder if I saw his profile online on paper would I have clicked on him? Sadly probably no as it would have read something like I'm a tradie, I love movies, JJJ, playing sport, into motorsport, with poor grammar and spelling lol. I was so superficial at just mentally going nope and going to the next person. I'm glad I met him in real life in a very random setting so I guess what I'm saying is keep an open mind and a list of firm 'must-haves' or as @harvs said deal-breakers and start with no pressure chatting online, coffee dates etc.
    hopefully in time you meet someone who accepts you and your kids, I truly believe there are decent guys out there and often not in the package we were expecting so see how you go 😊 if you're not comfortable with online then hobbies, kids activities, little courses like cooking, gardening etc and maybe others have suggestions on where to meet like-minded people.

  7. The Following User Says Thank You to gingermillie For This Useful Post:

    HearMeRoar  (04-01-2016)

  8. #6
    AdornedWithCats's Avatar
    AdornedWithCats is offline Winner 2013 - Spirit of BubHub Award
    Winner 2014 - Best Username

    Join Date
    May 2012
    Location
    Melbourne
    Posts
    7,815
    Thanks
    6,775
    Thanked
    3,407
    Reviews
    17
    Achievements:Topaz Star - 500 postsAmber Star - 2,000 postsAmethyst Star - 5,000 posts
    Awards:
    Busiest Member of the WeekBusiest Member of the Week - week ended 12/6/15Funniest Caption400 Posts in a week300 posts in a week
    Quote Originally Posted by gingermillie View Post
    One thing I find interesting about online though is I used to have arbitrary things which put me off people as you're just scrolling through looking at people on paper. I think about my DH who is actually perfect for me (didn't meet online) and wonder if I saw his profile online on paper would I have clicked on him? Sadly probably no as it would have read something like I'm a tradie, I love movies, JJJ, playing sport, into motorsport, with poor grammar and spelling lol. I was so superficial at just mentally going nope and going to the next person.
    This is a great point.

    There is no way I would have clicked on my dh! No way haha. I met a few guys in RSVP about 8 years ago and while they looked good on paper we just didn't hit it off.

  9. The Following User Says Thank You to AdornedWithCats For This Useful Post:

    HearMeRoar  (04-01-2016)

  10. #7
    Join Date
    Jun 2015
    Posts
    390
    Thanks
    686
    Thanked
    239
    Reviews
    0
    3 years of nothing here.
    I go through phases of lonely and phases of fine,
    Having a lonely time tonight

  11. The Following User Says Thank You to Nemmi1987 For This Useful Post:

    HearMeRoar  (04-01-2016)

  12. #8
    Join Date
    Jun 2010
    Location
    Toowoomba
    Posts
    5,371
    Thanks
    6,102
    Thanked
    2,748
    Reviews
    0
    Achievements:Topaz Star - 500 postsAmber Star - 2,000 postsAmethyst Star - 5,000 posts
    Awards:
    200 Posts in a weekBusiest Member of the Week - Week ended 24/7/2014100 Posts in a week
    I really do have to be less picky! Bad spelling etc puts me right off usually, I shall try and look past it lol.

    I had a promotion email from eharmony this afternoon so have taken it as a sign and have reopened my account.

    Those of you who use online dating, do you ever pay?

  13. #9
    Join Date
    Mar 2015
    Posts
    3,954
    Thanks
    694
    Thanked
    2,302
    Reviews
    0
    Achievements:Topaz Star - 500 postsAmber Star - 2,000 posts
    Can I just pipe up and say you are looking fab so you can be picky.

    I met DH through a friend's work so no help with online dating.

    I know you have your kids fulltime but any way if joining anything like a local book club (if you like books), wine club or something?

  14. #10
    Join Date
    Jul 2015
    Location
    Sunshine Coast
    Posts
    2,963
    Thanks
    2,383
    Thanked
    2,071
    Reviews
    0
    Achievements:Topaz Star - 500 postsAmber Star - 2,000 posts
    I have been a single mum and it is a tough gig!! I don't believe you should pay to meet someone. I have been with my partner for two years, we met through OasisActive. It wasn't a bad site, there are ********* everywhere and I believe you should be picky to a certain extent because you have to be attracted to them. I remember one of my girlfriends told me I was being too picky because I wanted a man who had all of his hair and teeth lol.

    I met my partner, I was ready to give up seriously, there are so many douchebags out there. I have two children, he has none but we are expecting our first child together (i am 31 weeks tomorrow). He didn't want kids so soon as he felt he wasn't ready (I am 6 years older than him) but I must admit he has taken on the role of stepdad with ease and he is looking forward to being a dad despite things not being planned. All I can say is, that there are amazing guys out there looking for a good woman but unfortunately you will meet a lot of w@nkers as well. Online dating is good but it has made expectations unrealistic. I found a wonderful bloke, you can find one too....good luck ......oh, I had my first "date" with my partner at the RSL as it had a kid's club, so that gave me a few hours child free to get to know him. Sometimes as single mums we don't get to have a honeymoon period and my partner was like, I am not sure if I can handle the fact that you have kids. I was like, just be their friend and it obviously went from there. But also in saying that, you have to be cautious when you have kids naturally but yeah there are decent men out there, like I mentioned


 

Similar Threads

  1. Anyone feeling blah! the whole pregnancy?
    By Kimmmm in forum Pregnancy & Birth General Chat
    Replies: 0
    Last Post: 27-12-2015, 17:44

Posting Permissions

  • You may not post new threads
  • You may not post replies
  • You may not post attachments
  • You may not edit your posts
free weekly newsletters | sign up now!
who are these people who write great posts? meet our hubbub authors!
Learn how you can contribute to the hubbub!

reviews
learn how you can become a reviewer!

competitions

forum - chatting now
christmas gift guidesee all Red Stocking
Tambo Teddies
Visit our online store and select your individually handmade natural sheepskin teddy bear. Our soft and loveable bears come in a range of styles and colours. Created in Outback Queensland each bear is unique individual. 100% Australian made!
sales & new stuffsee all
True Fairies
True Fairies is the first interactive website where children can engage and speak with a real fairy through the unique webcam fairy portal. Each session is tailored to the child, and is filled with enchantment and magic.
Visit website to find out more!
featured supporter
Philips AVENT Australia
Pregnancy and early parenthood is an exciting and challenging time, but it’s good to know there is expert advice on hand to ensure that your baby gets the best start in life.
gotcha
X

Pregnant for the first-time?

Not sure where to start? We can help!

Our Insider Programs for pregnancy first-timers will lead you step-by-step through the 14 Pregnancy Must Dos!