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  1. #41
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    Ds has been in with us since birth. He is almost 2. I was initially shocked by the intense emotions/instincts I had after he was born...we had a bassinet attached to the bed (arms reach cosleeper) but even that felt too far away for me so we have bedshared since day 1.

    You won't really know what you'll prefer until bub arrives. I would recommend following the guidelines (roomshare until at least 6 months). I would try to be as supportive of your wife as possible, especially breastfeeding which can be very difficult early on. Roomsharing is also much easier for night feeds etc.

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    BlondeinBrisvegas  (29-12-2015)

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    DS's cot was in our room until he was close to a year old. It worked well for us.

    He had no issue transitioning into his own room when we moved the cot in there.

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    BlondeinBrisvegas  (29-12-2015)

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    OP, it's hard to say really what will work for your baby until s/he is born.

    SIDS guidelines are just that - guidelines. If your baby is in their own cot in their own room with the door open and your bedroom is next door for example, then there's no problem with that. Just make sure bub is wrapped well so that the swaddle / wrap can't come lose and go over the baby's face, don't have a cot bumper, no blankets, but is at the bottom of the cot, there's no toys, mum and dad both don't smoke and preferable don't drink, bub will still be safe.

    But that's just my opinion. I wanted my kids to be in a cot in their own rooms but their cots were too big for them and they needed to be cuddled or fed to sleep from birth, but had they have slept there, I would have let them.

    I guess if anything your thread just shows how passionate people are about all aspects of parenting, take everything with a grain of salt, keep it in the back of your head and do what feels right with you and your wife, what works for your bub and if you follow anyone's recommendations, make it those of a midwife, OB, GP or MCHN, not those of us on a forum you don't know. There's no right or wrong way. It's not neglectful to have a bub in their own room, so if it works for your family and your health practitioners agree, then go for it.

    Here's a link to the guidelines and the evidence and reasoning behind bedroom sharing. http://www.sidsandkids.org/wp-content/uploads/SIDS_SafeSleeping_A4_IS_RoomSharingLR1web1.pdf

    All the best with the birth of your bub.
    Last edited by A-Squared; 29-12-2015 at 12:09.

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    Quote Originally Posted by BlondeinBrisvegas View Post
    Oh FFS's!!! No-one is saying that but you!! Your children are way older & the guidelines were probably different then though I don't know for certain.

    I only BF DD for 6 weeks due to supply issues. I don't think I'm a cruel or crap mother because of it!!

    Yes...people getting on the BF bandwagon grates on my nerves too sometimes as some of them seem to think there's no legitimate reason that a baby can't be BF etc which is BS but whatever!!

    As to the sleeping in the same room debate...the guidelines are there for a reason...for safety & to minimise the SIDS risk. These days a lot more is known about SIDS & how to minimise & perhaps in some cases, prevent it.

    I think in this day & age it's negligent not to follow them & I personally wouldn't take the risk.
    Negligent to not follow SIDS guidelines is an outrageous call.

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    amyd  (29-12-2015),babyno1onboard  (29-12-2015),Frankenmum  (29-12-2015),LaDiDah  (30-12-2015),Molros  (29-12-2015)

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    Quote Originally Posted by babyla View Post
    Negligent to not follow SIDS guidelines is an outrageous call.
    According to you...I stand by my opinion.

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    Quote Originally Posted by BlondeinBrisvegas View Post
    According to you...I stand by my opinion.
    You do know breastfeeding is also one of the guidelines, which by your own admission you didn't follow?

    Not everyone has the ability to follow the guidelines strictly. That's why they are guidelines and not rules.

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    amyd  (29-12-2015)

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    Quote Originally Posted by BlondeinBrisvegas View Post
    According to you...I stand by my opinion.
    Breastfeeding is one of the SIDS guidelines.... Because you were unable to BS doesn't make you negligent, just like people who for whatever reason can't follow other SIDS guidelines does not make them negligent.

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    Quote Originally Posted by Sonja View Post
    You do know breastfeeding is also one of the guidelines, which by your own admission you didn't follow?

    Not everyone has the ability to follow the guidelines strictly. That's why they are guidelines and not rules.
    Actually...I did follow it thanks and had full intentions of continuing to do so but unfortunately couldn't continue to due to my milk running out which wasn't a choice I made.

    ETA- You can keep your condescending manner to yourself as well.
    Last edited by BlondeinBrisvegas; 29-12-2015 at 14:50.

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    Quote Originally Posted by babyno1onboard View Post
    Breastfeeding is one of the SIDS guidelines.... Because you were unable to BS doesn't make you negligent, just like people who for whatever reason can't follow other SIDS guidelines does not make them negligent.
    Not talking about BF here. Talking about sleeping arrangements. I understand what you're getting at but from my side of the fence, I believe the guidelines should be followed if possible.

    Can't see how it's not possible to have your baby sleeping in the same room as you for the first 6 months??

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    Quote Originally Posted by BlondeinBrisvegas View Post
    According to you...I stand by my opinion.
    No not just me, according to the law and SIDS - that's why they're called guidelines - a general piece of advice.


 
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