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  1. #21
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    O.M.G. no words. You did not overreact at all. I echo everyone else - you stood up for your boy. I would not mention it. I think maybe he felt safe and comforted due to your reaction and doesn't need a resolution which is why he has not bro7ght it up. Like you mentioned I'd just talk to your SIL. Hope you enjoy your time away!

  2. #22
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    Quote Originally Posted by DaveTTC View Post
    The parental instict to protect often kicks in on occasions such as this.

    What if we had been the other parent and no discipline had been given to the child throwing the punch (or we had moswd the discipline being given )

    Surely some of us outraged at the response would have reponded and some of us may not have responded in a way approved by the masses here.

    I think from what is written the op responded in an understandable manner.

    Change circumstances, age, even sex and we could get much different responses from eah one of us here.
    If I was the parent of the 13 yr old who jumped on her cousins arm. I would have expected her to say sorry and console (like she did) and than go get a ice pack for his arm even after he hit her. She would be old enough to understand that people lash out when in pain. He felt that she did it on purpose therefore didn't want a hug and that okay (hitting isn't) he was disciplined he was yelled at and told to get off. He was on his way to his parent.

    As people we gave no right to discipline other people kids. We have no right to tell other parents how to parent their kids. Certainly not threaten someone else child.
    Last edited by LoveLivesHere; 26-12-2015 at 12:22.

  3. The Following 6 Users Say Thank You to LoveLivesHere For This Useful Post:

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  4. #23
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    Quote Originally Posted by MissMuppet View Post
    I wouldn't mention it again but I would be wary around BIL for a while because his response was inappropriately aggressive and that would concern me.
    He always hits his kids for discipline and still threatens too, he's one of those very old school I'm the boss , children should be seen not heard kinda parent, his girls are lovely but very shy and socially awkward as I think they have been dominated their whole lives , me and other SIL never leave our kids with SIL when he's home as we just don't trust him or want our kids around him

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  6. #24
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    Your reaction was perfect.

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    Elijahs Mum  (26-12-2015)

  8. #25
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    Extremely reasonable reaction. Perfect. I'd also just let it be.

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    Elijahs Mum  (26-12-2015)

  10. #26
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    Quote Originally Posted by LoveLivesHere View Post

    As people we gave no right to discipline other people kids. We have no right to tell other parents how to parent their kids. Certainly not threaten someone else child.
    Generally yes

    In an absolute sense I disagree. Discipline is to instruct. To tell a child that their behaviour is unsatisfactory is discipline. To pull fighting children apart is a form of disipline.

    A duty of care says I must instruct under certain circumstances. When I see a young mother leave her 9 mth old child unsupervised on a lounge or somewhere else where the child could fall and suffer an injury to right I will tell her how to parent. Initially rather tactfully but if it carries on with more strength.

    If i see children fighting an noone in a hurry to deal with it I won't stand back, I'll intervene. I dont mean threats such as the op

    Childrens services step in because others do habe the right to discipine and instruct on child raising.

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  12. #27
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    Agree with @DaveTTC....intervening in an appropriate manner is one thing...threatening violence/physical harm is totally another.

    Apologies for going slightly off track OP. Not surprised to hear BIL disciplines his children that way.

    The apple doesn't fall far from the tree unfortunately though he's well old enough to know & do better as is his wife..your other SIL.

    Be damned if I'd sit idly by & allow DP to discipline our DD that way as a matter of course!!
    Last edited by BlondeinBrisvegas; 26-12-2015 at 13:26.

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  14. #28
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    I would have reacted the same way OP. I hope it's blown over and you get to enjoy your in-laws

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    Elijahs Mum  (26-12-2015)

  16. #29
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    I think you reacted perfectly, I would hope in your situation I'd have the guts to stand up for my child like that.

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  18. #30
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    ~Marigold~ is offline You make me happy, when skies are grey
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    I completely agree with everyone.
    And when I read that you told him to "get f ckd" I virtually high fived you 😃
    I'm sorry your day was marred by that douche and I hope your DS is feeling better x

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