I tried to read all thread, I gave up on page 4 but... First issue. If you think partner feels excluded somehow, why don't you ask? Maybe not true. With my first child, although I wanted to speak my mother tongue, I was feeling that my husband would feel as you describe, so whenever he came around I was switching to English. He noticed that and told me not to bother, that it is ok with him and he wants our son to speak Polish. But maybe he is weird cause it doesn't bother him when me and my friends speak Polish when he's around.
Although in that case we do a lot of translation.
And secondly: no one mentioned OPOL that is, a way to immerse a child in the language. Thinking of "teaching a few words here and there" is not the essence of learning language through family. It is totally different technique. Keeping consistently one language when talking to a child is crucial, cause he/she is creating language codes for each one. Mixing languages can impend learning in both. Having said that, I am guilty of ponglish as of now, when kids are talking mostly English and in everyday rush
I think it's a pity that my husband never spoke to kids in his native language, I don't think I will be able to learn it, even though it is usually easy for me (languages), it is hard and no resources really.
Hope I helped. Try to check bilingual websites, it will help you a lot.
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