+ Reply to Thread
Page 6 of 7 FirstFirst ... 4567 LastLast
Results 51 to 60 of 62
  1. #51
    Join Date
    Sep 2013
    Posts
    916
    Thanks
    120
    Thanked
    494
    Reviews
    0
    Achievements:Topaz Star - 500 posts

    Default grandparents talking in a different language: wdyt

    Quote Originally Posted by turquoisecoast View Post
    appreciate your forthrightness. I'm not trying to stop our culture being passed onto the child though. I'm a bit offended you've said that as nowhere along the way is that my issue.

    my issue/question was, is the speaking of a second language around others who don't understand excluding/rude?

    I'm the same background as the grandparents doing this, why on earth would I want to stop my nephew from sharing our culture? I was just questioning whether Xmas day is really the appropriate forum for a language lesson.

    I'm looking forward to teaching my LO (once he's born and old enough) what I can about our background. ill have to do little flash cards for him though as my spoken language is not that great so I doubt he'd pick up much of value from my limited vocabulary lol.

    maybe I came across as overly heavy handed or very net picky. I've now had a chance to review everyone's responses and the situation over in my mind. so long as the parents (sister & bil) have no issue with it and it's not done in a malicious way (which it isn't), then it's a good opportunity for the little bub to pick up aspects of another culture.
    Apologies. I may not have got it 100%. It came over like the mother tongue was something to be put aside.

    In answer to your question. No, it's not rude. My mum came over on Xmas day ( we're currently in the UK ) and she called our family in Europe and had a very long loud phone call in another language. I couldn't understand a word but loved every minute. Any words she could teach my DD would be wonderful. Christmas is a time for sharing and family so the perfect forum.

    A very British friend and her daughter were here and weren't interested and just occupied themselves doing something else. To hear the words was fascinating to me and we all had a laugh over mine and my husbands clear blunders of translation. I dunno. I find it all brings such richness to life.

  2. The Following 2 Users Say Thank You to amiracle4me For This Useful Post:

    HollyGolightly81  (27-12-2015),turquoisecoast  (27-12-2015)

  3. #52
    Join Date
    Apr 2013
    Posts
    4,211
    Thanks
    3,646
    Thanked
    3,454
    Reviews
    0
    Achievements:Topaz Star - 500 postsAmber Star - 2,000 posts
    Awards:
    100 Posts in a week
    The main thing I took away from your OP was that I believe you said they were doing it while they were playing with him, that's the key bit of info that makes me have no issue with it. They were playing and being loving towards him and I think it's great they did that expressing themselves in their own language. I don't see the fact that this was Christmas as reason for them not to do, I don't get why that matters unless others were visibly annoyed by it.

    As far as it not happening enough for him to understand, even though my danish is almost non-existent, I could still get the gist of what my grandparents would say to each other. But, if they'd made an effort to speak directly to me I probably would have picked up much, much more. It's proven that children pick up on another language much easier and faster than adults do.

  4. #53
    Join Date
    Apr 2013
    Posts
    4,211
    Thanks
    3,646
    Thanked
    3,454
    Reviews
    0
    Achievements:Topaz Star - 500 postsAmber Star - 2,000 posts
    Awards:
    100 Posts in a week
    All this has made me think maybe I should enroll DS in one of the little toddler french or Spanish playgroup classes over here to get the ball Rollin in his ability to understand other languages when school starts ☺️

  5. #54
    Join Date
    Jan 2012
    Location
    Melbourne
    Posts
    4,321
    Thanks
    1,552
    Thanked
    2,537
    Reviews
    10
    Achievements:Topaz Star - 500 postsAmber Star - 2,000 posts
    Awards:
    100 Posts in a week
    OP I noticed that you refer yourself as Aussie more than anything in your OP but later you called yourself polish.

    To me it hinted like maybe you have an uneasy positioning regarding your background and current culture?
    Maybe that's why it annoyed you? Because you are yourself unsure of your own positioning about it all?

  6. The Following User Says Thank You to ExcuseMyFrench For This Useful Post:

    amiracle4me  (27-12-2015)

  7. #55
    Join Date
    Jul 2015
    Posts
    6,869
    Thanks
    4,776
    Thanked
    4,210
    Reviews
    0
    Achievements:Topaz Star - 500 postsAmber Star - 2,000 postsAmethyst Star - 5,000 posts
    Awards:
    100 Posts in a week
    Quote Originally Posted by ExcuseMyFrench View Post
    OP I noticed that you refer yourself as Aussie more than anything in your OP but later you called yourself polish.

    To me it hinted like maybe you have an uneasy positioning regarding your background and current culture?
    Maybe that's why it annoyed you? Because you are yourself unsure of your own positioning about it all?
    not at all.

    culturally I'd consider myself more Aussie than polish. was born here, grew up here, mainly English speaking.

    I have pure polish blood though, both sets of grandparents were 100% polish, as are my parents (despite being born in UK). grandparents were born and raised in Poland until the war broke out.

    so despite being pure polish, i'd say my attitudes etc are more Aussie. we attended polish school and I never felt at home with the other polish kids (the polish exports).

    I'm not confused at all.

  8. #56
    Join Date
    Sep 2013
    Posts
    916
    Thanks
    120
    Thanked
    494
    Reviews
    0
    Achievements:Topaz Star - 500 posts
    Quote Originally Posted by turquoisecoast View Post
    not at all.

    culturally I'd consider myself more Aussie than polish. was born here, grew up here, mainly English speaking.

    I have pure polish blood though, both sets of grandparents were 100% polish, as are my parents (despite being born in UK). grandparents were born and raised in Poland until the war broke out.

    so despite being pure polish, i'd say my attitudes etc are more Aussie. we attended polish school and I never felt at home with the other polish kids (the polish exports).

    I'm not confused at all.
    At the risk of sounding facetious that kind of answers your original question. If grandparents are 100% Polish then that's their first language so of course it wouldn't be rude to use it above anything else 😊

  9. The Following User Says Thank You to amiracle4me For This Useful Post:

    FirstTimeMummy2012  (28-12-2015)

  10. #57
    Join Date
    Jan 2015
    Posts
    790
    Thanks
    669
    Thanked
    367
    Reviews
    11
    Achievements:Topaz Star - 500 posts
    Quote Originally Posted by HollyGolightly81 View Post
    All this has made me think maybe I should enroll DS in one of the little toddler french or Spanish playgroup classes over here to get the ball Rollin in his ability to understand other languages when school starts ☺️
    You should look into it. As I mentioned before my ds1 who has just turned 2 and only says 2 word sentences can already say a couple of things in mandarin as he goes to a mandarin daycare one day a week. She only speaks mandarin for a few session a day like mealtimes and songs etc but it's enough for him to pick things up.
    Although having a baby who speaks more than one language can be challenging! My son is at the stage where he's still not very clear with his words and gets frustrated when you don't understand but for us we are like "what's he trying to say? Is it English, Spanish or mandarin?!!"

  11. #58
    Join Date
    Apr 2013
    Posts
    4,211
    Thanks
    3,646
    Thanked
    3,454
    Reviews
    0
    Achievements:Topaz Star - 500 postsAmber Star - 2,000 posts
    Awards:
    100 Posts in a week
    Quote Originally Posted by nh2489 View Post
    You should look into it. As I mentioned before my ds1 who has just turned 2 and only says 2 word sentences can already say a couple of things in mandarin as he goes to a mandarin daycare one day a week. She only speaks mandarin for a few session a day like mealtimes and songs etc but it's enough for him to pick things up.
    Although having a baby who speaks more than one language can be challenging! My son is at the stage where he's still not very clear with his words and gets frustrated when you don't understand but for us we are like "what's he trying to say? Is it English, Spanish or mandarin?!!"
    I will! I know we have a toddler Spanish class nearby that would require signing up for and fees but my neighbor also runs a french drop-in playgroup that I haven't been able to check out because we had swim lessons on but our swimming days have switched so I'll drop-in next week when it's back on. ☺️

  12. #59
    Join Date
    Feb 2015
    Posts
    2,057
    Thanks
    2,310
    Thanked
    1,390
    Reviews
    0
    Achievements:Topaz Star - 500 postsAmber Star - 2,000 posts

    Default grandparents talking in a different language: wdyt

    Quote Originally Posted by turquoisecoast View Post

    my issue/question was, is the speaking of a second language around others who don't understand excluding/rude?
    I think it can be rude and can also be fine - it just depends on the circumstances. In a family setting I understand how inlaws would feel excluded and probably quite bored if they were unable to join in on conversations, however this may also be the only opportunity that family members have to speak their native language. It is also important to take into consideration family members who may not speak English. They would feel just as excluded if all of the conversation was in English.
    A PP mentioned that inlaws who feel excluded should learn the language.... I don't think that's often practicable. Fair enough to learn a few basics sentences however it can be quite difficult to learn a new language to the point of there you can join in-depth conversions. It took me three years living overseas to sort of be able to speak another language, and that was with really trying!
    In summary I think in such settings a mixture of the two languages should be spoken. This is coming from personal experience, having dated people from non-English speaking backgrounds in the past and being the 'excluded inlaw'.

  13. #60
    Join Date
    Mar 2015
    Posts
    1,833
    Thanks
    915
    Thanked
    1,419
    Reviews
    0
    Achievements:Topaz Star - 500 posts
    Quote Originally Posted by turquoisecoast View Post
    something I noticed yesterday that sort of annoyed me and made me think for a moment. my parents were hanging out with their grandson (my sister's kid) yesterday and kept talking to him in their background language. in the week we've been here and on all the occasions I've seen them interact with him, I've noticed them doing this to varying degrees. yesterday of all days, it was particularly noticeable.

    although this is our heritage, my sisters and I were all born in Australia and consider ourselves more Aussie than anything else. my sisters dh also considers himself Aussie. he cannot understand the language my parents are talking to their grandson in.

    my parents aren't what I'd consider hugely "ethnic", they were born and raised in the UK but have clung to the cultural traditions etc pretty firmly. maybe more so as they get older, who knows.

    my point is, should they be talking to their grandson in English or whatever language they wish to use? my main issue with them using a different language is that, whilst my sisters and I can all understand what's being said, my sister's dh (FOB) can't and neither can my dh. it just seems very excluding, esp on a day like Xmas day.

    actually I'm not even bothered my dh can't understand, it just p|ssed me off for my bil's sake. I mentioned it to them but not sure how much they listened or cared.

    I've not yet had a chance to bring it up with my sister to see what she thinks. I guess if she's cool with it then there's no issue at all as its her kid and her hubby. but it just struck me as a bit rude.

    I get that they're trying to ensure our cultural background is passed onto their grandson but I don't feel it's really their job to do this. or their decision to make.

    so, wdyt? am I over reacting? or does my concern seem valid?

    we have our first due in a couple of months and if I saw them doing this with him, I'd be annoyed as my dh can't understand any language outside of English. but then maybe I'm just being preggo and unreasonable, who knows!?
    Funny, I think it's a bit rude and I can totally see where you're coming from
    Being polish, German and Maltese my self but mostly "Aussie". My Oma used to teach me German/polish all the time as a child. But sitting down one on one and with my brother during games, cooking experiences and activities. Not just random convos when other people are around.

    I can't understand Maltese and when (it's rare) my grandparents speak it l get a little frustrated "like hello speak English I can't understand you".

    It's not rude that they want to instil some of their culture into him, I think their timings off. Doing it infront of your bil etc.

    I think your concern is valid and you'll prob have to revisit this once your Bub is here.


 

Similar Threads

  1. Using grandparents instead of child care. Do you do it?
    By BH-editor in forum Media Requests
    Replies: 0
    Last Post: 16-10-2015, 09:57
  2. Speech and Language Development
    By Grizabella in forum Development Stages
    Replies: 44
    Last Post: 11-03-2015, 16:30
  3. Overly involved Grandparents
    By mummyluvsbubbyboy in forum General Parenting Tips, Advice & Chat
    Replies: 8
    Last Post: 21-01-2015, 11:12

Posting Permissions

  • You may not post new threads
  • You may not post replies
  • You may not post attachments
  • You may not edit your posts
free weekly newsletters | sign up now!
who are these people who write great posts? meet our hubbub authors!
Learn how you can contribute to the hubbub!

reviews
learn how you can become a reviewer!

competitions

forum - chatting now
christmas gift guidesee all Red Stocking
Babybee Prams
Save $50 in our pre-Christmas sale! All Comet's now only $500. Our bassinet & stroller set includes free shipping AUS wide, $75 free accessories, 18-months warranty & a 9 month free return policy. Check out our new designer range today!
sales & new stuffsee all
Pea Pods
Buy 2 Award Winning Pea Pods Reusable One Size Nappies for only $38 (in your choice of colours) and receive a FREE roll of Bamboo Liners. Don't miss out, we don't usually have discounts on the nappies, so grab this special offer!
Special Offer! Save $12
featured supporter
Innovations Sports Physiotherapy
Women’s Health Physios who are able to assess and treat a wide range of Pregnancy and Post Natal Issues. We offer Post Natal Pilates Classes taken by our Physios. These classes help you rebuild strength through your Core and Pelvic Floor.
gotcha
X

Pregnant for the first-time?

Not sure where to start? We can help!

Our Insider Programs for pregnancy first-timers will lead you step-by-step through the 14 Pregnancy Must Dos!