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  1. #41
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    Quote Originally Posted by twinklify View Post
    I had a think about this. So, your parents speak English pretty much 99% of the time to everyone and just brought out the natove tongue randomly on Christmas? And only to the kids? If so, I totally see your point.
    I still don't see it, sorry, don't mean this to sound offensive at all. Are they badmouthing anyone? Or just generally speaking to him in polish?

    If they are badmouthing someone, then yes I see your point, but that would be the only circumstances I would be peeved.

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  3. #42
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    I think you're over reacting. Grandparents speaking with grandkids in their native tongue - what a wonderful way to teach kids that the world is a big place and we need to be accepting of those who are different.

    As for your BIL and DH - they can either make an effort to learn the language or be mature and suck up the fact they can't understand the conversation for a few minutes.

    Perhaps as you mentioned past happenings are clouding your views? (I totally get that one... ).

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  5. #43
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    Sorry I think you're over reacting. My dads family are Greek and we used to go to his relatives houses and they would all speak Greek. 100% of the time. That is rude (especially when they all know how to speak English) but talking to a young child in another language to teach them, that's good.

    We could all do with knowing an extra language and they're helping out. If they didn't speak English at all around everyone that would be rude, but I don't see a problem with this situation.

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  7. #44
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    We are a bilingual household,
    I think it's a wonderful gift, and it's amazing how quickly kids pick it up.

    We're currently not living in Australia, where we are DD has been learning English since grade 1 as a second language (which is actually her primary language, so she has it pretty easy there) and in grade 3 they had the option of picking up another language, German, which I don't speak, but we were in Germany a few weeks ago and she did a pretty good job translating for me, she's 11 and can now speak a third language! So impressed! I don't know how kids do it!
    But you should definitely allow them the opportunity if they have it!

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  9. #45
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    Quote Originally Posted by Olive Oil View Post
    I still don't see it, sorry, don't mean this to sound offensive at all. Are they badmouthing anyone? Or just generally speaking to him in polish?

    If they are badmouthing someone, then yes I see your point, but that would be the only circumstances I would be peeved.
    Ok. To clarify a bit if I can. If the OP's parents speak English of their own accord around everyone (including family/family gatherings) most of the time and then randomly spoke Polish to the kids at Christmas - I can see where the OP comes from. Especially as she clarifies her feelings from childhood etc in a later post.

    Teaching them a few words etc - I doubt the OP would've been bothered. But if the kids have never been spoken to in another language and you just speak to them in it then there is not much point. They will not understand and it is not teaching them anything. It needs to be regularly spoken - again teaching a few words/sentences is not a big deal.

    Not sure if I explained properly. Like I said in my earlier posts I don't mind and DH does not mind either. But there is a lot of Polish spoken so I think my situation is very different.

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  11. #46
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    Default grandparents talking in a different language: wdyt

    In the OP she mentions that she has seen her parents speaking to her nephew in Polish on a number of other occasions. I'm not sure if I read somewhere else that they live away from the family but perhaps it does happen on a regular basis but they only see it when they go to visit the family. If she's witnessed it before then it wasn't a one off which also makes me think that the parents of the child don't have an issue with it.. surely they would have raised it if they did.

    If we encourage children to learn languages at school that we might not speak ourselves how is this any different? His father might not speak Polish but when he is at school and might have the opportunity to learn French (which is taught at a lot of schools) would the parents say "nah we don't speak it so no point in you speaking it"?

    Just food for thought 😊

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    Quote Originally Posted by twinklify View Post
    I had a think about this. So, your parents speak English pretty much 99% of the time to everyone and just brought out the natove tongue randomly on Christmas? And only to the kids? If so, I totally see your point.
    he's the only kid so far. I just noticed them doing it on Xmas day, maybe bits and bobs on the other occasions we've all been together but it stood out on Xmas day. not sure why. maybe I was just tired and being extra nit picky!?

    I don't believe he'll learn much by hearing it on sporadic occasions. it's up to them I guess. I'm just leaving it now.

    I definitely want our little one to have cultural ties to my background. I can't speak the language well enough myself though to be able to teach more than a few words.

  14. #48
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    My in laws and my parents speak to my DD in Spanish and I'm so glad they do. Im lazy in that respect as it's easier for me to speak to her in English do it's great that they make the effort to allow DD to be bilingual. She's 2.5 and knows lots of Spanish now.

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  16. #49
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    In being a bit braver with my opinions I actually think this whole thread topic is really sad. I feel upset for the parents of OP who have children that want to stop their heritage being passed on and sad for the nephew that will miss out.

    **Caveat being that if the grandparents are being malicious in using the other language then that's fair enough but I doubt they would with a child. It's probably more just enveloping him in culture.

    I'm a migrant from another country to Oz. I'm proud to be Aussie but also proud to have strong European links. It's possible to have both you know!

    Best just to stay out of it OP. Not really anything to do with you as not your child. He's being given a great gift the lucky bum.

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  18. #50
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    Quote Originally Posted by amiracle4me View Post
    In being a bit braver with my opinions I actually think this whole thread topic is really sad. I feel upset for the parents of OP who have children that want to stop their heritage being passed on and sad for the nephew that will miss out.

    **Caveat being that if the grandparents are being malicious in using the other language then that's fair enough but I doubt they would with a child. It's probably more just enveloping him in culture.

    I'm a migrant from another country to Oz. I'm proud to be Aussie but also proud to have strong European links. It's possible to have both you know!

    Best just to stay out of it OP. Not really anything to do with you as not your child. He's being given a great gift the lucky bum.
    appreciate your forthrightness. I'm not trying to stop our culture being passed onto the child though. I'm a bit offended you've said that as nowhere along the way is that my issue.

    my issue/question was, is the speaking of a second language around others who don't understand excluding/rude?

    I'm the same background as the grandparents doing this, why on earth would I want to stop my nephew from sharing our culture? I was just questioning whether Xmas day is really the appropriate forum for a language lesson.

    I'm looking forward to teaching my LO (once he's born and old enough) what I can about our background. ill have to do little flash cards for him though as my spoken language is not that great so I doubt he'd pick up much of value from my limited vocabulary lol.

    maybe I came across as overly heavy handed or very net picky. I've now had a chance to review everyone's responses and the situation over in my mind. so long as the parents (sister & bil) have no issue with it and it's not done in a malicious way (which it isn't), then it's a good opportunity for the little bub to pick up aspects of another culture.


 

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