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  1. #21
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    I think it's fantastic. I'm also not sure why you're so annoyed about it when it's not your child and the child's parents didn't seem to mind. I think your pregnancy hormones are magnifying your feelings about it

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  3. #22
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    Quote Originally Posted by bubbles21 View Post
    I think it's fantastic. I'm also not sure why you're so annoyed about it when it's not your child and the child's parents didn't seem to mind. I think your pregnancy hormones are magnifying your feelings about it
    my sister and I were always funny when my parents spoke the native language around our Aussie friends. obviously this is a totally different situation and the intention is completely different but it just brought up some of those old feelings. they'd do it when a friend they didn't like/approve of was over and they'd say stuff in the other language either about them or to just exclude them.

    obviously my rational brain realise a this is not the case here and now. but there was that slightly excluding element that made me go back to those feelings from many years ago.

  4. #23
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    Quote Originally Posted by turquoisecoast View Post
    my sister and I were always funny when my parents spoke the native language around our Aussie friends. obviously this is a totally different situation and the intention is completely different but it just brought up some of those old feelings. they'd do it when a friend they didn't like/approve of was over and they'd say stuff in the other language either about them or to just exclude them.

    obviously my rational brain realise a this is not the case here and now. but there was that slightly excluding element that made me go back to those feelings from many years ago.
    I have a lot of friends like this. With my snowy white British background it's not something I could ever understand. I imagine it's a fear of being bullied or not fitting in. Considering how awful kids can be that's not surprising.

    Can I just say, though, that having been the girlfriend getting talked about in another language when I'm sitting there - it is obvious, even if they don't say your name. I think it's reasonable to keep a lid on that.

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    turquoisecoast  (26-12-2015)

  6. #24
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    Quote Originally Posted by turquoisecoast View Post
    my sister and I were always funny when my parents spoke the native language around our Aussie friends. obviously this is a totally different situation and the intention is completely different but it just brought up some of those old feelings. they'd do it when a friend they didn't like/approve of was over and they'd say stuff in the other language either about them or to just exclude them.

    obviously my rational brain realise a this is not the case here and now. but there was that slightly excluding element that made me go back to those feelings from many years ago.
    My family is Polish. My mum/dad/aunt/uncle/cousins (ie. most of my family) speak polish over english. I was born in Australia but they all feel more comfortable as it reminds them of 'the old country'. My DH took polish classes to be able to speak to my family - especially my grandmother! We teach DS some words here and there as well. Both my brothers are married and their wives also learnt a few words etc.

    Family gatherings are about 75% polish and 25% english. Honestly noone cares in our family. And the older people are tickled pink that an effort is made to speak polish to them.

    But it seems like my family dynamic is different than yours. I am fiercely protective and proud of my heritage and constantly refer myself as Australian but with Polish blood in my veins.

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    turquoisecoast  (26-12-2015)

  8. #25
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    I think it's a great opportunity. Can people feel left out, well yes sometimes, but really it's up to them to ask questions, or even try to learn some words themselves. I learnt another language in my 30s (because I had to), much easier to do it as a kid!

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  10. #26
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    He married into the family knowing that though so maybe he has no problem with them speaking their own language. I believe that you kind of have to embrace the family and culture you choose to join because it's a choice after all. My family often speak their native language and DP does pretty well keeping up now but sometimes I translate. They also make an effort to speak in English around her or use a mixture so that she can follow 😂 it's really when they get passionate about the convo that they revert back to their language. DP absolutely wants our kids to only be spoken to in their language by all of the family and they will learn English from us. She is more excited about them being bilingual than me... Maybe your BIL is also happy about it? Maybe ask him and if he's not okay then he should be the one raising it or your sister if he feels uncomfortable - IMO 😊

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    turquoisecoast  (26-12-2015)

  12. #27
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    Quote Originally Posted by twinklify View Post
    My family is Polish. My mum/dad/aunt/uncle/cousins (ie. most of my family) speak polish over english. I was born in Australia but they all feel more comfortable as it reminds them of 'the old country'. My DH took polish classes to be able to speak to my family - especially my grandmother! We teach DS some words here and there as well. Both my brothers are married and their wives also learnt a few words etc.

    Family gatherings are about 75% polish and 25% english. Honestly noone cares in our family. And the older people are tickled pink that an effort is made to speak polish to them.

    But it seems like my family dynamic is different than yours. I am fiercely protective and proud of my heritage and constantly refer myself as Australian but with Polish blood in my veins.
    we're polish too lol

    I refer to myself as polish, I'm full blood polish and have no shame in it. we've tried teaching our dh's a few words here and there. there's no issue, I just felt the grandparents were forcing the issue a bit given it was Xmas day and they're the only ones doing it. nobody else was speaking polish. they refer to themselves as babcia and dziadzio which is perfectly reasonable. I do t know, just the polish talk on Xmas day grated on me. maybe it's me bring super sensitive.

    as I said, we live interstate so I don't see a lot of this on a regular basis anymore. maybe it just stuck out as a bit odd now that I'm home and seeing it up close again.

    dh's mum's side are Indian but act more Aussie than most Aussies. they do no Indian traditions at all, which in a way I find sad as it would be nice to share that culture with our bub as he grows up too.

    I'm not opposed to different cultures or am somehow trying to enforce Aussie culture only.

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    twinklify  (26-12-2015)

  14. #28
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    I can see where you are coming from though. Since they were the only ones doing it. Like I said my whole family does it when it is together. If there is a smaller group there tends to be more english spoken.

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    turquoisecoast  (26-12-2015)

  16. #29
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    Wouldn't bother me in the slightest. I think it's great that the kid will learn 2 languages.

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    turquoisecoast  (26-12-2015)

  18. #30
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    When teaching a child to speak two languages, it's best to have 1 person who always speaks the other language.

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