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  1. #11
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    Default "Recovering" from family Christmas

    Quote Originally Posted by turquoisecoast View Post
    we stay with my parents as we live interstate. the first few days is ok but after that, it just starts to grate.

    my mum has some kind of anxiety about everything. including air con/drafts/breezes so, despite it being a million degrees, nobody can have a window open/fan or air con on. dh was doing a heap of cooking on Xmas eve and it was a fight to keep windows open for breeze/ventilation. wtf. in the end I yelled at her to p|ss off out of the kitchen. wtf!?

    then she was reminding dh to ensure we locked up the house yesterday before leaving to go to my sisters place for Xmas lunch. including telling him to remind me to "switch all the lights off, as there was one time 3 or 4 years ago that she left a light on". again what the actual!?

    they're just so pedantic and paranoid and neurotic. it's maddening and you feel like you just can't relax.

    then there's the politically incorrect/slightly racist comments they make. well mainly I've heard it from my dad. I had to pull him up yesterday at my sister's after hearing him refer to an African American kid (or a child of African descent, it was a pic) as a picaniny. wtf. I googled the term
    and images of those old fashioned gollywogs came up. if they want to use terms like that on their own, that's their business. but it offended me (dh is mixed race and our bub will be too) and I don't think it's appropriate in someone else's house especially with a little bub around. again, wtf!?

    I know I still have it tons better than many but it's frustrating nonetheless. getting to the point where I'm looking forward to getting home and back to our own space.
    Picaniny means child in some languages (eg Papua New Guinean) It's not necessarily a derogatory term, although I'm sure you know if it was being used as one.
    Last edited by babyno1onboard; 26-12-2015 at 09:50.

  2. #12
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    Quote Originally Posted by babyno1onboard View Post
    Picaniny means child in some languages (eg Papua New Guinean) It's not necessarily a derogatory term, although I'm sure you know if it was being used as one.
    it's derived from pequeno which means little.

    it was used because the child in the image was of African descent. it's that that bothered me. my mum even elbowed him after he said it, which underscored the inappropriateness of the comment.

    I just don't get what they're thinking sometimes. that it's ok to be rude or that they're somehow above everyone and can use such disgusting terminology. it really annoyed me.

  3. #13
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    Quote Originally Posted by turquoisecoast View Post
    we stay with my parents as we live interstate. the first few days is ok but after that, it just starts to grate.

    my mum has some kind of anxiety about everything. including air con/drafts/breezes so, despite it being a million degrees, nobody can have a window open/fan or air con on. dh was doing a heap of cooking on Xmas eve and it was a fight to keep windows open for breeze/ventilation. wtf. in the end I yelled at her to p|ss off out of the kitchen. wtf!?

    then she was reminding dh to ensure we locked up the house yesterday before leaving to go to my sisters place for Xmas lunch. including telling him to remind me to "switch all the lights off, as there was one time 3 or 4 years ago that she left a light on". again what the actual!?

    they're just so pedantic and paranoid and neurotic. it's maddening and you feel like you just can't relax.

    then there's the politically incorrect/slightly racist comments they make. well mainly I've heard it from my dad. I had to pull him up yesterday at my sister's after hearing him refer to an African American kid (or a child of African descent, it was a pic) as a picaniny. wtf. I googled the term
    and images of those old fashioned gollywogs came up. if they want to use terms like that on their own, that's their business. but it offended me (dh is mixed race and our bub will be too) and I don't think it's appropriate in someone else's house especially with a little bub around. again, wtf!?

    I know I still have it tons better than many but it's frustrating nonetheless. getting to the point where I'm looking forward to getting home and back to our own space.
    Um, do we come from the same family?! So many similarities! The air con thing, argh! It's like my mother has some form of personal vendetta against it. I dread seeing her in summer because I hear about it every single time I see her. She will not turn it on, if for some reason she has DD on a sweltering day and she's forced to, it's like the world is ending. And yep, yesterday we all had to swelter with the oven on and hear the lecture about how "I don't use air con, I don't like it, we only get summer once a year why would you waste it staying inside with the air con going, I just don't understand it..." 😩

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    Quote Originally Posted by turquoisecoast View Post
    it's derived from pequeno which means little.

    it was used because the child in the image was of African descent. it's that that bothered me. my mum even elbowed him after he said it, which underscored the inappropriateness of the comment.

    I just don't get what they're thinking sometimes. that it's ok to be rude or that they're somehow above everyone and can use such disgusting terminology. it really annoyed me.
    Oh in the context that of your example it was awful! Don't get me wrong there. I was just trying to provide a bit of awareness about the word. DP and I both speak Tok Pisin and sometimes refer to children as this. In Tok Pisin it is not racist or horrible, it just means child (of any race).

  5. #15
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    Default "Recovering" from family Christmas

    Quote Originally Posted by amcyus View Post
    Um, do we come from the same family?! So many similarities! The air con thing, argh! It's like my mother has some form of personal vendetta against it. I dread seeing her in summer because I hear about it every single time I see her. She will not turn it on, if for some reason she has DD on a sweltering day and she's forced to, it's like the world is ending. And yep, yesterday we all had to swelter with the oven on and hear the lecture about how "I don't use air con, I don't like it, we only get summer once a year why would you waste it staying inside with the air con going, I just don't understand it..." 😩
    omg glad I'm not the only one then!? 😂

    my mum doesn't even use the summer comes once a year excuse. it's hot here all year round from what I'm told anyway.

    it just doesn't compute that she's always the only one who feels cold/like the air con/breeze is the boogyman but doesn't think she's the one with the issue. it's always everyone else being really extreme by opening a window or wanting the AC on. yesterday she was sitting outside with a thick cardigan on then went inside with all the doors shut and AC was off and it felt like a sauna when I went in to use the bathroom.

    I'm so glad they're not staying with us when our bub is born. dh and I were discussing it yesterday in private. bubs is due end of feb and we always get that late summer heatwave so AC and/or windows open for a bit of relief will be non negotiable. plus you can't have a brand new bub in a hot, stuffy room. I can just imagine her complaining constantly and making it all about herself. they can stay in a hotel. it'll be our house, our bub and our AC rules!!

  6. #16
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    I'll be so happy when Christmas is over! We had a day at DH's dads, a day with my family, and now we're about to spend 2 days at MILs. I'm desperate for some quiet alone time where I can relax without fear of judgement.

    Not that I have much to complain about. My parents are pretty good and try hard to be easy going, but with so many people all spending the day together (We had 20 people in a three bed house all day yesterday) its inevitable there will be some tensions and some personality clashes. Its exhausting trying to get along with everyone all the time when there's nowhere to retreat to for a quiet moment.

    Family Christmases definitely take some recovery time.

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  8. #17
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    Default "Recovering" from family Christmas

    We are in southern tas so it was 33 degrees outside and 40+ degrees in the stinky, diesel-smelling SHED my brother and law decided we'd have a hot Xmas lunch in.

    I am 17 weeks preg, his mother is 90 and very frail. Not much thought about others in that family and this is just one small example n

    Worst of all was my know-it-all SIL trying to override my parenting of my own child when I and my husband are right there talking to our child at the time. I only just stopped short of telling her to butt out as this is our last Xmas down here ( thank god!!!) as we are moving to Qld to be near my family nov 2016. Yay!!


 

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