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  1. #1
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    Default Not really a friend?

    Hey all, Merry Christmas!!

    I am just after opinions on if you think I am being over sensitive or not. My husband has a female friend since high school, and he and I both adore her. She has recently become a single mum and we have offered support any time she needs, she knows she is welcome over whenever. But I am starting to get the feeling she is not as interested in us as we are in her... Last year my husband called her on Xmas eve to wish her a merry xmas etc etc, and she said to him we are invited to her daughters 1st b'day party the day after boxing day, and told us it was a last minute thing etc etc and then sent to hubby a very generic text as an invitation (as in it clearly was designed to be sent out to a group of people) We went along, but I did feel once we were there that the event in fact was not thrown together last minute at all it was actually very organized! But i didn't say anything to hubby.

    Anyways we have hung out with her a few times this year and as always its gone well, though she's very stressed with her break up. Anyways hubby called her again yesterday for a quick catch up, and to wish her well for the new year and she again sprung on us her daughters b'day party for this Sunday and again said it was all last minute, hence why we weren't told. Now im starting to feel a bit peeved about this as she gives us no time to get her daughter a gift, and quite frank I am starting to feel like we are a last thought to her. I have now spoken my mind to hubby about it and he is actually in agreement with me, but I don't want to be over reacting. I just feel it's a bit poor form, and this time I have told hubby that I don't want to go and he is welcome to still go with our 3.5 year old and I'll stay home with 1 year old. He refuses to do that. But i don't want to stop him seeing his friend from school... but don't you think it's a little harsh to spring it on us again last minute? To "make up for it" she tells us not to bring her daughter a gift because of no notice, but this bothers me too as I love giving kids gifts!! It's going against my nature... but we just dont have time this year now to get anything. Like last time we were invited after hubby called HER 2 days before the party. If he hadn't of called her, its pretty clear now we wouldn't be invited. it's making me feel like I want to step back from her now as I am sensing the friendship isn't what we thought. Maybe it's me she doesn't feel keen on, i don't know but she really sticks to me like glue whenever we see her and we really get along well.

    I also feel maybe its because seeing hubby happy in a marriage is hard on her because she has had failed relationship after the other, but my goodness hubby and I are far from perfect!! I just don't know what to think to be honest. Don't feel like going out of my way, dragging the kids into the city for the day to attend a party we weren't really invited to (until hubby called her) Apparently all the other people invited this time are her 'single friends' she said ... her best friend recently got divorced also, so of course she'll be there with her daughters... It's just all a bit odd and bothering me.

    I will also say I am starting to question her a little as well, as before her partner (FOB) left her, when they were together and we'd hang out she would get me alone and b!tch about him a lot and tell me she was convinced he was gay.... she also played down the relationship a lot, and then he recently left her. Now she is heartbroken and angry with him... but with the way she'd speak of him you'd think she's be glad he left! So it's making me question how genuine she is in general... she would happily bag him out, then when he'd enter the room she'd cover it up and act quite cheeky and smirky...

    So what do you all think? She's just not that into us?

    Sorry this is so long.
    Last edited by Serenity Love; 25-12-2015 at 12:14.

  2. #2
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    Maybe let her put in the effort for a period of time. If she doesn't get in contact, just leave it or tell her how you feel.

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  4. #3
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    Yeah I was thinking that. I was thinking of still not going (hubby can still go i'll leave that up to him) and letting her make the effort for now on.

    We invited her and her daughter over for our daughters 1 year old birthday, gave 2 weeks notice, (we had just moved house) and she said no she had other plans and suggested we throw a BBQ for her and other friends in a weeks time.... I found that really odd, and a little rude tbh. Fair enough you can't make it but don't then suggest we throw a party to suit her!

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    I wouldnt go to the party but see her a day or two later if you get a gift for the birthday child. Then i would slowly back away. Let her make some effort in the friendship. If she initiates catch ups, see how they go. If she hasnt bothered for a few months, i would leave the friendship as is.

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    GrabbyCrabby  (25-12-2015),Serenity Love  (25-12-2015)

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    She sounds like a ****.
    I'd move on.

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    She sounds like a person who is a massive headache. See her once a year and that's it. or you'll be wearing her problems.


 

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