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  1. #1
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    Default How does she do it!??

    I often wonder that when I see other mums...tidy homes, well organized and managing kids well. Im generally an organized person myself but 18 months after having my second I still feel I'm just keeping my head above water some days. I feel like all I am is a sahm and that I've completely lost my own identity.

    I get very overwhelmed with the never ending housework and I find two kids so demanding some days ( they are 19 months and 5) I love my girls like crazy but a lot of the time I don't love being a mum iykwim. I don't feel like I am giving them the best of me. I feel even playing with them sometimes is something I just can't be bothered with.

    I've tried simplifying things as much as possible, I'm on a bit of a minimalist obsession atm and have got rid of a lot of clutter. I feel like my dh could do more but he is so exhausted from work all the time.....

    Is it normal to feel like this? Do we only see the best of other mums and the worst is hidden? Just the day to day stuff is full on that even the thought of having friends over overwhelms me and I just find it stressful... Maybe its just the heat lol.
    Last edited by SoThisIsLove; 24-12-2015 at 19:02.

  2. #2
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    It's absolutely normal, so don't worry about that

    I am a person who doesn't function in a dirty, cluttered, untidy house, so my house is always clean and tidy, but I struggle with taking my four children (9, 7, 5, and 3yo) out of the house on my own, I find it very overwhelming. Parks/play centres etc are fine, but shops etc or quiet, indoor things are a nightmare. Because of my 3 boys mostly

  3. #3
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    Oh I don't function with the chaos of a messy house either, it drives me mad as im a bit ocd but I feel like I'm chasing my tail and can never get on top of it.

  4. #4
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    I guess I just didn't expect motherhood to be so full on. With one child I don't remember really feeling like this. Im not employed but I've never worked so hard in my life.

  5. #5
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    I think it is very normal.. At least it is for me! And yes I think we definately only see certain aspects of other mums, maybe even aspects that we wish we had or could do better at.

    Last weekend at a Chrissy party I had a close friend talking to her friend about me and my girls and she announced, soon2be4 makes it look so easy having 2 littlies. Haha I was shocked! I never feel like it's overly easy on my own especially the older they get!

  6. #6
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    Very normal. My house will never be a show home. I never look presentable. I am just me and that has to be good enough.

  7. The Following 2 Users Say Thank You to LoveLivesHere For This Useful Post:

    BornToBe  (25-12-2015),CakeyMumma  (24-12-2015)

  8. #7
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    Just about everyone I know in real life do not have perfectly tidy houses. I think that is the majority of people. And I know in my case my house is tidiest when I am expecting guests otherwise it's pretty messy. I am trying to declutter and get some storage furniture but I have also come to accept that the beautifully matched and neat homes on the net are just not going to be a reality for me and that's ok. Housework will always be there. You also need to take time out of for yourself and do things you like even if it means relaxing and neglecting house work from time to time.

  9. #8
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    People think that of me I think - or so they say, I'm 34 weeks pregnant and have a nearly 3 year old and a 15 month old.

    When people come over my house is always tidy - if not clean. I make time to do my hair and makeup every time I go out and I dress rockerbilly/pinup so it looks impressive although usually takes me no more than half an hour.

    However if anyone comments I'm VERY quick to tell the truth about how I'm just doing what works to get through the days and my life can be crazy and I don't always cope so well.

    I think what we see and what is real are two different things.

  10. #9
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    I just have a 6 month old. I'm 'surface coping' which to me means that if we're having a good day/week then life's a breeze I'm calm happy get things done without fuss. If my DD is not having a good time (I mean tired, won't sleep, grumpy - the majority of her 6 months so far) then I fall to pieces. Not that others would notice, house is always clean and tidy as i will kill myself keeping it that way as a control thing. If house is messy it adds to my stress level/not coping so much. But when I'm struggling to keep on top of it all I often cry, I'm short tempered (with DH and DD and hate myself for it) and want to run away.
    I think whatever you see on the surface for *most* people it's not as effortless underneath and they're paddling like mad to stay afloat. Appearances aren't always what they seem try not to be seduced by the image people want you to see and let it make you feel inadequate.

  11. #10
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    I had my stuff together with 2 kids, clean tidy house, worked, did crossfit, always tome to wash and blowdry hair....until i had my 3rd then its all fallen to pieces hahaha


 

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