Here goes... We've been together 7 years. This is just the bigger things, not the every day stuff. We're about to start counselling for all our usual relationship issues. Money, sex, trust etc.
My dad died.
I got swine flu
I fell down the stairs & broke my leg in 3 places; surgery
We both got whooping cough
Found out DH has zero sperm count. Testicular biopsies.
3 years of IVF & one miscarriage
My ongoing bipolar 2 issues
My mum contracting septicaemia & nearly dying. Icu for 2 weeks.
After my C section my son was in NICU for 4 days. Then I contracted septicaemia, my wound opened up & leaked litres of fluid. 3 weeks in hospital & 6 weeks of daily nurse visits to pack wound.
Post natal depression & a mild psychosis.
Son chronically ill with ear infections; hearing affected till surgery at 2 years. Now speech delayed.
Failed last & only IVF cycle to try for a sibling. Zero fertilisation.
Last year I was hospitalised with pulmonary embolisms & splenic infarcts, ended up it was a rare strain of glandular fever. Kept tissuing cannulas so they put a pic line in. Got blood clot & staff infection in pic line. Had power line put in. 3 weeks in hospital & 3 weeks of home visits for IV antibiotics through power line.
Mother-in-law who we live with hospitalised for 3 months for anxiety, depression & bulimia. Still unwell
4 weeks ago my brother went to the Dr with back pain. We found out he had lung cancer that metastasised to the liver, lymph nodes, bone & blood. He passed away a week ago today. We had his funeral on Wednesday.
Through it all we're so lucky to have each other & our son.
Last edited by ertgirl; 19-02-2016 at 21:42.
This is a very interesting thread, I read some responses and seriously, it's mostly all the same problems. Problems that can be solved if both parties are willing to try. So it's all positive.
I will say this before I log off.... I personally do not believe there is a perfect relationship out there. Everyone argues, has disagreements, has family issues, finance issues and all our everyday worries, what people show in public and what goes on behind closed doors are 2 different things.
And well done to the people who have responded.
We have been very lucky, but in our nearly 10 years together DH and I have endured:
- undiagnosable infertility, years of trying (and failing) to conceive naturally
- IVF (successful but comes with its own special set of emotional and financial challenges)
- very mentally ill mil that projects much of her frustration and blame onto DH, resulting in him having a few "mummy issues" that impact on our relationship and likely always will
- DH leaving a good job to start a business, financial pressures of that
- I "survived" a significant natural disaster (not physical survival, but mentally through my involvement in it with my job - sorry to be obtuse but don't really want to identify myself on here by sharing too much detail)
- I had some PND after DDs birth (DH was just amazing, I don't know how I'd have got through it without him)
- a sibling was struck down with severe mental illness
This was definitely not the case with my exH! He was very verbally abusive behind closed doors. Nobody ever heard the horrible stuff he said to me (except unfortunately our DS). I left him when DS was 3.5yo.
I think it's because our relationship is based on mutual trust and respect so there's no need to "put up a front" in public and try to appear as something other than what we are. we aren't perfect but things are generally good and I feel that's reflected in how we behave and treat eachother when we're out and about.
obviously we don't discuss private topics in public but that's just common sense.
Apart from two pregnancies where I had zero sex drive and the raising of two kids (so far). I suffered very badly with PND and it turned into a diagnosis of Bipolar. Many years of denial nearly cost me my husband (I totally don't blame him, if it was the other way round I would have left). I finally seeked help and things got better...until they got bad again. Now they are better again but who knows for how long. This something we will constantly be dealing with.
Dh did a traineeship where we took a pay cut of over half. We went form a 90k/year income to a 40k/year. That was really tough but He hated his 90k/year job and needed to do this. We got through it though. Now I'm at Tafe and we have again taken a pay cut. Lets see how this pans out...
We have already gotten through so much, I figure we can take on anything. Its only made our marriage stronger and our love more important.
Bump for Saturday nights crowd
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