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  1. #21
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    Hmm, we were very young when we got together, so some of these are teenage troubles. We've been together for nearly 12 years.

    -hiding our relationship from my parents due to disapproval
    -them finding out; all sorts of repercussions from that
    -my friendship with a guy I'd had a crush on for years
    -breaking up, twice
    So...our relationship survived us being teenagers, which is a pretty good start.
    -suicide in his family
    -him running a very low-profit business, which I often think of as our third child
    -a very low income for a very long time
    -serious illnesses of our parents
    -2 pregnancies/babies
    -very different mindset when it comes to sex
    -his very dependent/immature mother
    -learning how to communicate well (an ongoing process)
    -anxiety (both of us)
    -depressive episodes (DP)
    -A drunk cheating incident
    -various health concerns
    -different ideas about the number/timing of children we want
    Probably more. I wouldn't have it any other way. What's a relationship if times are always easy, and it's never tested? You learn together, and every step of the way you make the choice (or not) to put in the effort required and to keep the relationship moving forward.

  2. #22
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    Wow been through a lot as well! All that moving is extremely hard. I have it on a small basis with my family in different states and even that takes a toll so country would be very hard.

    I think the important thing is to never loose site of the ultimate goal to obtain a comfort in some
    Sort of happiness, make sure that at the end of all the troubles, issues and heart break that you reach that goal and that dream/ journey and not to loose site of the end of the tunnel and make sure that it all leads to light because at the end of the day I think it's so easy just to settle into unhappiness and just accept it for what it is and think that that's the way it is. I don't want to go through life always onto the next big win, I'm glad that I'm finally getting to that point where I enjoy each day and enjoy life for the moment because I can't imagine living for something else in the future and something that is so far away.

    Of course on the terrible journey which is a normal part of life it makes and moulds us to who we are and we have some good memories in between as well to look back on, just make sure it doesn't consume your whole life because it's so easy to fall into that living for the future.

  3. #23
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    Dh cheated on me 2 years into our relationship. He didn't sleep with her, they just made out for awhile in a bar. Still cut me to the bone, played havoc with my self confidence and trust. I already had trust issues as it was so it hit me like a tonne of bricks. I loved him so much and had done so for a long time before we actually got together, that played a huge part in why i stayed with him. He is the type of person i thought would never cheat and i know he feels forever guilty for it. He also knows if he does it again that's it. I think having our boys now has definitely set him straight also. He doesn't want to turn out like his own crap father.
    Anyway somehow we made it through, and 10 years later we are married with 2 kids.
    There was a period before we got engaged where i was working 2 jobs. Our relationship was in a rut, we were hardly seeing each other with me working 5 days and 6 nights a week. I developed a crush on a coworker and we had serious flirtations and i guess you could call it an emotional affair, he was there for me when my partner wasn't. Nothing physical ever happened i just couldn't bring myself to do it but i still feel horrible about it. In the long run it has brought us closer together.
    Now our problems just consist of his parents .... 😒
    Last edited by meandmyboys82; 20-12-2015 at 21:50.

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  5. #24
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    - growing up together. We were 19 when we started dating and I absolutely did not think it would be a long term thing (well, not this long term). I treated him and our relationship as a short term thing for a while..
    - travelling overseas for 2 years together
    - living in separate countries for 1 yr
    - a (very) unplanned pregnancy for our oldest
    - 3 children
    - an abortion and a miscarriage
    - my PND from my oldest
    - a 9 month separation
    - his wacky family
    - his PTSD and anxiety
    Last edited by Barnaby; 20-12-2015 at 22:03.

  6. #25
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  7. #26
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    Quote Originally Posted by FirstTimeMummy2012 View Post
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  8. #27
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    My DH and I have only been married 6 years. ...
    But it's been full on. ..
    - DH has been made redundant three times, in 6 years..right before we married, then again the same week we found our baby had a heart defect...and then again 2 years later.
    - depression and anxiety for both of us.
    - hospitalisation and illness for him.
    - diagnosis of our baby having a heart defect. .and then a rare syndrome and the difficulties of raising a special needs child.
    - my loss of job while he was long time unemployed
    - miscarriage
    - loss of all income which resulted in losing our home and cars....basically everything resulting in bankruptcy.
    - heart surgeries and hospital stays for our daughter
    - bullying at work. ..

    We've endured so much together. He's my best friend. He's the one I want to talk to first and last, even when he's driving me nuts!

  9. #28
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    All relationships will be tested at some point, and then again, and again if you are together long enough! I look at the older generation, in my case, my grandparents who just celebrated their 50th anniversary and I know there has been so much compromise and so many challenges in those years, but yeah coming through it really gives a bond like no other. Personally for us, coming up to 7 years of marriage the hardest times have been our first baby - no support, neither of us had any clue - and serious illness, coming through those limitations of poor health. I think probably the most essential thing to a long marriage is that commitment on both sides, that separation is not an option (under normal circumstances of course, not abuse etc).

  10. #29
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    Last edited by MissMuppet; 19-02-2016 at 17:02.

  11. #30
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    Dh and I have been together 9.5 years. During that time we have
    - had his ex (dss) mother come and declare her love for him

    - had an old arrest warrant from 9 years before we met come knocking on our door. Worst 4 months ever.

    - ectopic pregnancy resulting in loss of conceiving naturally. I still feel like I have let him down

    - drug habits ( not hardcore stuff). Although he is now almost 12 months clean.

    Lots of family issues and a very short fuse on dh. Part however he know keeps his cool and doesn't fly off the handle at the smallest things.


 

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