+ Reply to Thread
Page 1 of 2 12 LastLast
Results 1 to 10 of 15
  1. #1
    Join Date
    Dec 2013
    Posts
    271
    Thanks
    298
    Thanked
    133
    Reviews
    0

    Default Palliative care, Christmas and family

    Not sure where this belongs really
    We just got the news this week that my Dad's cancer has spread to his lungs and that treatment is no longer possible. The doctor said he has months; maybe 2 maybe 6
    It started as throat cancer so as a result he now has a feeding tube and will be coming home from hospital on Monday with the palliative care team setting up hospital bed etc at home
    Anyway; I've scrapped the original present I had for him as he can't do it (wanted to give him and my mum a seaplane flight over our area) and have had ideas about naming a star, family photos (although I don't think he'll want to be photographed) and a video from friends and family (problem is he hasn't told most of them yet)....
    Anyone been through this horrible horrible time and has advice for something he might need? Amything practical as well as sentimental? My brains all over the place at the moment so any help appreciated :-(
    Sorry for the essay

  2. #2
    TheGooch's Avatar
    TheGooch is offline Winner 2014 - Newbie of the Year
    Join Date
    Jan 2014
    Posts
    4,792
    Thanks
    8,059
    Thanked
    4,145
    Reviews
    0
    Achievements:Topaz Star - 500 postsAmber Star - 2,000 posts
    Awards:
    100 Posts in a week
    I couldn't read an run.
    I'm so very sorry you, your Dad and family are going through this.
    My mum was diagnosed with ovarian cancer when I was 12. She went into remission and then they discovered tumours in her brain. She died when I was 14.
    I remember her wanting to take her last family holiday with us. She wanted to take us to Samoa where her father was a missionary when he was young. We never made it.
    Gifts she was given that she appreciated:
    A beautiful cashmere blanket to have over her knees
    A CD of her favourite music
    Photos of her family
    A glass of wine (at that stage who cares what it did to her? She also smoked and we didn't deny her that either.)
    Meals cooked that were her favourites
    Sitting outside in the sun having breakfast together
    Talking books - she was a keen reader but her vision was blurry so taking books were the best option.
    I remember the most important thing was spending time with us.

    I wish you and your family peace at Christmas xxx

  3. The Following User Says Thank You to TheGooch For This Useful Post:

    KT8  (20-12-2015)

  4. #3
    BH-KatiesMum's Avatar
    BH-KatiesMum is offline Community Manager
    Winner 2008 - The most optimistic poster
    Winner 2014 - Most Helpful Moderator
    Join Date
    Oct 2007
    Location
    Perth WA
    Posts
    22,410
    Thanks
    5,373
    Thanked
    5,815
    Reviews
    3
    Achievements:Topaz Star - 500 postsAmber Star - 2,000 postsAmethyst Star - 5,000 postsEmerald Star - 10,000 postsRuby Star - 15,000 postsDiamond Star - 20,000 posts
    Awards:
    Past Moderator
    200 Posts in a week100 Posts in a week


    the best thing you can give him is not a 'thing' .... its time spent with you and your family. Give him a special christmas with everyone who loves him all around ... sharing memories and making as much of the time he has left as you can.

    Its so hard

  5. The Following User Says Thank You to BH-KatiesMum For This Useful Post:

    KT8  (20-12-2015)

  6. #4
    Join Date
    Dec 2013
    Posts
    271
    Thanks
    298
    Thanked
    133
    Reviews
    0

    Default Thanks

    Thanks ladies for the hugs and advice.
    He's sent emails now to his old friends overseas (not able to speak very well so had to do via email) so I'm going to contact them and ask them to send me video messages for him, i think he'll like that
    He had to go back on oxygen last night so we're just hoping that doesn't hinder him being able to come home tomorrow, we'll see
    Thanks again 💜

  7. #5
    Join Date
    Jan 2012
    Posts
    7,381
    Thanks
    2,575
    Thanked
    3,786
    Reviews
    7
    Achievements:Topaz Star - 500 postsAmber Star - 2,000 postsAmethyst Star - 5,000 posts
    What about a photo book of his closest friends and family and / or special times in his life, so he can reminisce on what has hopefully been a wonderful life.

    Huge hugs to you and your family xx

  8. #6
    Join Date
    Dec 2013
    Posts
    271
    Thanks
    298
    Thanked
    133
    Reviews
    0
    Sadly I didn't get to use any of the ideas... my dad passed away on Tuesday morning :-( came so suddenly even though we knew it was coming we thought we'd have months
    At least me my mum and sister were with him, it was actually lovely in a way. But still wish he had been here for Christmas I know he wanted to be :-( and to tell him everything I wanted to :-(

  9. #7
    Join Date
    Jun 2010
    Location
    Toowoomba
    Posts
    5,378
    Thanks
    6,119
    Thanked
    2,758
    Reviews
    0
    Achievements:Topaz Star - 500 postsAmber Star - 2,000 postsAmethyst Star - 5,000 posts
    Awards:
    200 Posts in a weekBusiest Member of the Week - Week ended 24/7/2014100 Posts in a week
    Sending you so much love xxxx

  10. The Following User Says Thank You to HearMeRoar For This Useful Post:

    KT8  (26-12-2015)

  11. #8
    Join Date
    Aug 2013
    Posts
    3,598
    Thanks
    133
    Thanked
    1,617
    Reviews
    0
    Achievements:Topaz Star - 500 postsAmber Star - 2,000 posts
    So sorry to hear that. Sending you lots of love xxx

  12. The Following User Says Thank You to Louise41 For This Useful Post:

    KT8  (26-12-2015)

  13. #9
    TheGooch's Avatar
    TheGooch is offline Winner 2014 - Newbie of the Year
    Join Date
    Jan 2014
    Posts
    4,792
    Thanks
    8,059
    Thanked
    4,145
    Reviews
    0
    Achievements:Topaz Star - 500 postsAmber Star - 2,000 posts
    Awards:
    100 Posts in a week
    I'm so sorry @KT8
    Huge hugs to you xxx
    Be kind to yourself in your grief

  14. The Following User Says Thank You to TheGooch For This Useful Post:

    KT8  (26-12-2015)

  15. #10
    Join Date
    Oct 2015
    Posts
    1,013
    Thanks
    780
    Thanked
    775
    Reviews
    0
    Achievements:Topaz Star - 500 posts
    So sorry for your loss.

  16. The Following User Says Thank You to SSecret Squirrel For This Useful Post:

    KT8  (26-12-2015)


 

Similar Threads

  1. Palliative Patient Gift.
    By winterbaby in forum Social Issues
    Replies: 9
    Last Post: 30-10-2015, 11:26
  2. Family day care inner north.
    By CakeyMumma in forum Metropolitan
    Replies: 0
    Last Post: 17-02-2015, 12:07
  3. *spin off* How many family functions do you do at Christmas?
    By Apple iPhart6 in forum General Chat
    Replies: 49
    Last Post: 20-12-2014, 19:33

Posting Permissions

  • You may not post new threads
  • You may not post replies
  • You may not post attachments
  • You may not edit your posts
free weekly newsletters | sign up now!
who are these people who write great posts? meet our hubbub authors!
Learn how you can contribute to the hubbub!

reviews
learn how you can become a reviewer!

competitions

forum - chatting now
christmas gift guidesee all Red Stocking
Mother and Baby Shop
Save $$$ during our Christmas Sale Mother and Baby Shop
Great prices on Schoenhut kids pianos, toys, baby clothing as well as big brands like Pigeon, NUK, Cherub Baby and many more. Sale starts on 1 November 2016 and ends on the 27 December 2016. Hurry! Place your order today!
sales & new stuffsee all
True Fairies
True Fairies is the first interactive website where children can engage and speak with a real fairy through the unique webcam fairy portal. Each session is tailored to the child, and is filled with enchantment and magic.
Visit website to find out more!
featured supporter
Cots on Bubhub
Looking to buy a cot or bassinet? :: Cot safety checklist :: Local or online nursery shops
gotcha
X

Pregnant for the first-time?

Not sure where to start? We can help!

Our Insider Programs for pregnancy first-timers will lead you step-by-step through the 14 Pregnancy Must Dos!