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  1. #31
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    Id say she was a bit busier but I've got it "easier" I think as I have a cleaner, dishwasher, dry cleaner, dryer and more fancy appliances and easier access to banking and on line shopping and she didn't, we both cook everything, shop every few days, both had grandparents on hand to mind kids, I have a car and she didn't until we were all in school so she took us everywhere when we were little by train or bus , I take DS to more activities at his age than she did but she did more arts and crafts to keep us occupied than I do, she didn't work until we were all in high school and I do part time but she had 3 kids I've only got 1 so in that way she was a lot busier!

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    Looking back - no. I think my mum was busier. She always had a lot on her plate and had high standards when it came to housework. She's not the type to put things off like I do sometimes - she's a do-er.

    She was a SAHM & had two kids. I work full time and have an only child.

  3. #33
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    I'm not sure you can really compare. My mum was a sahm with 4 kids and I'm a working mum with 1 kid (atm). I find she doesn't understand at all how crazy it is trying to manage work around looking after a toddler. I think now she has an empty nest she has way too much free time to get caught up in all the little things.

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    Thinking about what the OP was saying about 'obligations' - I think that while my mum was definitely busier, there are more expectations on parents these days. I often comment to DH that school expects far more parental involvement these days than when I was a kid, there's more homework from an early age, and there's an expectation that kids will be in a variety of extra curricular activities.

    There's so much more information out there now about what's healthy and what's not and what parents 'should' be doing to raise healthy, well adjusted kids that there's a lot of pressure on parents to be perfect and follow all the (sometimes conflicting) guidelines. There's also more regulations and rules to follow and more of a 'big brother is watching' feel. In the 80s it was common for kids to walk home from school, let themselves in and stay home all afternoon alone until parents came home from work. The 'latchkey kid' phenomenon. That's no longer considered acceptable.

    All in all it leads to more pressure on parents to always be present, while working harder than ever to provide financial security, in between ferrying kids to swimming lessons and dancing and music lessons, and only ever parenting in a 'positive' way. And people are super quick to point finger if you get it wrong.

    So yes, I think that there are more obligations imposed on parents these days.

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  6. #35
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    I am much busier than my mum was.

    I have soon to be 4 children, need to work 3 days per week to make ends meet, and do all the house work as well as activities with all of the kids.

    My mum was a SAHM from the time my brother (her first) was born, only had 2 kids, and never went back to work. She did a fine job of keeping house, but was never over the top, and did LOTS of activities with us both and got very involved in everything we did. So she kept busy by doing that stuff. I'd love to get more involved with the kids activities but life's a bit too full on at the moment for that. Maybe further down the track.

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    Hmm interesting.

    I guess yes and no?

    Mum was a SAHM to 5 (youngest is currently 7) and dad was sort of FIFO. We didn't do any afterschool activities. But second youngest is autistic so lots of appts and meetings, programs, etc.

    I think I am busier in that I work and look after the home and the kids.
    But I'm not because we only have the kids 30% of the time, and there are only 2 of them.

    But then mum didn't have to deal with another parent and the expectations with that; dad helped minimally, but more than my H does; mum didn't iron, I do; mum outsourced cleaning to me, I occasionally get the kids to tidy but it's usually their room/stuff only; our two do 9 (DSD) and 5 afterschool (DSS) activities, we did none; mum had a car, I use public transport.

    Maybe I am busier as a mum during the time we have the kids?

    Busier is the wrong word IYKWIM?

    I think more is expected of the modern mum- you have to work, but be with your kids all the time, have a neat (not necessarily spotless) home, everyone should be happy, kids should do 2/3 activities, family time, meal planning, lists, etc etc.

    ETA: oh and school! My god their expectations are different now- growing up it was attend 2 parent-teacher meetings and help out at the annual fundraiser. Now it's classroom assistants, ethics teaching, canteen help, fundraisers every term... it's endless. The notes alone!
    Last edited by DT75; 16-12-2015 at 10:07.

  8. #37
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    Quote Originally Posted by MissMuppet View Post
    Thinking about what the OP was saying about 'obligations' - I think that while my mum was definitely busier, there are more expectations on parents these days. I often comment to DH that school expects far more parental involvement these days than when I was a kid, there's more homework from an early age, and there's an expectation that kids will be in a variety of extra curricular activities.

    There's so much more information out there now about what's healthy and what's not and what parents 'should' be doing to raise healthy, well adjusted kids that there's a lot of pressure on parents to be perfect and follow all the (sometimes conflicting) guidelines. There's also more regulations and rules to follow and more of a 'big brother is watching' feel. In the 80s it was common for kids to walk home from school, let themselves in and stay home all afternoon alone until parents came home from work. The 'latchkey kid' phenomenon. That's no longer considered acceptable.

    All in all it leads to more pressure on parents to always be present, while working harder than ever to provide financial security, in between ferrying kids to swimming lessons and dancing and music lessons, and only ever parenting in a 'positive' way. And people are super quick to point finger if you get it wrong.

    So yes, I think that there are more obligations imposed on parents these days.
    Yes, that was sort of my thinking too. But the flip side of that is that our mums were probably more expected to keep a nice house, etc. many people have mentioned ironing- it was just the done thing back then and now I don't think nearly as many people iron everything. And I think fathers have stepped up more, and more workplaces have more family friendly and flexible work hours.
    So I'm not convinced either way! I think perhaps it does even out.

  9. #38
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    Yes and no. I know my mum was back working full time within months - if not weeks - of me being born. She just propped the cot up in the salon (hairdresser) along with other bubs. Pretty sure that would be an OHS issue these days!

    That said, my dad had a mon-fri type job whereas my DH travels for work and is often not home during the week.

    I also think we try and do 'more' than our parents did. I work almost full time, study part time, take DS to swimming lessons every week without fail (from 6 months old), take him to kindy sports, we have a dog that needs walking everyday, a large house with a pool that needs cleaning, etc etc. I cook everything from scratch and wouldn't dream of feeding my kids packet pasta or 2 min noodles. We take more holidays overseas and interstate and do a lot more on wknds.
    My childhood was much simpler, we rarely did anything on wknds and a holiday was an annual camping trip locally. We were often left to our own devices for entertainment and didn't get homework until late primary school.

  10. #39
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    My mum went back to work full time so in that sense she was less busy with Childcare. However, when she started working part time (self-employed) she was much busier than I am as she had 5 kids. We all had activities on every day that we had to be shuttled to etc including weekends. She was less busy once I was driving and able to help though.

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    No way. While I'm working full time with 2 kids, mum was a single parent with 3 and working full time too.

    I've got it easy.


 

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