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  1. #341
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    Quote Originally Posted by Bongley View Post
    Heheh, well here is what I have been contending with for the past few days. Unfortunately DPO8 went a really horrible dark colour but it was the darkest line. The numbers are DPO not times, so it is 10DPO not 10am and 10pm.

    Attachment 76590

    @Bongley!

    I think Incy Wincy spider has made you 'up the water spout!'




    At the risk of jinxing you (and God knows I don't want to do that) I think things are looking very positive thus far.



    I am going to be casing this thread like a burglar, looking for this afternoon's stick pic!

    Good luck hon, I really hope this is it for you


    Blossom

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  3. #342
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    Summer, this sounds positive. at least you know the problem and can work on a solution for it. put on a project manager hat and send him a task list to cross off. maybe he needs the todo list approach

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  5. #343
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    Quote Originally Posted by faithandhopellove View Post
    I have just been for the harmony blood test. I rang this morning and they said they could do it today. The OB was actually keen for amnio as it is 100% accurate but I just can't get past the risk. Particularly as a friend of mine lost her bub after amnio. In all honesty I don't think I could terminate. If one is ok I would be worried 'selective reduction' would result in losing both. I don't even want to think about the possibility both have Downs. Please God no. Shudder.


    Not sure how long the results will take to come back over Christmas. Could be a long wait. At least I have Christmas to distract me wish I could have me a bottle of vino though.

    Love, this must be so hard for you. I can understand your hesitation to do the amnio especially since there is still a fair chance that both your bubbas are just fine Done with experienced professionals the risk is probably negligible but none-the-less that is your risk (and yours alone) to take. It's all too easy for us to say "Do it" when we're not the ones who might suffer the consequence, so if not doing the amnio is your call then of course we support that.

    At the end of the day (and this is going to sound terrible but I can't think of a nice way of saying it, so please forgive me) if the tests show the worst possible results and termination is not (as you said) an option for you, then there is no point taking the risk anyway.

    I am really hoping and praying that this is just a whole lot of worry that will never, ever eventuate for you hon. We are betting women on this site - every single day we challenge the odds and it is not unheard of to win them! I am laying my money on everything working out just fine for you hon.


    Blossom

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  7. #344
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    @Bongley oh my what a wonderful Christmas present this would be for you. Fx this is your Christmas wish coming true. 😁

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  9. #345
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    Quote Originally Posted by Summer View Post
    Thanks for your support guys - I had a bit more of a talk with DH last night, trying to get to the bottom of things. Part of it seems to be not necessarily the money so much, but just that I haven't given him a firm plan. So he feels totally up in the air and has no idea what is going on, so it seems like he's not committed. But really, what he wants is for me to come to him and say "I've chosen this donor, we're doing it this way, this is the date, I need a cheque for X" and then he'd be fine. So I'm thinking that I'm communicating with him and including him in it and looking at the options (my friend, traveling donors in Brisbane, or OS) and he just sees it as having no plan yet.

    So we're getting there, but we'll still be heading to counseling in the new year as he has no idea how to support me in this and it isn't good.

    Well, the discussion is happening so that is a good first step love. I think definitely make use of counselling if DH is open to it, it might just help him understand the pain, the desperation, and the incredible need you have for his support at what is a very emotionally and physically challenging time for you.

    Men just don't 'get it' sometimes. My DH is a lovely man, but I don't think he has cast a thought about the fact that I went alone to TWO scans, to be told each time that my baby died. That I cried all the way home both times, and had to stop on the side of the road until it passed. That I went to have my baby torn out of me by a Doctor I had never met with no support but my parents to drive me there and back. He doesn't know the feeling of 'realising' you are pregnant, of holding all that hope for a life which sadly never came to light. They don't always 'get it' the way we do hon, and even if they do they can't articulate it as we do. Not that I am very articulate about these things, but we expect a lot from our men and as my DH said "Until I see the baby it doesn't feel real to me."

    So they faff about working and fixing things and mopping floors, and that is how they support us. Your DH just has to realise that opening the cheque book is the best support he can give you right now I think the fact that you are both talking about the issue is really positive. Perhaps if you can do some research and get a formal plan written down (DH is a business man, he probably appreciates a good business proposal!) he might be more accepting of where you want to head and write that cheque out for you.

    Wishing you all the very best hon.

    Blossom

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  11. #346
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    My thoughts are with you @faithandhopellove, you must be so stressed.
    Good luck for BT @Sue77

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  13. #347
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    Quote Originally Posted by Tahli View Post
    AFM I've an apt with LB on 8 Feb to discuss a referral for the HyCoSy. There's no way I'll be cycling again til Easter-ish at this rate.

    Perhaps this enforced break is part of the universe's bigger plan to get you to give your mind and body a little rest and recover from everything you have been through love? I really think this opportunity to get everything in order is going to give you the best chance of success

    I also understand how bl@@dy hard it is to be sitting around and 'doing nothing.' I am now approximately 2 months past D&C and still have a month or so before I begin my next cycle. In a way I am grateful to have the chance to recover from my loss, but hugs to you hon because I know how frustrating that wait can beSo very worth it if you get to hold a bub in your arms at the end of it though.

    Blossom

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  15. #348
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    Omfg @Bongley if that's not a BFP then I'll be a monkey's uncle !!

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  17. #349
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    Quote Originally Posted by Summer View Post
    Wow this thread moves fast!!!
    @Bongley that second line is looking darker Come on Incy! COME ON!!! I have everything crossed for you that your line just keeps on getting darker from here - how exciting!

    @faithandhopellove what a huge stress to have to go through at the moment, I hope they can give you some answers ASAP so that you know exactly what you are dealing with. I know we all face the same risks at this age, it's a hard one.

    Good luck @Sue77 I'll be stalking for an update as well!

    Thanks for your support guys - I had a bit more of a talk with DH last night, trying to get to the bottom of things. Part of it seems to be not necessarily the money so much, but just that I haven't given him a firm plan. So he feels totally up in the air and has no idea what is going on, so it seems like he's not committed. But really, what he wants is for me to come to him and say "I've chosen this donor, we're doing it this way, this is the date, I need a cheque for X" and then he'd be fine. So I'm thinking that I'm communicating with him and including him in it and looking at the options (my friend, traveling donors in Brisbane, or OS) and he just sees it as having no plan yet.

    So we're getting there, but we'll still be heading to counseling in the new year as he has no idea how to support me in this and it isn't good.
    It's a good start Luv😊

    He's a businessman & still thinking with his businessman's cap on. He needs to take it off & put his DH's cap on instead regarding you & this matter

    Am confident you in combination with the counselling will teach him how to do that so he can meet your needs in the way you want & need him to😊 xo

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  19. #350
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    Thanks @winsor & @Blossom74 I think the business plan approach is going to be the best one - the baby is going to be his no matter what, so maybe he isn't as invested in all the ups and downs that I am going through to get there?... So I think I will just keep forging ahead and figuring it out and then when I do have a firm plan, then present it to him, rather than having him involved in the decision making process.

    Thank you for your heart felt message too @Blossom74 - having been there four times myself, and each and every scan was on my own to hear those words "I'm sorry we don't have a heartbeat" is just so incredibly soul destroying. My DH really didn't (and still doesn't) know how to cope with this level of grief. I think that is the same for a lot of guys, especially those with children, there is no way they can identify with a woman who has such a primal yearning to have a child, and to have those weeks of possibility, of dreaming and creating a future, to have it ripped away. So even though we're moving through things OK, I think counseling is going to help him understand what I need moving forward. Hugs hon, this whole thing is do difficult

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