What parent hadn't thought this at some point? This time this is the accusation thrown at me from dp. Ms8 has been very emotional lately a bit erratic. Sullen at times then buoyant. A lot more name calling. Then twice in last few weeks she's had mega meltdowns about tiny things - like the thing she got from book club is crap / she made a crease in her chatter box... These have ended with her telling us all she hates us and then turning on herself and saying she's stupid / dumb / horrible that she wants to die and even asked me how can you kill yourself. I'm worried. She does tend to be dramatic and can't stop her mouth when angry but she's obviously hurting badly too. I told dp that I want to see a psych about her. Once again he plays it all down. Everything is just normal kid behaviour. I'm reading books and parenting blogs and I've degrees in psychology but he knows best cus she's his daughter and he knows her. Now me and ms8 have had a turbulent relationship and I'm working on connecting better with her, she probably does tell him more. Anyways he starts getting annoyed that I don't trust him (his words) and want see a psych. Told me to throw away my books. When I stood firm - usually I let things go to keep the peace but now I'm really worried - he tells me she's a good kid and I'm going to mess her up!!!! It's hazy cus I was thrown by that even from him but I think the jist is that he's not worried about her emotional state / behaviour but he is worried that I'm going to mess her up.
I clash with her a lot although I felt we were getting better. She refuses to do anything in the house, calls me names, criticises me all the time. 6 months ago I saw a psych for my own anxiety/ depression and also at the time she had been shaking a knife at me but thought ok cus she didn't hurt me. Psych very concerned and her take was that she thinks she's in charge. So I'm trying to simultaneously connect with her and also reestablishing some rules and boundaries and help her to realise she's still the child and her parents do have some control. Anyways it does lead to clashes and I don't always handle it the way I should. But it's gotten better. I actually wonder if she is starting to get more angry at herself now that she isn't able to use me as target practice? Anyways I'm just reeling that mr perfect would accuse me of messing her up!!! That was Friday and I'm wandering in a twilight zone since wondering how we became such a dysfunctional family